LiFe SnApSHoTs

Give it Today

2010-11-15T15:38:00.002+08:00

Give it Today

Just because you're sad, doesn't mean it's forever
Just because it happened, doesn't mean it's all bad
Give it one more day
Give it today

Just because you stumble, doesn't mean that you'll fall
Just because you're scared, doesn't mean you'll unravel
Give it one more day
Give it today

Just because it's an ordeal, doesn't mean it's the end
Just because you've been wounded, doesn't mean you won't heal
Give it one more day
Give it today

Just because you ache, doesn't mean there's no answer
Just because you crack, doesn't mean you will break
Give it one more day
Give it today

It's just a matter of time
Time will make it different
What will make it change?
It's just a matter of mind
Give it one more day
Give it today

Don't think about yesterday
Don't worry about tomorrow
Today is the only day
Give it today

Just because you don't know it, doesn't mean it'll change
There is hope for the taking if you just try to permit
The tough times to roll, the hard times to be
Light in the darkness
And today is your goal
It can get better
It will get better
Give it today.

~Annonymous

PerfeCTly ImpERfECt

2010-10-27T14:41:00.003+08:00

"I'm not a perfect girl.
My hair does not always
stay in place & I spill things alot.
I'm pretty clumsy and sometimes
I have a broken heart.
My friends and I
sometimes fight & maybe
some days nothing goes right.
But when I think about it
and take a step back
I remember how amazing life
truly is & that maybe, juz maybe,
I like being imperfect..."

MuMMy

2010-09-30T14:10:00.003+08:00

We cant choose our mothers. like duh. but hey... u can somehow choose your mother-in-law no? if you cld choose, if i may say, my mummy will make one GREAT MIL man. in fact no need to wait for marriage. even b4 marriage already she so nice. too nice if there is such a thing. SHESSHHH. she surprises me at times. wif the things she does and say abt him! *shrugs shoulders. even NOW. and i go like -_-. as ironic as this might sound, she needs to get over it. seems like she sayang him a lot, maybe too much. -_- so it's his loss in this sense. haha. well... hopefully i'll give her a son-in-law in a few years time, for her to be nicer to. haha. how lucky that guy wld be. somehow i dun think my sis-in-law gets that treatment. not as great i wld say. in the meantime, hang on tight. :p

heard abt some horror PIL. Scaryyyyy... THAT was one of the reasons y i'm too scared to consider him right fr the start. it's not him. the guy's alright. but the MOTHER scares me A LOT. but err... as my mum wld say, "i dowan you to suffer in her hands." A living matriarch. scary u know. but the guy's nice. really nice. the dad's ok too. but buy one get one free leh. no choice how... well if i ever go Aust, i shall look for him. Pretty sure he has a nice hse which i can bunk in. and probably the car too? pretty please...? ok la, u drive. i prefer to be driven. haha. ;p but not mad ah! *knocks riz on the head. but i like your wit, as always ;)

MY Guy

2010-09-29T16:22:00.003+08:00

okie... let's talk abt this in the open coz i'm in the "W" state.

so so so... hmm.. wat can i say. disappointed? well, maybe a little. den again, i din haf much expectations in the first place. i haf to say i'm no saint. tho i might be nice. or i can choose to be nice. this post WAS meant to be really really really hurtful. you know how good i can be at that. but ok la, i shall be nicer. tho i haf to reiterate, im no saint.

hmm... i wonder how some people sleep at night. don't their conscience bug them when they've done sth so wrong? do they even haf conscience at all? how do you live life without moral values? how do you even live your life? do watever you want, be it right or wrong? sociologists wld say crime and deviance is culturally instilled in everyone. however, there are more universal ones which most societies wld frown upon. this includes what you did. people don't need to be sociologists to know that. in fact, even animals do. except one which i have decided to delete after typing. i'm suppose to be nicer so i'll try to keep that in mind.

somehow, i'm glad people around you still have some moral values instilled in them and values they hold true. surely that's important. we should have principles in life and hold them true coz them it helps to shape who we are and keeps us strong.

words fr a fren (somewat similar):

she: so what do you look for in a guy?

me: i dunno. i dun haf a checklist. i try not to expect too much.

she: you shouldn't do that. coz if u think that way, u'll just say "yes" to just about anyone who comes along, and then realise he's not the one you want or deserve. you should at least think of some qualities that you want in your guy. qualities that you think is important for them to have. and look for those who have those qualities.

so i sat and thought. wat qualities do i really want in my guy? qualities which i cant live without. of coz there are many. too many to state. then again, cannot have too much expectations.

one of the most important quality that i want in my guy is trustworthiness and the fact that he can gimme a sense of security. i'd give my guy space for him to do whatever he wants and with whoever he wants, girls and guys alike. surely i'd be jealous once in a while, but i'll still trust him. i want a guy who is strong enough to say "Don't even try. I'll not be taken in," when temptations arise. i want a guy who has principles strong enough to say "i want to protect the girl" and thus draws clear boundaries to others and myself. i want the guy to be in control of himself and tell me, "Yes, but control ah!" i want a guy whom i can trust my life with and tell me "Can work something out" when things dont seem to go our way or when i feel that things are not going to work out. Yes, i need that assurance. Following that, he does something about it. i want a guy who is creative enough to think of rational possibilities to make things happen. i want a guy who dares to say "Bottomline is, anak dara orang, dun play play."

i also think having a sense of humour is important. i want him to be able to see the lighter things in life even when the going gets tough. saying matter-of-fact things in a not-so-matter-of-fact way and make me laugh it off. i want him to be able to make me smile, laugh and cry tears of joy. i want him to be quick and witty enough in his jokes to sweep me off my feet. that ain't easy i muz say. jokes which are lame yet intelligent at the same time. i likkeeeee.... *smitten-ed

chances are, if he has strong moral values to guide his actions now, i'm banging that they will continue to do so in the future.

yes, i want such a guy. with the rest of the other virtues if i may add. Then qn is, is there such a guy? one in a million? one in two million? maybe more? am i asking for too much?

*smiles. the above quotes are not said by me but to me.

Then you'll ask, do these guys want me? well... i'd say, "Can work something out". or at least i'll try. haha. ;) bottomline is, THE Teacher (not me. i'm not a teacher anymore) has given them a tick: PASSED. and they are NOT ATTACHED. i ain't going to be a witch with a capital "B" in that sense, if u get wat i mean. Y? coz it hurts. and i wouldn't want another woman to feel how i felt before. It just ain't right.

The StORy OF thE EAgLe

2010-09-20T21:12:00.002+08:00

nice one. fr a gd fren. :)

Your heart decides who you want in your life.

But your behaviour decides who will stay in your life.

The story of the Eagle

The eagle has the longest life-span among birds.
It can life up to 70 years.
But to reach this age, the eagle must make a hard decision.
In it's 40s,
Its long and flexible talons can no longer grab prey which serves as food.
Its long and sharp beak becomes bent.
Its old-age and heavy wings, due to the thick feathers, become stuck to its chest and make it difficult to fly.
Then, the eagle is left with only two options: die or go through a painful process of change which lasts 150 days.
The process requires the eagle to fly to a mountain top and sit on its nest.
There the eagle knocks its beak against a rock until it plucks out.
After plucking it out, the eagle will wait for a new beak to grow back and andd then it will pluck out its talons.
When the new talons grow back, the eagle starts plucking out its old-aged feathers.
And after five months, teh eagle takes its famous flight of rebirth and lives for 30 more years.

Why is change needed?
Many times, in order to survive, we have to start a change process.
We sometimes need to get rid of old memories, habits and other past traditions.
Only freed from past burdens can we take advantage of the present.

When it rains, most birds head for shelter; the eagle is the only bird that, in order to avoid the rain, starts flying above the cloud.

Winners win by pushing their limits until their limits become the norm.

Nice story that one. Perhaps its time for rebirth. everything happens for a reason and Allah knows best. sometimes we wonder why things happen to us. well... there's a reason for sure. tho we might not know it now... perhaps in the future... perhaps never. but i trust Him for he is All-Knowing.

so ok, after all the roller coaster rides over and over again, YOU win. happy? you can have the "one in a million" trophy which you have always dreamed of. provided that trophy wants you and past resons are out of the window. but hey, chances are, NOW is a good time to make your move!

funny actually this one in a million thingy, i guess it's subjective bah... those were the days i wld say. yes, i remember that feeling. and it's still stuck in here, well somewhere, if i really bother to find it. after all these years... darn thing is he knows it! and takes advantage of it. -_- at least now, i stand up and tell him not to do so. hehe. but no, never going thru THAT wif you again. 1 decade has taught me well enough! a million or not! :P

for me, like wat people here like to say (still wondering if its a a culture), moving forward... ;) The change is painful yes, but i guess we got to endure the pain to get stronger so that we can spread our wings and fly. :)

HeeLLARIouSSSSSS WeEKEnD! Part 2

2010-09-19T16:35:00.002+08:00

so that was fri. it was real fun n funny.

sat was overcrowded!!!! lucky get to leave at 3. that oso late. so cannot make it. hope i din scare our new volunteer away. hee. glad its not so crowded now, thankfully. :)

so rushed down to masjid alkaff for my cousin'e farewell doa selamat. may Allah bless your journey to and fro. do well and do us proud. :) this year not bad. got to meet most of my family members. take picture2 some more. been a while since i saw some of them. so big already. and soalan bonus "kak lyna, why everyone call you adik ah?" aaaaahahahhaaaaaaaaa... well im always the adik in the family. and yes, i still kecik! wateverrrrrrrrr.... sesiapa yg panggil saya tante, tak dapat duit raya next yr! HMPH!

after that, the fun n laughter continued...

met one of the most hilarious bunch of friends i have. the ELDDS group!!! been a while and as usual, some people dont turn up at the last minute. but the 6 of us were gd. started wif a scare, then gossips den we said, "dunno wats wrong wif the kids nowadays. we went thru the same thing n we turned out alright." den C juz had to say, " We THINK we turned out alright! we need a third party opinion to be objective." and we really LOL. den i said, "looking at wat we are doing now, ya, i think we do need another opinion." the whole time, we were laughing away at every little thing that someone did. asking the stooooopidessstttttt questions and doing the stttttoooooopidddddeestttttttttt thing. how can we every get bored with each other. oh oh oh the choco cake was GGGOOOODDD.... and we were not shy abt it. went for a few rounds. T n C had a whole bottle of wine! wonder if the wine eventually kicked in.

den we had a tour of the hse. even the toilet and storeroom. we were like... eerrr... ookk.... storeromm no neeed.. and juz before we stepped onto the stairs, T asked... "is this hard wood?" and all of us jus LOL! T!!!! wat are you asking?!!??! of coz laaaaaaaaaaaaa!!!!! HAIYOOOOOOOOO...

But i got to say, the highlight of the day, we were playing wii. and T said that her nephew was playing when the controller flung onto the wall. and well, no points for guessing.. i was playing table tennis wif C. half way thru the game, while i was looking at the tv screen... a controller slammed onto the corner of the tv! one one thousand, two one thousand, three one thousand... silence... Then M went up to the TV. we all looked at each other and was like... OMG! wat happened siaaaaaa.... C was already... OMG! I'm so sorry! and we burst out laughing while feeling worried at the same time. WA LAO EHHHHHH.... sld haf videoed it man. Y almost turned pale! we were like.. eh eh eh... tv ok or not? and M checked the corner, thankfully, it was ok coz got the rubber casing! SHEEESHH! C!!!!!! den we realised the importance of the strap! den we started laughing n laughing n laughing. goodnesssss... and continued playing. LOL.

end of teh day, C was still sorry but no harm done. went to the car and teh couple started their own table tennis match. now we understand the meaning of "help me help you". ;)

all in all.. it was a good weekend. funny fun fun. :)

but somehow, right now, i still wish someone was here.

hEEEEEElIAriOUS WeEKenD! part 1

2010-09-19T16:14:00.003+08:00

The weekend started on friday this week. coz we were closed. had Fun Day.

went to HQ and a very serious meeting in the meeting room. we even drove out the other group member! so people, this is serious business! we need to strategise! what is our strategy to win? we should divide our group. who can do the physical stuff? we oso need the brains. think going to have acting. who can act? how do we get there? muz park car nearer to lab. let's look at the individual members. how can we bring each one of them down? we have to bring them down psychologically too! distraction strategy! we need a code!

Nis and San- pretend to fall and get hurt. they'll surely come to help.
Sar - talk abt rabbits. anything abt rabbits
Spen - frisbee
Lee- don't underestimate her.

Muz tell cab uncle to drive fast coz we playing survivor. gif exact chnage. reach here already, alamak, lift not working coz emergency announcement came on. kena climb stairs!!

GOODNESSSSSSSSSS!!!!!!!!!!!!! people.... this is FUN DAY!!! arent we taking this too seriously?!?!?! LOL. it was hilarious!!!!! listening to these doctors, psychologists and cms playing survivor! farnieeeeeeee!

everyone was so hyped up! running here and there and everywhere! so competitive! even the game masters were like... "CHILDREN!!! LISTENNNNNN!!!! you guys are acting like the patients!!!" they couldnt control us. lucky never kena restrain by the cisco people. if kena caught, suj will say, "hey i'm the doctor!" guard will reply, "yeah, that's what everyone says here." *shakes head. and water guns!!!! sheeshhhh... think we were worse than kids!

also, i haf to say budding channel U, suria and vasantham actors and actressess we haf in our team! woohoo!!! noone could tell... LOL. hot, bitter, sour and sweet. YUCKS!!!

it was fun people... and the after part... i dint know! at first was alright. den as time passed by.. it became darker and noiser. and i was like... err.. ok.. where am i again?? *shakes head. i think the guys had too much to drink. wasnt sure if they were trying to be funny wif the cross dressing and homo jokes or it's the alcohol kicking in. don't sit so close to me. i scared. lol. and he made me dance!!!!!!!! dont bully me horrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr....

all in all, it was great fun. and im now munching away wif the tidbits left behind. unhealthy! but thanks. you made my day people. love my department! ;)

ScARy? Or Am I JusZ ScAriNg MySeLF?

2010-09-19T15:38:00.002+08:00

so i love my job.
but it's getting scarier by the days. or am I jus scaring myself?

1) He who called juz to tell me that he would not be coming down here like he always does on this particular day. i tot to myself... oookkk... tho you dont haf to tell me...

2) He who comes by a few times a day juz to check if the aircon was working well. sure it was faulty. but i dun think need to come down so many times rite? if got further problem i'll surely call. perhaps he was bored. nothing better to do. came in a few times juz to chat. even after his shift, together wif the receptioninst to play game! The receptioninst oso semangat come here during her break. hmm...

3) He who comes to check if the place is ok... if i'm fine... ok... it's your job to make sure security is maintained and my unit is the only one in use on this floor at the moment... still... hmm... and of coz he came in to chat for a while. hmm...

4) He who came in while i was out. Asked the volunteer if i was working... stayed for a while and left before i came back. wat was that abt??? i never knew who he was. hmm...

5) He who comes in almost everyday during his break. asks me if i had eaten, offered to buy food and bring it to me!!! I'm like HUH???

OK.... when i put it this way, this IS getting scary!!!! maybe i'm juz thinking and analyzing too much. bottom line is... jgn nak SS. nanti paiseh sendiri, dunno where to put my face. perhaps they are juz being friendly.

but on another note, i wonder why some people juz dont get the hint. sacrificial some might say? or juz plain *toot*. well i can be very the straightforward and blunt. and it hurts. but some people juz dont get it even when it is being told to them at point blank! sheesh... how else should anyone put it to you?!

sometimes, you should save yourself some dignity and love yourself a little more. been there, done that, learnt it the hard way. never going to do it ever again. like wat a friend once told me, "I don't think he's the kind who likes girls flinging herself at him." likewise, i wanna say it to guys. coz at the end of the day, someone, maybe more, will eventually get hurt. coz people can get opportunistic and take advantage of the situation. including myself i muz say. so i admit it. guess the question is, wat are we going to do abt it? do we sit, enjoy the attention, pounce on the opportunity to take advantage of the other person juz coz he/she has a soft spot on us? or do we treat them like every other friends we have and not give in as much? the devil whispers..."aren't the benefits juz too much to give up?" what do you say?

to the one who keeps giving in n getting the worse end of the bargain remember, "sometimes, he's juz not that into you" or "she" for that matter. do read the previous post on that.

Thank YOU!

2010-09-19T15:16:00.004+08:00

ok, so the ranting's done.

now let's look at the brighter side.

i do love my job. yes i do. despite trying times... i still do and i'm thankful for it. but still, yes, i wish someone was here.

wanna say a big thank you for the people who helped when i needed them the most.

Thanks to F, who have always been around keeping me company and jaga-ing this place while i'm out. and packing the stuff. to do it alone wld haf taken a much longer time and energy! i'm so drained out. till today! TGIM!

Thanks to K. yes, it's your job. still, i appreciate it. i really needed to sit and rest. i'm tired. really tired. so thanks for doing wat i told you to do. appreciate it.

Thanks to S for listening to my whines when i needed to vent it out the most. for the first time the conversation was THAT serious. haha. and i know emo sh*t is NOT your style and you are probably turned off right away. but thanks for tahan-ing and listening. the more i talk to you, the more i see the me in you! scary!!! it makes it easier when we are on the same ground. at least you understand wat i'm trying to say. but hey, don't read all these in the wrong way ya. ;)

Thanks to Z, who happened to be around and helped me carry the heavy stuffs. gimme a break can... not heavy to you but to me heavy lor. the whole day counting and packing stuff. shift here and there. my back pain liao... but glad u were ard to carry them to the utility room tho it wasnt part of your job scope. :P

thanks to those who are so understanding towards my weaknessess in any way.

thanks for the smses, they make my day.

and thanks for all the little things that helped in one way or another.

and thanks to the instructor and tester for making it so easy for me. i got myself a great birthday present this year. after spending so much money, time and effort... like FINALLY... and they made it happen. so thanks. :)

still... i wish someone was here.

i wish someone was here....

2010-09-19T14:44:00.003+08:00

ok.. been out if sync fro a while. time to rant. so if u dun haf the time, energy or mood, come back another time. hee.

it's been a crazy 2 weeks or so. wif my partner doing an oreo disappearing act. now you see him, now you don't. well thanks man. and of all times, it juz has to be NOW rite? wen we are having lots of events going on and referrals streaming in. at times like this, i just wish that SOMEONE was around. but oh well... no choice, haf to suck it up and handle this alone. but i sure wish someone was around...

haf you ever been in a situation whereby everything that can happen all happen at the same time? i sure have. wif assessment inside, handling screening on the phone, aircon got screwing up, people walking in and the internet's not working. sure i'm a woman. i probably can multi task better than men. but hey, i'm not an octopus! i dun haf 8 arms to handle everything all at the same time!!!! -_- HELPPPPPPPPP!!!!!! i wish someone was here...

She mentioned, "I've never seen you this busy before leh." i haf to second that. i am TIRED. tired tired tiiiiiiirrrreddddddddddd.

hardly had the time to actually sit and rest. no time for fb, not even on my birthday! sigh... really appreciate all the wonderful messages. but apologies for the late replies my friends. my bad. i wish someone was here...

it's crazy trying to work everything out here on my own. it doesnt help that everyone wants their things done, based on their expectations, at their specific time! sigh... oh well.. got to stay strong. sure i can handle it. i wouldn't say "no probs" coz there is a prob. i know i can do it and do it well given my nature. but still i do wish someone was here...

WaT'S WrONg?

2010-09-12T15:54:00.002+08:00

i've been hearing this song over and over again over the radio and i still don't get it. what the heck is wrong wif her? ok la, some people are juz masochistic. i cant say anything abt them but i sure can say abt myself. me no like pain. and for those who know me better, i have a very low threshold of pain. yes, still working on that. sheesh... and lies... i get so turned off by them, instantly. say wat u mean n mean wat u say. otherwise, it takes too much energy to try filtering out the things you say. which is the truth and which are pure lies or jokes. after a while, believe me, i'll be very the malas to layan. if i cant even trust your words, how can i trust anything else. maybe u can say i take things too seriously. but hey, lies ain't jokes to me. they are so not funny lor.

been there. done that. been through worse. like duh of coz i can handle this. well one thing abt pain i haf to say is that it makes one grow stronger and wiser. but that doesn't mean i'm going to sit here, allow you to inflict the pain on me and i have to continue suffering. i'll do wat i haf to do to save myself the pain. unless there's someone else who wld bear it for me. :p ya ya... but who would rite... a girl got to do wat a girl got to do man.

for those who like seeing others suffer, unless they are masochists themselves, go get a life. what goes around comes around. beware of what you do coz u'd never know when they'll slam right back at your face. you'd be lucky if they're not any worse.

Eminem - Love The Way You Lie

Just gonna stand there
And watch me burn
But that's alright
Because I like
And hear me cry
But that's alright
Because I love
The way you lie
I love the way you lie
I love the way you lie

FaiRy TaLe Emo S**T

2010-09-12T15:15:00.006+08:00

Do fairy tales happen in real life? Maybe yes. Maybe no. Perphaps they are just not meant for me.

Emo mode turned on. Thanks to Spence!!! wa lao eh...i din know u are some emo sh*t man. at THAT age?!?!? lol. but i guess u've been through though times. perhaps, you've reached a point where enough is enough. hang in there brudder. you might reached the point with Her. but hey, don't close your door just yet. you'd never know who's walking by. the society doesn't need to lose an eligible bachelor like you! it'll be such a waste! remember, 40s is the new 30s. no fret. ;) and of coz, 30s is the new 20s! haha. fine, i might be living in the Nile. At least i'm not delusional. hehe.

have always liked this song. very the touchy feeling. yes, i admire those who can play the waiting game with me. The longer you can wait, the more smitten i'll be. lol. Insya Allah when the time comes, the time comes. and we'll both be ready. I'll tell you one day. but today is not the day. one day it shall be. Let's see how it'll go from there. ;)

HOWEVER... for those who are doing things to make themselves feel better, pray thee spare me. Spare me the time, energy and agony. I don't have much left.

some smses juz make my day. keep them coming please. no expectations tho. coz then, wen they come through, i'll be pleasantly surprised. :)

Love Me ~ Collin Raye

I read a note my Grandma wrote back in 1923
Grandpa kept it in his coat, and he showed it once to me
He said, "Boy, you might not understand, but a long, long time ago, Grandma's daddy didn't like me none, but I love your Grandma so.

We had this crazy plan to meet and run away together
Get married in the first town we came to and live forever
But nailed to the tree where we were supposed to meet instead
I found this letter, and this is what it said :

"If you get there before I do
Don't give up on me
I'll meet you when my chores are through
I don't know how long I'll be

But I'm not gonna let you down
Darling wait and see
And between now and then
Til I see you again

I'll be loving you
Love, Me."

I read those words just hours before my Grandma passed away
In the doorway of the church where me and Grandpa stopped to pray
I know I've never seen him cry in all my fifteen years
But as he said these words to her, his eyes fill up with tears

"If you get there before I do
Don't give up on me
I'll meet you when my chores are through
I don't know how long I'll be

But I'm not gonna let you down
Darling wait and see
And between now and then
Til I see you again

I'll be loving you
Love, Me."

Let'S CeLEbrAte No?

2010-09-09T22:33:00.002+08:00

my jinx when it comes to comp is still here to stay. right fr the start of my worklife here till today. fr changing of password, to cannot access this and that... and many more. think ITD scared of me liao. probably cursing and swearing everytime they hear my name. most recently, a super annoying quiz kept popping up in my fb profile. couldnt take it anymore. changed password. didn't work. decided to deactivate my account for a while. den what happened? now i can reactivate it. y? they cant recognise my email. haizzzzzzzzzz... y am i not surprised that this juz has to happen to ME. perhaps some other people too. but surely it has to be ME! y oh y cant comp n i just go together? haizzzzzzzzzz...

anyway, the holy month has juz gone by. no mood to celebrate. is there anything to celebrate? sure i fasted. but could haf done more. much much more. but work commitments dun allow me to do so. haizzzzzzzzz. still, i love my job. i really do. and i thank Allah for it. juz wished i could take the evenings off. so it doesnt feel like raya. never even go to geylang. noone to go wif. too lazy to go too. dun even haf mood to do the yearly spring cleaning. no mood. dowan to do. penat. letih. malas.

ok fine, not going to be a wet blanket for the rest of my bros and sis in Islam. so here's wishing all Muslims a very Selamat Hari Raya. Maaf zahir and batin for all my wrong doings in every possible way. Please also halalkan segala yang termakan dan terminum. Semoga ibadat kita diterima Allah dan kita direstuinya selalu. :)

I woULd iF i CouLd

2010-08-31T00:03:00.003+08:00

If I Could Tell You - WH Auden

Time will say nothing but I told you so,
Time only knows the price we have to pay;
If I could tell you I would let you know.

If we should weep when clowns put on their show,
If we should stumble when musicians play,
Time will say nothing but I told you so.

There are no fortunes to be told, although,
Because I love you more than I can say,
If I could tell you I would let you know.

The winds must come from somewhere when they blow,
There must be reasons why the leaves decay;
Time will say nothing but I told you so.

Perhaps the roses really want to grow,
The vision seriously intends to stay;
If I could tell you I would let you know.

Suppose the lions all get up and go,
And all the brooks and soldiers run away?
Will time say nothing but I told you so?
If I could tell you I would let you know.

fLy BuTTeRFLy

2010-08-20T17:26:00.006+08:00

I guess if it's meant to be, it's meant to be. Time will tell. Who knows what the future brings.

Butterfly - Mariah Carey

ooh ooh
When you love someone so deeply
They become your life
It's easy to succumb to overwhelming fears inside
Blindly I imagined I could
Keep you under glass
Now I understand to hold you
I must open up my hands and watch you rise

*Chorus
Spread you wings and prepare to fly
For you have become a butterfly (Oooh)
Fly abandonedly into the sun
If you should return to me
We truly were meant to be,
so spread your wings and fly
Butterfly

I have learned that beauty
Has to flourish in the light
Wild horses run unbridled
Or their spirit dies
You have given me the courage
To be all that I
And I truly feel your heart will
Lead you back to me when you're
Ready to land

*Chorus

I can't pretend these tears
Aren't overflowing steadily
I can't prevent this hurt from
Almost overtaking me
But I will stand and say goodbye (stand and say goodbye)

For you'll never be mine

Until you know the way it feels to fly

*Chorus

Spread your wings and prepare to fly
For you have become a butterfly
Fly abandonedly into the sun
If you should return to me
We truly were meant to be (you and I)
So spread your wings and fly (spread your wings and fly)
Butterfly
So flutter through the sky
Butterfly
Fly
Spread your wings and fly
Butterfly.

MuSIc 4 MotHErS AWaItINg JOy

2010-08-14T22:17:00.005+08:00

"Music for Mothers Awaiting Joy" that was the title of the album where you can find the following song. Heard it first in Glee. well, it's a way of breaking the news of a shot gun. but to happily married mothers-to-be out there, Hubbies! do dedicate this to your loving wives. :)

(you're) Having My Baby- Paul Anka

Having my baby
what a lovely way of saying
How much you love me.
Having my baby
what a lovely way of saying
What you're think
I can see it your face is glowing

I can see it in your eyes.
I'm happy knowin' that you're having my baby.
You're the woman I love and I love what it's doin' to you.
Having my baby
you're a woman in love and I love
What's goin' through you.
The need inside you
I see it showin'
Oh
the seed inside you
baby
do you feel it growin'
Are you happy in knowin' that you're having my baby?

I'm a woman in love and I love
What it's doin' to me.
Having my baby.
I'm a woman in love and I love
What's goin' through me.

Didn't have to keep it
wouldn't put you through it.
You could have swept it from your life
But you wouldn't do it
no
you wouldn't do it.
And you're having my baby.

I'm a woman in love and I love

I'll StAnD By YOu

2010-08-14T22:00:00.002+08:00

Was watching Glee on a wednesday night as usual. i really like the way messages were communicated thru songs. let's juz say it's a gentler way. yes, please be gentle. cos wen u know that the message is going to hurt, there're more than enough reasons to be nice and help reduce the pain. that's teh least that you could do. thru songs is one of the ways i guess. even if you don't sing well, at least do a dedication.

been crying again lately. for various reasons. at times, i don't even know why. this emo thing has hit me lately. i guess it comes and goes as and wen i go thru phases in life. or perhaps, im juz not that much of a head person anymore. probably comes with age?

at times like this, i wish someone wld dedicate this song to me:

I'll Stand By You - The Pretenders

Oh, why you look so sad?
Tears are in your eyes
Come on and come to me now.
Don't be ashamed to cry,
let me see you through
Cause I've seen the dark side too.
When the night falls on you,
you don't know what to do,
Nothing you confess could make me love you less

I'll stand by you,
I'll stand by you,
won't let nobody hurt you,
I'll stand by you.

So, if you're mad get mad,
don't hold it all inside,
Come on and talk to me now.
And hey, what you got to hide?
I get angry too
But I'm alot like you.
When you're standing at the crossroads,
don't know which path to choose,
Let me come along,
cause even if your wrong

I'll stand by you,
I'll stand by you,
won't let nobody hurt you,
I'll stand by you.
Take me into your darkest hour,
and I'll never desert you.
I'll stand by you.

And when, when the night falls on you baby,
you're feeling all alone,
You won't be on your own,
I'll stand by you.
I'll stand by you
I'll stand by you,
won't let nobody hurt you.
I'll stand by you
Take me in into your darkest hour
and I'll never desert you
I'll stand by you.

Anyone out there?

Look Away

2010-08-09T20:08:00.004+08:00

Look Away - Chicago

When you called me up this morning,
told me 'bout the new love you found,
I said "I'm happy for you,
I'm really happy for you."
Found someone else,
I guess I won't be coming 'round.
I guess it's over, baby;
it's really over, baby, whoa...
And from what you said
I know you've gotten over me;
it'll never be the way it used to be.
So if it's gotta be this way,
don't worry, baby,
I can take the news okay.

But if you see me walking by,
and the tears are in my eyes,
look away, baby, look away.
If we meet on the streets someday,
and I don't know what to say
look away, baby, look away.
Don't look at me;
I don't want you to see me this way.

When we both agreed as lovers,
we were better off as friends,
that's how it had to be,
yeah, that's how it had to be.
I tell you I'm fine
but sometimes I just pretend;
wish you were holding me,
wish you were still holding me,
whoa... I just never thought,
that I would be replaced so soon
I wasn't prepared to hear those words from you.
I know I wanted to be free;
yeah, baby, this is how we wanted it to be.

But if you see me walking by,
and the tears are in my eyes,
look away, baby, look away.
If we meet on the streets someday,
and I don't know what to say
look away, baby, look away.
Don't look at me;
I don't want you to see me this way.
[Repeat chorus 2x]

When you called me up this morning,
told me 'bout the new love you found.
I said "I'm happy for you,
I'm really happy for you."

AishITeRu

2010-06-20T20:42:00.006+08:00

I'm so hooked to this song rite now. like always, i tend to relate my travels to a song this time round, see below. Nor was so semangat, borrowed cd to listen and wrote down the lyrics for us. tu la.. at first ketawakan orang n said dun like. after that, get so hooked to it. lol. familiarity can induce likeness i guess. hehe. ni untuk sesiapa yg orang tersayang tiada disisi. cheh... melayu kot. dah brapa hari kat indon pun masih CMI. sampai kena sindir... ish!

Aishiteru - Zivilia

Menunggu sesuatu yang sangat menyebalkan bagiku
Saat ku harus bersabar dan trus bersabar
Menantikan kehadiran dirimu
Entah sampai kapan aku harus menunggu

Sesuatu yang sangat sulit tuk kujalani
Hidup dalam kesendirian sepi tanpamu
Kadang kuberpikir cari penggantimu
Saat kau jauh disana

[*]
Walau raga kita terpisah jauh
Namun hati kita selalu dekat
Bila kau rindu pejamkan matamu
Dan rasakan a a a aku

[**]
Kekuatan cinta kita takkan pernah rapuh
Terhapus ruang dan waktu
Percayakan kesetiaan ini
Pada ketulusan a a ai aishiteru

Gelisah sesaat saja tiada kabarmu kucuriga
Entah penantianku takkan sia-sia
Dan berikan satu jawaban pasti
Entah sampai kapan aku harus bertahan

Saat kau jauh disana rasa cemburu
Merasuk kedalam pikiranku melayang
Tak tentu arah tentang dirimu
Apakah sama yang kau rasakan

Back to [*][**]

Satu sendiri pikiran melayang terbang
Perasaan resah gelisah
Jalani kenyataan hidup tanpa gairah
Owu..wo..o..

Lupakan segala obsesi dan ambisimu
Akhiri semuanya cukup sampai disini
Dan buktikan pengorbanan cintamu untukku
Kumohon kau kembali

Kimita tuokukitemo
Kiminoi shuaguaratala
Shiniteruyo shiniteruyo

Back to [*][**]

Wo wo wo..
Wo wo wo..a a ai aishiteru

For My FreNZzzZ

2010-06-11T23:05:00.002+08:00

b4 i gif this to them, lemme post it up here for juz to share...

To icequeen:

Ten Rules for a Happy Marriage

1. Never both be angry at the same time.
2. Never yell at each other unless the house is on fire.
3. If one of you has to win an arguement, let it be your mate.
4. If you must criticize, do it lovingly.
5. Never bring up mistakes of the past.
6. Neglect the whole world rather than each other.
7. Never go to sleep with an argument unsettled.
8. At least once every day say a kind or complimentary word to your life partner.
9. When you have done something wrong, admit it and ask for forgiveness.
10. Remember it takes two to make a quarrel.
~ advice from a couple who reached their 50th anniversary and successfully made their marriage a promise for life.

To PS:
And nwo here's my secret, a very simple secret. It is only with the heart that one can see rightly. What is essential is invisible to the eye.
~ The Little Prince

To Hali:
Life is beautiful.
Dance like no one is watching.
Love like you will never get hurt.
Sing like no one is listening.
Live like it's heaven on earth.
Enjoy this day.

ShoPPinG = InVEStMENt

2010-05-28T13:11:00.002+08:00

You're a wise investment shopper

You are a smart shopper who sees your purchases as an investment. Which is why you won't sacrifice quality for low price -- you're willing to fork out more on well-made pieces such as a well-tailored dress or a pair of comfy leather heels because you know they go a long way.

That doesn't mean you're a spendthrift, because you know exactly what's worth splurging and what isn't. For example, you won't be easily seduced into buying things you don't need -- even if they're on sale. But if your favorite beauty products are marked down, you'd stock a couple of bottles to take advantage of the discount.

Thanks to your savvy shopping strategy, you own an impressive wardrobe without breaking the bank!

oh well, call it watever u want... it's the GSS! but sigh... muz check account... cannot splurge... but it's ok! coz Allah is kind and I'm thankful for the rezeki that He gave to me. :)

U MeLAyu?

2010-05-14T20:31:00.003+08:00

last week, i went to an indian rest at little india wif az. this waiter came up and started speaking to me in malay. he spoke so fast, i couldn't catch wat he was saying! da la my melayu ni power sangat... i was like thinking.. pak cik.. if wanna speak malay oso, at least slow down ah. and so.. as much as i tried to speak in malay while using some english words... after a while.. he asked, "Awak Melayu tak? Awak Melayu kan? Apersal tak cakap Melayu?" I'm like... pak cik! saya melayu celup lah! bagi lah discount sikit... sheesh... so technically, as long as i know 1/2, in fact 1/4 of teh malay language, i should be alright. aaaaaaaaahahahhahaaaaaa... the excuses i make for myself. :P

ok ok. i'm bad at the language. i admit. and maybe i should work harder to bring honour to the malay community. melayu boleh! Takkan melayu hilang di dunia! oh well...maybe i'm a disgrace. wateva!

so today, i went there again wif mummy. this time, wen he asked, "Melayu?" I said, "Cina! my mother cina!" den he took a good look at my mother. at first he said... "Bukan cina la". den after a while i think he was convinced. lol. *Shakes head.

it was a pretty "strange" conversation over lunch i muz say. i dun usually do this wif my mum. i was saying that one of my gd frens is getting married tmr. and she asked me abt me and Him. i said truthfully, if it's wif Him, 5 yrs. if not, i dunno. she was like.. 5 yrs ah. wah! very long... But i think she really likes Him. but i think she go the hint. she even said that if it doesnt work out, it's His loss. I was like ... wa lao say until like dat. den she cont by saying... "coz it's not easy to find a good mother-in-law like me." I burst into laughter. cheh... mother mother... she say He's a nice boy, haf to go through a lot in life and she sayang Him. lol. again... mother mother...

den here comes the next part... i was telling her that one of my frens divorced recently. den she like go in to "kancheong" mode. she said, "It's ok if you marry late. as long as you dun get a divorce. so it's ok." u see how my mother sayang Him!

oh well... mummy's views aside, for now... let's juz take a choo choo train ride... slow and steady... and see how it goes... no expectations = no disappointments. no more roller coaster please!

err... are u actually managing my finances for me?!?!??! AAAAAAAHAHAHHAHAAAAA. feels like u are my manager! well i'll leave the negotiating to u den since u are the biz guy anyway. watever it is, the best deal sounds goood... at the end of the day, juz gimme the best that u can get ok. lol. i'm actually trusting a friend wif this like 100% and juz going wif the flow... am i for real!?!??! actually, i'm juz plain lazy :P

If I wAit ...

2010-05-11T14:06:00.005+08:00

i tot... ok...maybe today will be a gd day. i shall make the call today. but u know wat. that sms, wth was tat all abt sia. i was like HUH? wat makes u or her think that i'll do that? y suddenly i become a suspect? wat did i do this time? do i even deserve that? such an accusing tone. sheesh... *rolls eyes.

so i guess today is not the day. today is not a gd day. i shall let today pass... perhaps it wld be better if i wait... wait for a better day.

*takes a deep breath. ergh!!!!! it's coming back. it always comes back when such things happen. it's a biological rxn i guess. the way it handles the stress. i'm feeling sick. sick in the stomach. again. ergh! i might juz throw everything up. i'm trying to keep it down. help!

in the mean time, i shalll wait...

Crying In The Rain ~ A-ha

I'll never let you see

The way my broken heart is hurting me

I've got my pride and I know how to hide

All the sorrow and pain

I'll do my crying in the rain

If I wait for cloudy skies

You won't know the rain from the tears in my eyes

You'll never know that I still love you

So though the heartaches remain

I'll do my crying in the rain

Raindrops falling from heaven

Will never wash away my misery

But since we're not together

I'll wait for stormy weather

To hide these tears I hope you'll never see

Someday when my crying's done

I'm gonna wear a smile and walk in the sun

I may be a fool

But till then, darling, you'll never see me complain

I'll do my crying in the rain

oh well... it doesn't help with such erratic weather nowadays. sigh...

BeCOz OF YoU

2010-05-09T17:10:00.003+08:00

Because Of You- Kelly Clarkson

I will not make the same mistakes that you did
I will not let myself
Cause my heart so much misery
I will not break the way you did,
You fell so hard
I've learned the hard way
To never let it get that far

Because of you
I never stray too far from the sidewalk
Because of you
I learned to play on the safe side so I don't get hurt
Because of you
I find it hard to trust not only me, but everyone around me
Because of you
I am afraid

I lose my way
And it's not too long before you point it out
I cannot cry
Because I know that's weakness in your eyes
I'm forced to fake
A smile, a laugh everyday of my life
My heart can't possibly break
When it wasn't even whole to start with

Because of you
I never stray too far from the sidewalk
Because of you
I learned to play on the safe side so I don't get hurt
Because of you
I find it hard to trust not only me, but everyone around me
Because of you
I am afraid

I watched you die
I heard you cry every night in your sleep
I was so young
You should have known better than to lean on me
You never thought of anyone else
You just saw your pain
And now I cry in the middle of the night
For the same damn thing

Because of you
I never stray too far from the sidewalk
Because of you
I learned to play on the safe side so I don't get hurt
Because of you
I try my hardest just to forget everything
Because of you
I don't know how to let anyone else in

Because of you
I'm ashamed of my life because it's empty
Because of you
I am afraid

Because of you
Because of you

sigh... i dunno lah... this whole emo thing is juz sooo tiring. im juz too tired to think or argue anymore. is this working out? well i'm trying my best. really i am. but i guess sometimes, my best is just not good enough. not in your eyes. and i'm tired. i'm tired of trying to be the best that i can be and yet still feel all the heartache. yes, I HATE HER. the very sound of her name juz irks the living hell out of me. so, i should call her she-who-shall-not-be-named. hmm.. sounds like a harry potter character, but it sounds better to my ears. u can say watever u wanna say la, i still feel that way. ya ya ya ya ya.. u can say it's me. well.. it was HER in the 1st place. u know.. people should juz stay away fr what is not theirs. coz feeling sorry after dat juz dun work. it's like driving a car over u on purpose, after the injured person haf to go thru operation and all, u say, oh, i'm sorry. like... hello... do already den say sorry ah. i say, think before u do it ok. coz it hurts. but oh well, what goes ard comes ard.

so is it me or it is me? different perspective. depends on which viewpoint u r looking at. ok, so much of pointing fingers... so... here goes...

i'm sorry for screaming,

i'm sorry for being the way i am,

im sorry for being incomplete,

im sorry for being imperfect,

im sorry for not being able understanding completely,

im sorry for not being there all the time,

im sorry for being annoying,

im sorry for being so difficult,

im sorry for not being able to chill,

im sorry for being such an inconvenience,

im sorry for being so bothersome in your life,

i guess, im juz sorry for being me.

so perhaps, this me should juz go and not bother you any longer. den perhaps, life would be better for YOU.

CLAsSIC

2010-05-09T16:40:00.002+08:00

She said, "Why are u doing this again? You are doing this for a MEAL?! From ******?!" LOL. that was CLASSIC! i juz cant help remembering that expression. it was sooooooooo farnieeeeee. LOL. i think the next line would probably be, "GOODNESS! WHYYYYYY????" LOL. before that could come out, i was already giving a sheepish smile. LOL. *shakes head. yah yah yah yah yah... i dunno okie. i dunno why. it has been like this for the past 10 years or so. the things i do... MADNESS!

tho i haf His no., i never tot i wld actually contact Him personally. at least the last time, u asked for me but yes, i would agree it'll be too much of me to ask u to contact Him over this matter. so yes... i did it. what could the worst outcome be right? the most He'll juz say that He's not interested. anyway, i'm not counting on meeting up wif Him anytime soon. for a cheap thrill ride (which came at a good time), i would haf called Him directly. but then, after pondering for a while, better not let emotions get in the way. let's sms n test water 1st. at least i'll save myself from some embarrassment and rejection if any. lol.

so she asked me who this person is. i said he's the male version of me. ok well, i hafn't talked abt this for some time now. anyway, not in terms of looks, but character and personality. pretty interesting eh, finding some1 who's like u. it's like talking to "yourself". but somehow, it's scary. so she said, "I think u guys can be good friends." I was like "hmm..." *raise eyebrow. well, given the history behind it all, highly unlikely. then She said, "well, at least there's some1 you can do the things u like with."coming from Her, that's quite a shock. i was like... "ya hor..." except for canoeing and running. but... but... but... no lah. i think it'll still be awkward. lol.

so yes... i'm still waiting for a reply. if there isnt, well... i guess it's juz not meant to be. the ball is in His court.

ShoCk TheRApY

2010-05-08T14:54:00.002+08:00

some shock therapy would to some good at times. but at 2 am in the morn, i'd say thanks for waking me up to do my assignment! sheesh... i din expect Him to know him. ok, this might get confusing but, ergh... juz thinking abt him (2nd him) makes me shrug my shoulders. well, i knew that he knows some of my frens, but i din know he knew Him. i was randomly looking at his photos when i saw His foto and i actually blurted out his name. as she would say, terperanjat bobo! and at the time when i'll need her help to get to Him. Well having 2 Lorynn(s) around can be quite fun rite rite? or perhaps awkward. Hmm...

oh yes, and this, tho it might have come as a shock, i wanna say,

If ever (or i maybe should say WHEN) a day comes when you find a better person than me, juz remember that what i gave you is the best of what i have and what i am to you is the best that i could be.

EnoUGH?

2010-05-06T12:36:00.002+08:00

sigh... i'm tired. tired, tired, tired... no, it's not abt studies this time. i'm like... hai... tired. when do you tell yourself enough is enough? do u know that enough is enough when u get to that point in time? sigh...

i did say that 1 mth thing like don't work on me rite? i dunno la... it feels like going back to those months prior to it... macam... sigh... sakit hati pun ada. malas pun ada. want to say live and let live, move on... den dun keep bringing it back ah. if keep bringing it back, how to move on rite. den if everytime oso sakit hati, i dun think that's the solution to it. u can say, oh, i dun haf to see wat. while it might be the case of wat u dun know u dun miss. but is ignorance really a bliss? it's coz of ignorance in the 1st place that things escalate to an unbearable level sometimes.

maybe it's me? fine it's me then. watever la eh. u can put the blame on me if it makes u feel any better. wat is all these worth again? is it even worth it or not? sigh... i'm juz tired. as i've said, to go back to those months, somehow, that quiet 1 mth seems more serene. shhh.... perhaps, i was juz getting used to it, away from arguments, away from benda2 yg sakitkan hati.

are u really happy wif this?

Weeeeeeeeeeeeeeee.....

2010-05-05T14:37:00.004+08:00

we had such a fun time on sun, rolling on the grass (well ok, i was the only one who did it), and picniking on the grass, all under a black and white roof. lol. minah minah... u r still as funny as ever. but hey, it's a nice place. i like the way u did it up. and those little cups and saucers. :)

it's been a whole since i met some of them. it was fun fun fun. all the updates a.k.a. gossips! and for the 1st time, i played wii! it was fun. but i think it was funnier than fun. lol. u c teachers turning into kids all over again. and i can imagine those guys playing wii on the floating kelong. mesti riuh rendah! wif the place bobbing up and down, it's dangerous! lol. but once u r into the game, nothing else matters! i muz say it was a work out man. but good, coz i need to burn off the calories. like real eh. lol. rabbids! after that, minah introduced monopoly deal... i looked at her, she look at me, i said, can we play wii instead? lol. thinking game... alamak... maybe next time ah. i'm the no-brainer game type ah. too lazy to think so much at that point in time. hee.

the next day, my arms hurt. that's how lazy n weak i've become! lack of exercise. juz bumming ard at home. sheesh... m suppose to study and all. but wat am i doing? PROCRASTINATING AGAIN. heh... maybe i should get a wii too. so i can exercise at home while playing. hehe. but i guess it's no fun playing alone. that's y she was so excited to haf playmates ard. *smiles and shakes head.

well, it oso got me thinking... are the youth nowadays more violent? i wont be surprised if they are and wii is one of the reasons y. the act of beating up a poor rabbid in the name of a game might sound fun and harmless. but with wii, the player actually performs the act physically in with the sole motive of hitting the rabbid. hmm... well, it's only a game and a cute little rabbid. but wat if we were to replace the controller wif a sword? or a baton? the act of hitting is real enough to cause hurt in real life. while attitudes can lead to behaviour, likewise, behaviour can lead to attitudes. so what kind of attitudes do these behaviour lead to then? scary eh... we are adults, so i'd say we are probably more sensible. but kids? teenagers? hmm.. sth to think abt. in the last crime watch, an 18 yr old boy committed murder and the mastermind is a 16 yr old girl. sheesh...

and i'm not surprise y our kids dun engage in outdoor activities nowadays. y do we need to go to a tennis court when we can do it right in front of our tv sets, regardless day or night, rain or shine.

I'M An ARtiSaN... sO it SAyS

2010-04-30T17:33:00.006+08:00

Your Keirsey Temperament Sorter Results indicates that your personality type is that of the

ARTISAN

Artisans are the temperament with a natural ability to excel in any of the arts, not only the fine arts such as painting and sculpting, or the performing arts such as music, theater, and dance, but also the athletic, military, political, mechanical, and industrial arts, as well as the "art of the deal" in business."

Artisans are most at home in the real world of solid objects that can be made and manipulated, and of real-life events that can be experienced in the here and now. Artisans have exceptionally keen senses, and love working with their hands. They seem right at home with tools, instruments, and vehicles of all kinds, and their actions are usually aimed at getting them where they want to go, and as quickly as possible. Thus Artisans will strike off boldly down roads that others might consider risky or impossible, doing whatever it takes, rules or no rules, to accomplish their goals. This devil-may-care attitude also gives the Artisans a winning way with people, and they are often irresistibly charming with family, friends, and co-workers.

Artisans want to be where the action is; they seek out adventure and show a constant hunger for pleasure and stimulation. They believe that variety is the spice of life, and that doing things that aren't fun or exciting is a waste of time. Artisans are impulsive, adaptable, competitive, and

believe the next throw of the dice will be the lucky one. They can also be generous to a fault, always ready to share with their friends from the bounty of life. Above all, Artisans need to be free to do what they wish, when they wish. They resist being tied or bound or confined or obligated; they would rather not wait, or save, or store, or live for tomorrow. In the Artisan view, today must be enjoyed, for tomorrow may never come.

There are many Artisans, perhaps 30 to 35 percent of the population, which is good, because they create much of the beauty, grace, fun, and excitement the rest of us enjoy in life.

Artisans at Work

Artisans seek to make an impact upon the organizations where they work and upon society at large. Their alertness to current realities, the joy they take in variation, and their tendency to follow their instincts to 'what works' make them good troubleshooters and negotiators, talented performers and craftspeople and excellent leaders in all kinds of emergencies and chaotic situations.

On the job, you are apt to have an extraordinary memory for facts and details, as well as superior powers of observation. Ideally, the work you choose will make use of these vast databanks of knowledge and impressions. In the workplace, you can be excited by the chance to capitalize on opportunities others don’t perceive, and applying information to present or emerging challenges.

RoSe FroM The LitTLe PRInCE

2010-04-28T21:19:00.003+08:00

since i was talking abt roses, here are some quotes fr the book titled The Little Prince by Antoine de Saint-Exupery. I love this book... such a meaningful story. again, read between the lines.

Pg 25 -

Flowers are weak, they are naive. They reassure themselves as best as they can. They think they are being frightening with their thorns.

Pg 71 -

Go and look at your roses again. You will understnad that yours is after all, unique in the world.

Pg 71&72 -

You are nothing like my rose. As yet, you are nothing at all. Nobody has tamed you, and you have tamed nobody.

Pg 72 -

you can only see things clearly with your heart. What is essential is invisible to the eye.

It is the time you have wasted on your rose that makes you rose so important.

You become responsible, for ever, for what you have tamed. You are responsible for your rose.

Pg 76 -

The stars are beautiful, because of a flower that cannot be seen.

Pg 77 -

What affects me so strongly about this sleeping price is his loyalty to a flower, to the image of a rose, which shines inside him like a flame of a lamp, even as he sleeps...

And I felt him to be more fragile still. A leamp needs to be shielded with care: the nearest puff of wind can blow it out.

Pg 79 -

people grow five thousand roses in one garden-and still they do not find what they are looking for.

Yet what they are looking for can be found in a single rose, or a handful of water.

Pg 81 -

you run the risk of a few tears when you allow yourself to be tamed...

Pg 85 -

If you love a flower that lives on a star, it is sweet to look up at the night sky. All the stars are in bloom.

Pg 88 -

You know - my flower... I am responsible for her! And she is so weak! She is so naive! She has four tiny little thorns to protect her against the world.

A fren told me: Love = Devotion + Responsibility. Interesting perspective. i'd like to think abt it that way too.

TrEAt ME LiKe A ROSe

2010-04-27T23:21:00.006+08:00

on a lighter note fr the previous post, i remembered singing this for one of my frens years ago. ok, i cant sing well but the meaning is good. he was wondering what he could have done to win his then gf back. what he could have done better. so i sang him this song. well, most of us girls (including yours truly of coz) would like to be treated like a rose. so guys, catch the hint. ;)

Like a Rose - A1

and as i look into your eyes
i see an angel in disguise
sent from god above
for me to loveto hold and idolise

and as i hold your body near
i'll see this month through to a year
and then forever on
til life is gone
i'll keep your loving near

and now i've finally found my way
to lead me down this lonely road
all i have to do
is follow you
to lighten off my load

you treat me like a rose
you give me room to grow
you shone the light of love on me
and gave me air so i can breathe
you open doors that close
in a world where anything goes
you give me strength so i stand tall
within this bed of earth
just like a rose

and when i feel like hope is gone
you give me strength to carry on
each time i look at you
there's something new
to keep our loving strong

i hear you whisper in my ear
all of the words i long to hear
of how you'll always be
here next to me
to wipe away my tears

and now i've finally found my way
to lead me down this lonely road
all i have to do
is follow you
to lighten off my load

you treat me like a rose
you give me room to grow
you shone the light of love on me
and gave me air so i can breathe
you opened doors i closed
in a world where anything goes
you give me strength so i stand tall
within this bed of earth
just like a rose

and though the seasons change
our love remains the same
you face the thunder
when the sunshine turns to rain
just like a rose

you treat me like a rose
you give me room to grow
you shone the light of love on me
and gave me air so i can breathe
you opened doors i closed
in a world where anything goes
you give me strength so i stand tall
within this bed of earth
just like a rose

you give me strength so i stand tall
within this bed of earth
just like a rose

My PrEtTy RoSe TrEe

2010-04-27T21:19:00.004+08:00

This is going to be rather interesting. If you get it, u get it, if you don't well, read harder. lol. read between the lines. think of the imagery. reminds me of mrs teo during lit class. most of the time, we simply dun understand wat she's trying to say as she related the imagery to things which we never thought of. a single word like "red" and she can go on and on and on and on leaving us going "huh? got meh?". well, blake din really make sense den. but now, i'm glad i know this guy by the name of william blake. presenting My Pretty Rose Tree from Willam Blake's collection of Songs of Experience.

My Pretty Rose Tree ~William Blake

A flower was offered to me,
Such a flower as May never bore;
But I said "I've a pretty rose tree,"
And I passed the sweet flower o'er.

Then I went to my pretty rose tree,
To tend her by day and by night;
But my rose turned away with jealousy,
And her thorns were my only delight.

ah... yes... i see smiles. not that difficult to understand. well...

a flower offered herself, according to this poem a really pretty and unique one. but our fren said he has a pretty rose tree so passed the flower over (how nice). poor flower eh. (yeah rite. offering herself even tho she knows he has a rose tree? bluegh! go find someone else.)

when he went back to his rose tree and told her abt it (in contrast to her finding out for herself), trying to be extra nice (not sure if it's cos of guilt or juz being nice generally), obviously the rose tree got pissed wif jealousy and shows off her thorns as a form of defense.

sth else that's missing fr blake's poem, ok, he meant it the way it was. but i was juz thinking, wat if the guy didn't really pass the rose over? or maybe he did. but the rose choose to remain closeby (and that's juz blardy annoying) and he "can't help" (so he says) having the "extra" company or glancing at her fr the distance or juz walking by her. ah... now u c the reason y the rose tree is pissed? is it her fault when he continues to do it, being that popular friendly and helpful boy towards the rose? is it her fault to be extra cautious especially when she's annoyingly nearby? let's take a while to think about it.

some might say, the rose tree dun trust the guy. others might say, no self-confidence. a handful might say inferiority complex. or juz insecurity. like duh! u try being in this position and u tell me if u get insecured. is it the tree's fault? everyone needs to fend for themselves when they are put in a vulnerable situation. it's an animal instinct.

jealousy? initially yes. now, i would say it's a matter or integrity, sincerity and honour - in terms of words and acts. oh well...upholding them might be a challenge to some. wat about u?

Don't go breaking my

2010-04-25T20:57:00.003+08:00

Was watching chicken little. So small and CUTEEEEEEE... adn ugly duckling is kinda charming. lol. well, looks are just superficial.

but then again, once someone asked us, what's a "no no" to us. we said mats! (with all due respect to all mats in the world) den he asked, wat if the mat has a good heart? and we said... still... it's a mat. so much for "looks are superficial". heeeee... however, i do know of frens who are really nice tho some might not find them good-looking. :)

anyway... was just thinking how this "time out" thing works. wat are we supposed to do again? wat i tot was... to somehow do a reflection of what happened, how it could be handled, and how things are going to be like in the future. am i getting this right? so... does that oso mean that during this window period we can like do watever we want and they cannot be used against us in the future?

i've said it b4 and i'm saying this again, somehow, i don't understand how this works. and it doesn't work for me. but if it works for u... all i've got to say is, watever that works for u la eh. coz fr wat i c, there's not much difference anyway. perhaps u still dun get where i'm coming fr. or isit i don;t get where u are coming fr. ok la.. too malas to think too much abt it liao. wat will be will be.

In the meantime,

Today is a brand new day. ~ Chicken Little :)

I dunno how this song is related to the show, but i juz wanna relate the message to Him. Y? Coz i don't wanna go through it again.

Don't go breaking my Heart

Don't go breaking my heart
I couldn't if I tried
Oh honey if I get restless
Baby you're not that kind

So don't go breaking my heart
You take the weight off of me
Oh honey when you knock on my door
I gave you my key

Nobody knows it
When I was down
I was your clown

Nobody knows it
Right from the start
Gave you my heart
Gave you my heart

So don't go breaking my heart
I won't go breaking your heart
Oh yeah
Don't go breaking my heart

And nobody told us
'Cause nobody showed us
And now it's up to us baby
I think we can make it

So don't misunderstand me
You put the light in my life
Oh you put the sparks to the flame
I've got your heart in my sights

Nobody knows it
When I was down
I was your clown

Nobody knows it
Nobody knows it
Right from the start
I gave you my heart
Gave you my heart
Oh you gave it

Don't go breaking my heart
I won't go breaking your heart
Don't go breaking my heart

Nobody knows it
When I was down
I was your clown

Right from the start
Gave you my heart
Gave you my heart
Oh no baby don't go

Don't go breaking my heart
I won't go breaking your heart
Don't go breaking my
Don't go breaking my
I won't go breaking your heart

Don't go breaking my heart
Don't go breaking my
I won't go breaking your heart
Don't go breaking my
Don't go breaking my
I won't go breaking your heart
Don't go breaking my
Don't go breaking my

PsyChoLOGy LEsSon - Stress

2010-04-25T17:39:00.011+08:00

alright... let's start wif a psyc lesson. *takes out my psyc books. well... since my brain haf gone on an overdrive for the past week, wats a little blog entry compared to 15oo words essays. ;) hopefully readers will understand. i'll try to make it easy, and well.. readers, u can try and fit it into your stressful situation. :)

According to Coon and Mitterer (2009), "stress is the mental and physical condition that occurs when we adjust or adpat to the environment" and "a stessor is a condition or event that challenges or threatens a person" (p. 463-464). While short-term stresses can be uncomfortable, long term ones are totally different (Coon & Mitterer, 2009).

Therefore, when there's a change in environment or situation, you get to experience stress, mentally and physically. This is due to the stressor which intimidates you based on your current condition, or if i might say, "comfort zone". While it's manageable to handle stress in the short run, continued expose to stress can lead to graver conditions in the long run.

Basically, stress depends on your personal outlook at the situation. While some people might find it distressinsg (like me in my case), it gives others a thrill, also called eustress. So, if you perceive a situation to be a threat, then a stress reaction automatically follows (Folkman & Moskowitz, 2004; Lazarys, 1991 cited from Coon & Mitterer, 2009). However, a threat is about control. If you think you can't control a situation, then it's threatening. If you think you can, then it's not, and thus not stressful. Idea is, you've got to be in control! Take charge! There are things that you can control and there are things that you cant. For the latter, throw them out of the window and don't bother. Focus on controlling the former.

Now let's move on to handling threats or stress. To cope with emotions, we can use the emotion-focused coping method and basically, control our emotions. To cope with the situation, we use the problem-focused coping method and try to mange or correct the situation itself. Sometimes, both methods are used concurrently (Coon & Mitterer, 2009). Personally, one efficient way is to, REMOVE THE STRESSORS. Den both emotions and and situations are in check. ;) However, sometimes that is easier said than done right? For instance, how do you remove an irritating person from the face of the earth?

Let me now introduce you to the diathesis-stress model (ok, it's actually for extreme cases of disorder). According to this model, "individuals inherit tendencies to express certain traits of behaviors, which may then be activated under conditions of stress" (Barlow & Durand, 2009). Perhaps this is my B****Y self. hehe. Anyway, i'm juz using this as an oversimplified version of handling stress. Simply put, metaphorically, each of us have a glass with a certain limit to the amount of water (stress) we can fill (handle). Some of us can handle more, while others are more vulnerable due to many different reasons. As long as the water (stress) is below the limit, we are alright. But beyond that, a disorder will surface.

So, it is imparative to say that we should try, as much as possible, to keep the stress level below that limit before we drive ourselves crazy by the situation. You can try methods stated in the second paragraph. Well, there are other methods of coz, whatever that works for you.

Right now, regarding this whole matter, my glass is filled up till my limit line. I'd have to say, i would have tolerated a lot of shit in the past. But the stressor juz brought it up the the highest level. Therefore, unless i get to bring the level down, it's definately not a healthy sign, even after all this time. Any events that poses a threat to me will mean that it'll go beyond the limit and i'll juz go "crazy" again. So i'd say, I don't wanna tolerate any more shit from this whole fiasco. The ball is in your court. It's not about wat you say, coz well.. u don't seem to mean wat u say sometimes, but wat you DO. As the saying goes, Action speaks louder than words. No use being a NATO.

References:

Barlow, D. H. (2009). Abnormal psychology: An integrative approach (5th ed.). Wadsworth Cengage Learning.

Coon, D. & Mitterer, J. O. (2009). Psychology: Modules for active learning. Thomson Wadsworth.

Wajah Rahsia Hati

2010-04-23T21:15:00.003+08:00

ok some how the "paste" f(n) (A maths!!!! sheesh.. im getting nerdy again. but wateva... i like nerds anyway. lol.) is not working here. but since i owe this to the teenagers out there, here's the thing for you. enjoy while it lasts. well.. teenage years were the best and worst time in my life. but hey, i won't trade my teen years for anything else. That's where it all started... :)

Wajah Rahsia Hati – Ali Setan

Dalam kehidupan ini
Yang terindah
Melalui usia remaja
Senda gurau suka duka
Sering berganti
Meninggalkan kesan abadi

Oh berdebar-debar hatinya
Kali pertama bertentang mata
Inilah pengalaman
Harus ditempuhi tiap insan

Kenakalan atau kesungguhan
Sukar mencari perbezaan
Betapa kau cuba melindungi
Jelas di wajah rahsia hati

TiREd

2010-04-23T21:01:00.002+08:00

i am TIRED. tired tired tired tiiiiiiiireeeeeeeeeddddddddd... mentally and physically. ok, u get the drift. it's been another crazy week. lucky dun haf work to do. but the assignments were jammed pack. and i didn't get any help this time round. hee. but it had caused me to be physically drainedddd... fr mon all the way.. by the time it'd fri, i cant take it liaooooo... my brain had gone on a major overdrive. the eyes cant decide when to open or close anymore. and i'm not feeling too good... feels like im going to fall sick. :S still.. one more assignment to go, supposedly due at midnight. and i hafnt even started! ergh... it's ok it's ok.. got grace period. every since this thing started... i've not been handing my assignments on time. always haf to extend to grace period. and this cant continue esp for next sem, if i actually get to the crimonology module. at first was not interested at all. but asa i read the description, somehow i got a good feel abt it. den again of coz my choice is not abt feeling, im a head person after all. so i based it on the psy test i did befoer and hey, law was ranked pretty high. but this time round, got to do ECA. so cannot go beyond midnight to submit. hmm...

well emotionally, all i wanna say for now is that i might not be too sure abt what i really want. but i's absolutely sure what i don't want. i don't want to get hurt... again. over? it's far fr over and hey... as wat u used to say, it ain't over till it's over baby. so knowing what i don't want, i'm juz being cautious in every step and move i make. it's going to take time, but i'm going to take my time... juz to be on the safe side. and hey, i wont be surprised over the things that i would do juz to "protect" myself fr being hurt again. perhaps, that's juz a survival and animal instict... to avoid danger or potentially harmful things. in this case, situations and people.

PaREntS N TeeNs

2010-04-18T18:06:00.007+08:00

was surfing channels and happen to come across a prog titled "PG" on suria. ok, i cant remember wat "PG" stands for.. it was in malay. so no surprises.

anyway.. this episode was abt how parents handle their teenage children. then it got me thinking... boy it's certainly not easy to be a parent. esp of hormone raging teenagers, trying to find some form of rootedness in who they are while trying to keep their hormones and sexuality in check.

so this episode (or probably the rest too, i duno, this is the 1st time im actually watching it.. in MALAY! wow. im so proud of myself. but then again, i've been more in touch wif my melayu these days. but that's another story.) was abt the different parenting styles with regards to their teen children having BGR. lol. been sooooooooo long since i used that term. and to think someone used that on me lately, GOSH! tu zaman kental siaaaaaaaaaa... when i saw her msg, "is it a BGR problem?" i almost burst into laughter. BGR eh... that is like so juvenile. den again. she's much younger. so i juz smiled to myself answering "sorta..." tho i wont call it "BGR". *shakes head.

it's interesting how some parents, or perhaps most parents, handle this whole thing. fr the super strict, cornering the child, giving curfew, confiscating the hp and limiting communication and all. how that i'm at this stage of life, i guess, the parents are juz being concerned and duh, all of us know, parents and child alike, studies should be your top priority. His mum used to tell him, "Umm... don't neglect your studies ah. Studies comes 1st." dat's not saying that she wanted us to break up or sth... juz that watever it is, if wanna haf a relationship, make sure your studies are not affected. i guess parents are concerned that if their child haf a r/s den thier studies wld be affected -vely coz less focus or spend less time on it. oh well.. perhaps they are right? or perhaps, the children can prove them wrong? come to think abt it, my parents never really said anything. den again, i dun really talk to them abt such stuff. do you?

well, at that point in time, let's really ask ourselves, how many of us haf used THAT as an excuse. or well... heard that as an excuse to get out of a relationship? The excuse... "it's not you, it's me. i don't think it's the right time. i need to concentrate on my studies." and leaving u asking... what the.. after all these months/yrs??? u suddenly decided that having a r/s is not for you? if u were so concerned abt studies, y even start in the 1st place? and the irony is... you actually do better than him/her after the brakeup. and worse, he/she gets attached to someone else. den u wld know... it's NOT abt studies. it hurts but hey, take pride.. at least u do better in your studies wifout him/her. ;) so does dat mean that our parents are right in the 1st place? Hmm...

My parents? well... like everyone else... it was a hush hush thing at first. LOL. hey.. being "open" is not eactly in my dictionary esp when dealing wif them. but it's nice to know that when they found out, they were pretty cool abt it. i guess i've gained their trust. I have been a goody-two-shoes all this while. or was i? *winks. if they knew.. they'd probably skin me alive. hey... like 99% of people in the world, i've done things i'm not proud of. i'm not a saint. are you?

being parents is not an easy task. they simply want the best for their children in every way possible and it's juz natural for them to protect us fr harm... only to lead us to the better gd. That is, their perception of "good" while ours might differ. but that doesnt mean we should be rude or anything towards them, and likewise, parents should probably cut us some slack. den again, wat do i know... i'm not a parent... yet.

for the teenagers out there who's in love which seems so real,
here's sth for you. hmm... ok, sth's wrong, cannot cut and paste. perhaps some other time.

for those who haf already gotten over the puppy love, teenage phase and are in for the "real" deal, here's sth for you. did i say i've been in touch wif my melayu self? here's some jual beli pantuns for you, by yours truly. Dun laugh! I really come up wif this on my own ok... tho might not be up to standard wif the additional eng word, but hey, it's a great achievement coming fr this melayu celup and i'm proud of it. lol. juz a little back grd, was talking to a fren abt MJ12 whereby there are some malay people who sends flowers wif dunno wat they jampi2 to the girl they want.

here goes,

Me:
Tadi pagi main layang-layang,
Terjatuh ia di kolam sana,
Jangan takut wahai cik abang,
Kalau dah jodoh takkan ke mana.

Jawapan (fr my fren):

Buat kek di dapur sana,
Kek bantut Cik Poet merana,
Yelah jodoh takkan ke mana,
Tapi kalo jodoh ngan those melayu cammana?

(*lol. 1stly, i still dunno wat bantut means. 2ndly, "those melayu" refers to those who uses hocus pocus techniques to get the girl.)

Me:
Hang tuah seorang laksamana,
Laksamana Melayu di dunia,
Bila choosing tu biarlah bijaksana,
Insya'Allah dapat yang mulia.

considering i use sejarah, hey tu markah bonus! LOL. ok... this pantun2 thing is juz not my thing and my brain went on an overdrive.

soo... pandai2 lah eh.. cik abang and cik adik di luar sana... :)

Friends with Benefits

2010-04-14T16:31:00.003+08:00

Interesting read... There's even a term for this!

Can We Be More Than Just Friends with Benefits?

Question:I have been really good friends with a guy, but I don't want us to remain as only "friends with benefits." Whenever I see him flirting with other women, I get terribly upset because he acts as if there is nothing between us -- and there is. But I can't voice out my true feelings and tell him, "I don't want you to flirt with other women" because we're not having a relationship and I'm not his girlfriend. What should I do?

Answer:

But you are already having a relationship – just a one-sided one, without any emotional involvement on his part.The thing about friends with benefits is that, often, only one partner gets all the benefits while the other gets heartbroken. It's the nature of the deal – a friendship with benefits only serves to satisfy the physical needs without the emotional commitment. And because women are pretty much wired to form emotional attachments to men they are intimate with, casual relationships tend to be a bad bargain for the fairer sex.

That's why having friends with benefits can get so confusing: You are emotionally attached to him, believe that he must feel the same about you and so you expect him to demonstrate some level of affection, for example, by being attentive to your feelings and certainly by not being overly friendly with other women. But then you realize he won't even recognize a relationship.

The result: You're hurt and confused.

I know it's hard, but you have to put an end to this friends-with-benefits arrangement between you. Then, hopefully, he'll start paying more attention to you and take you seriously. But even if he doesn't, at least you'll get back your self-respect. You deserve better.

Well ladies, maybe,

Is TiS A COnVERsaTIon?

2010-04-14T00:26:00.002+08:00

ok.. its been a while since i've chatted in malay. as much as my ic states "Malay", it wont take long for anyone to realise that i suck at the language and talking abt Malay classes juz sends a shiver down my spine. Ok, i'm dat bad. I admit.

but i haf to say im pretty proud of myself to be able to understand, or at least pretend to know what is going on. lol. of coz it took some time to really read and try to make out wat is being said. but hey, how in the world do people understand this:

sape?
ntah ey
nnt thur drg confem
but i thk luh kn
confm2 drg g nye uh
nk blikn ape ey?
kac duit tk leh?
blh kn?
nnt prg i slip

now i'm no gramamr police. but the above? hmm... are they even words?! let's juz say i was overwhelmed. never had to decipher such statements before! i guess its juz the culture. different cultural background. or perhaps generation. hehe. so i got a culture shock. guess it's time to work on my CQ! but let's oso not be deculturalised. hey, i'm paying attention during lecture! ;)

AnALoguE

2010-04-11T17:50:00.004+08:00

The future is analogue!!!!!!!! WOO HOO!!!!!!! u heard me? u read that? way to go lomo! i likeeeeeeee....

it's not boring. it gives pleasant surprises. and who's to tell you how to take great photographs?!

prob is.. we've go to find shops that sell film! it's been like ages since people buy film.. but we still need those 3-in-1 packs to save cost. we still haf to pay for developing the fotos u know...

SpOOkY TALeS #4

2010-04-10T00:41:00.002+08:00

Prior to joining a new company, this guy A was working at boat quay area. In those tall building offices like UOB and such. His office was quite high up the level at least 30 and above. Normally he will have to stay back for OT and in the evening, all the lifts will be stopped due to security reasons. Whenever he wanted to leave, he will need to call the old security uncle to activate the lift from ground floor to his level. Then the uncle will send the lift up..

After sometime, he left the company and joined another place where his office also very high up in the building. Hence if do OT, also need to call uncle to send lift up. Then it came the day that he's working OT for the first time at the new place. He stayed back till 12 plus am and When he's about to leave, he called the security uncle to send the lift up. After packing up he went to the lobby to wait for the lift. He waited and waited. 10 mins passed, Lift not up. He waited for another 10 mins and call the security uncle. S denotes security here.

A: Hello Uncle ah, have you send the lift up?
S: Yeah sent liao.
A: No leh I been waiting for 20 mins liao leh
S: No meh? okie okie I send again.

Another 5 minutes went by. No lift came up. The guy got worried. He's the last person to leave and there's no one around. He called the uncle on his handphone again.

A: Er... Uncle ah, you sure you sent the lift up?
S: Yeah I sent it up twice liao leh.
A: But I saw the lifts all on the first floor leh!
S: Aiyoh. Nevermind. I take the lift up and look for you.

Again, A waited. 5 minutes passed but none of the lift are moving. Then suddenly, his hp ring. The uncle voice was on the other side of the line sounding very weird.

S: Where are you? I am here. But I cannot find you.

All this while A was staring at the display of the lifts. All at level 1..... and the uncle is here.... shit something is not right.

A straight away chiong to the stairs and dashed down the building... When he reached ground level, he chiong to the security counter and he found out that....

He had actually called the old security uncle in the building of his ex-company and not the security uncle of his new office -_- He work till sian liao and was damn blur. Feeling very pai seh, he also never call back to explain to the security uncle from the building of his ex-company.

Blur cock and poor uncle. He must be the one who actually freaked out going all the way up and saw no one there hahaha

Moral of the story - dun work till becoming like sotong.... :)

SpOOkY TaLeS #3

2010-04-10T00:39:00.000+08:00

When I was young, I went to town to work with a group of friends during our summer holidays of two months. Being young and away from home for the first time, we drank and smoke like nobody's business. One night, we were pissed drunk and flagged the last bus down to go home. Being tired, we slept in the bus. It had been awhile that I fell asleep. I was awake by the chilly wind. I was shocked to find that there was no one in the bus, and I was the last passenger. I looked in front tocheck out for the driver. But the driver was no where in sight. Yet, the bus was moving. I panicked shitless. I rubbed my eyes to make sure that I was not dreaming. The night was dark and cold. I hysterically jumped out from the bus and tried to run as hard as I could to get away. Then I heard someone yelled at me from behind the bus.

"Hey! Don't run away! Come over here and help to push the bus!" yelled the bus driver. I saw my other friends helping to push the bus, which broke down while I was asleep.

SpOoKY TALeS #2

2010-04-10T00:37:00.001+08:00

When I was young, I have two friends who were very close to each other. They played with each other everyday. It was like, if you see A, you would see B next to him. They were always together. A loved fried eggs. Whenever he went out for lunch or dinner,without fail, he would ask for fried egg on top of his noodles, fried rice, etc. One day, A involved in an accident and died. B was devastated. B went to the cemetery to pray everyday. He would go to the nearest restaurant and ta pao a box of fried rice with an egg on top to be offered to A when he went to pray to him. The next day, he opened the box and there was no egg inside!B was petrified. He thought, must be A who came and took the fried egg away. The same thing happened the next day and the day after that. B was confused. So, one day, he asked the chef to make the same fried rice with a fried egg again. Then, he went to the cemetery to offer it to A. Curious, he opened the box to check for the egg. He was angry to find that, there was no fried egg in the box after all. Feeling that he had been cheated, he went back to the restaurant and demanded to see the Chef. "Where is the fried egg?? I told you there must be a fried egg inside!! You have cheated me for a few days now! Gimme back my money!!"

Then, the Chef got really angry and opened the box - the fried egg was inside the box. The Chef said, "Stupid! You open the box upside down. No wonder you cannot see the egg!!"

SpOKy TALeS #1

2010-04-10T00:32:00.002+08:00

was listening to MJ 12 lately... the guy in black gave me a shock! it muz haf been a priceless reaction from me. well wat do u expect? it was in the middle of a quiet night. tu lah.. tak de keje lain! anyway, came across these stories in my inbox.

When I was young, I lived in a deserted kampong deep in the jungle. Every night, my mother would ask me not to go home too late as there won't be any transportation after a certain time. One night, before going home, I ta pao a kueh teow soup for supper. I was late and I waited for the taxi/bus but there was none. I was getting worried as the night was getting darker and darker. So I tried to flag down private vehicles to take me home. There was no one stopping for me, till one motorcyclist took compassion on me and stopped to give me a lift. He was a man with a kind face. I accepted his offer and got onto his motorbike On the way home, we would pass by a temple. At night, the temple would look eerily spooky with the dim lights from the candles. At first,the motorcyclist was warm and friendly. When the temple was approaching, the motorcyclist eyes grown bigger and bigger. His kind face turned to a face of anger. He was muttering something loud but was not audible to me. I was so scared that I closed my eyes in order not to see his angry face. Then, the motorcylist stopped in front of the temple and then yelled at me.

"Your kueh teow soup is so hot!! It is burning my thigh! Can you please move it away???"

Every Question has a solution

2010-04-07T16:25:00.002+08:00

Sometimes in life, we need some motivation to keep us going... encouragement in different ways though we might not outrightly say it verbally. The impossible made possible. We are only humans and thus we are capable in doing things more than we ever knew we could... but also coz we are only humans, we tend to discount ourselves by using that as a way to get out. wat can i say? we are only humans.

This is a real story that happened between the customer of General Motors and its Customer-Care Executive.

A complaint was received by the Pontiac Division of General Motors:

‘This is the second time I have written to you, and I don’t blame you for not answering me, because I sounded crazy, but it is a fact that we have a tradition in our family of Ice-Cream for dessert after dinner each night, but the kind of ice cream varies so, every night, after we’ve eaten, the whole family votes on which kind of ice cream we should have and I drive down to the store to get it. It’s also a fact that I recently purchased a new Pontiac and since then my trips to the store have created a problem…

You see, every time I buy a vanilla ice-cream, when I start back from the store my car won’t start. If I get any other kind of ice cream, the car starts just fine. I want you to know I’m serious about this question, no matter how silly it sounds “What is there about a Pontiac that makes it not start when I get vanilla ice cream, and easy to start whenever I get any other kind?”

The Pontiac President was understandably skeptical about the letter, but sent an engineer to check it out anyway.

The latter was surprised to be greeted by a successful, obviously well educated man in a fine neighborhood. He had arranged to meet the man just after dinner time, so the two hopped into the car and drove to the ice cream store. It was vanilla ice cream that night and, sure enough, after they came back to the car, it wouldn’t start.

The Engineer returned for three more nights. The first night, they got chocolate. The car started. The second night, he got strawberry. The car started. The third night he ordered vanilla. The car failed to start.

Now the engineer, being a logical man, refused to believe that this man’s car was allergic to vanilla ice cream. He arranged, therefore, to continue his visits for as long as it took to solve the problem. And toward this end he began to take notes: He jotted down all sorts of data: time of day, type of gas uses, time to drive back and forth etc.

In a short time, he had a clue: the man took less time to buy vanilla than any other flavor. Why? The answer was in the layout of the store. Vanilla, being the most popular flavor, was in a separate case at the front of the store for quick pickup. All the other flavors were kept in the back of the store at a different counter where it took considerably longer to check out the flavor.

Now, the question for the Engineer was why the car wouldn’t start when it took less time. Eureka – Time was now the problem – not the vanilla ice cream!!!! The engineer quickly came up with the answer: “vapor lock”.

It was happening every night; but the extra time taken to get the other flavors allowed the engine to cool down sufficiently to start. When the man got vanilla, the engine was still too hot for the vapor lock to dissipate.

Even crazy looking problems are sometimes real and all problems seem to be simple only when we find the solution, with cool thinking.

Don’t just say it is “IMPOSSIBLE” without putting a sincere effort…. Observe the word “IMPOSSIBLE” carefully; Looking closer you will see, “I’M POSSIBLE”…
Never underestimate your Clients’ Complaint, no matter how funny it might seem!

InSOmNIa

2010-04-05T17:35:00.003+08:00

time stopped. for a few days. was about to throw my clock away and get a new one tho i really like it a lot. but after cleaning up the dust and putting in a new battery, it starts to tick again. i don't haf to throw it away after all. perhaps that's wat i'm meant to do. all it needs is a little dusting and a new souce of life so i don't need to throw it away. thankfully, coz i really liked that clock.

anyway, my bio clock is totally screwed. last week was really intense and my body is reacting to it, unfortunately, negatively. all the crying and assignments have turned my clock upside down and been feeling sick in the stomach lately. ERGH! not good ah, not good ah! my nights have turned into days and vice versa. been staying up late thanks to matters of the heart and assignments of course. my body doesnt know what to do anymore. last night, slept at abt midnight only to wake up at 2.30 am and stayed awake till abt 7 am! ERGH! wat am i going to do with myself?! perhaps, this is wat you call, insomnia...

Insomnia~ Craig David

I never thought that I'd fall in love, love, love, love
But it grew from a simple crush, crush, crush, crush
Being without you girl, I was all messed up, up, up, up
When you walked out, said that you'd had enough-nough-nough-nough

Been a fool, girl I know
Didn't expect this is how things would go
Maybe in time, you'll change your mind
Now looking back i wish i could rewind

Because i can't sleep til you're next to me
No i can't live without you no more
Oh i stay up til you're next to me
Til this house feels like it did before
Feels like insomnia ah ah,
Feels like insomnia ah ah
Feels like insomnia ah ah,
Feels like insomnia ah ah

Remember telling my boys that I'd never fall in love, love, love, love
You used to think I'd never find a girl I could trust, trust, trust, trust
And then you walked into my life and it was all about us, us, us, us
But now I'm sitting here thinking I messed the whole thing up, up, up, up

Been a fool (fool), girl I know (know)
Didn't expect this is how things would go
Maybe in time (time), you'll change your mind (mind)
Now looking back i wish i could rewind
Because i can't sleep til you're next to me
No i can't live without you no more (without you no more)
Oh i stay up til you're next to me (to me)
Til this house feels like it did before
(Because it)Feels like insomnia ah ah,
Feels like insomnia ah ah
Feels like insomnia ah ah (Ah),
Feels like insomnia ah ah

Ah, i just can't go to sleep
Cause it feels like I've fallen for you
It's getting way too deep
And i know that it's love because

I can't sleep til you're next to me
No i can't live without you no more (without you no more)
Oh i stay up til you're next to me (to me)
Til this house feels like it did before
Feels like insomnia ah ah,
Feels like insomnia ah ah
Feels like insomnia ah ah,
Feels like insomnia ah ah

Feels like insomnia ah ah,
Feels like insomnia ah ah
Feels like insomnia ah ah,
Feels like insomnia ah ah

hmm... now i miss the philppines!

HoW Do GUyS HaVE a ConVErsaTioN

2010-04-02T16:01:00.003+08:00

now i juz wonder how men actually engage in a conversation with other men.

what do women talk abt when they meet up and have a chat? everything under the sun which includes shopping, cosmetics, fashion, beauty regimes, movies, love, men, bitching abt other women, work, hobbies, perhaps even the weather. so yes, we can jump from lunch to dessert to tea juz talking and catching up.

men? fr wat i know, 3 things: women, sex, football. perhaps that's an understatement but i think we girls have more to say to each other than men. i mean after not meeting each other for so long, they have enough "men-bonding" time within like 3 hours?! is that it? did u guys really talk and catch up? hmm...

so... my point is, after spending so much time on it. trying to meet the deadline on top of finishing up my assignment, after writing a long email abt wat to look out for and all, what do u haf to say? 3 words. THREE words. i'm like ok... it was encouraging... i know u get to the point but... nevermindddd... and the next thing i know, wat do you wanna work on next? again, i'm like ooookkkk...

man... someone once told me sth along the line of men are objective driven. they have the objective and they go for the kill. i guess they are. but sometimes, it's ok to be a little more elaborate in what you do or say u know, sometimes, it's ok to take your time, and mine for that matter. it lets me breathe. sheesh... ok, i'm a procratinator. hee.

well, i guess, if you want to expect something, also expect to be disappointed. on the other hand, if you don't expect anything, you might be pleasantly surprised. so what do i expect?

Do Not Disturb

2010-04-01T11:43:00.002+08:00

ok, i think some people haf yet to know this.
when i'm doing my assignment, when i'm trying to meet a deadline, when i'm at full concentration in doing what i am doing, PLEASE.. read this sign:

"DO NOT DISTURB"

i'm sorry dearies, but seriously, at a time like this,
dun ask me about my income tax,
dun ask me where i put my stuff,
dun even ask me what i want to eat coz no matter how hungry or thirsty, i'm not getting out of my chair.
not even for a while. really...

in fact dun tell me anything coz chances are i wont even be listening,
dun ask me anything coz chances are i don't know anything besides what i need to do.

coz at that moment i dun really know what is going on around me. and i dun wanna know. i go into this big huge bubble and into THE ZONE. yes... when i'm on the roll, i'm on the rolling ball.

i dun mean to be rude but really.. PLEASEEEEEEEEEE... just leave me aloneeee. you can ask me anything u want, u can ask me to do anything u want me to do... AFTER i've completed what i need to complete. it really annoy the hell out of me when i need to think of something out of the bubble.

so yeah... i apologise for being rude and nonchalent. it's not that i dun care, juz not at that moment ok? please... u can take it as i'm begging u.

TimE

2010-03-31T14:53:00.002+08:00

i dunno if there's ever a good time experience all these, but i know for sure that this is a bad time.

Y?
i had a test to study for,
2 assignments to complete over the next 3 days,
a deadline to meet TODAY.

so.. all these emo shit thing has got to stop Lorynn!
like NOW! NO more PROCRASTINATION! NO more EXCUSES!
Thank God the test went well, wif a little luck and lots of prayers! considering that i only finished 1/4 of my readings. and reading that 1/4 wif teary and puffy eyes din really work. like duh!

wat do you haf to do today?
5 more passages to go,
lots of articles to look for about one of the most boring topics *shudders at the thought of going for "econs" lesson let alone a 1000 word essay!
wats worse is having to read, understand, analyse, put in perspective and pen it down. Now looking for the articles dun sound that bad after all.

I really need to FOCUS, FOCUS, FOCUS! Now is NOT the time to sit and be consumed with the emotions.

Hmm... Talking abt time...
been doing lots of funny things lately wif regards to turning back the clock and going back to the 90s and early Y2K era. *shakes head. feels like a teenager all over again. that's good and bad.

things like:

entertaining these "kids" in checking out guys over at the other table at an ice cream parlour (Goodness! People... we've talked abt it... looks are just superficial remember... but ok lah, once in a while wash eyes. ;) )
going for a slumber party
playing dumb card games in the hope that it would answer silly questions (as if the answers are based on a card game Ms J learnt abt in Grade 2. but the results were quite scary actually. so perhaps somewhere out there someone has a crush on me! lol. is that juvenile or wat?!)
playing truth or dare wif questions like "Have you ever kissed a guy b4?" most of our ans: Like duh! that was ssooooooo longgggggg agooooooooooo.... when was my 1st kiss again? of coz i remember it pretty clearly but ain't going to share it here. lol. ok lah, but these "kids" are not as mature so... to some who've never been a relationship of coz said no.
going on msn and chatting till the wee hours of the morning and exchanging pictures! GOSH! there's such a thing as Facebook! Go look at them at your own free time. Felt like the icq and irc era where people exchange fotos and trying to find the "perfect picture". both gals and guys. and the pictures can be so deceiving! *shakes head.

ok.. time check, back to reality. it's nice to do such youthful things once in a while. but hey reality is... we've grown wiser over the years with more life experiences. let's not get too comfy being in a state of wonder and awe at the most juvenile acts coz the truth is, been there, done dat, juz don't forget the lessons learnt. it's ok to be childlike but not childish. yes, there is a difference. to act childish juz becoz we are amongst younger people most of the time is juz unwise. well... i guess we ain't that young anymore. face it!

Juz wanna end tis... tho a bit off...with... only time will tell.

For now, it's time to WORK!

PrAyEr

2010-03-30T23:22:00.003+08:00

it's been a while now.. since i find myself tearing on the praying mat. yes... i was praying... I prayed...

for Him to take this pain away for his humble servant can't bear it for another day...
for Him to give us the courage, wisdom and strength to handle this obstacle...
for Him to bless us with the gift of smooth sailing relationship should it be the best for both of us....

In the meantime, here's a little prayer for you...

The moment I wake up
Before I put on my make up
I say a little prayer for you
While combing my hair now
And wond'ring what dress to wear now
I say a little prayer for you
Forever, forever you'll stay in my heart
And I will love you
Forever, and ever we never will part
Oh, how I love you
Together, together, that's how it must be.
To live without you
Would only mean heartache for me
I run for the bus now, dear
While riding I think of us dear
I say a little prayer for you
At work I just take time
and all through my coffee break time
I say a little prayer for you
Forever, forever you'll stay in my heart
And I will love you
Forever, and ever we never will part
Oh, how I love you
Together, together, that's how it must be.
To live without you
Would only mean heartache for me
My darling, believe me
For me there is no one but you
Please love me too
I'm in love with you
Answer my prayer
Say you love me too

I guess sometimes, life's jokes are not funny at all... not when it's on you.
So I also prayed...

for Him to make it less painful and bless us with a smooth trasition should it be best if we went on our own ways...
for Him to take the tears away and mend the bleeding heart...
for only He knows best.

I guess... only time will tell...

LoVe iS...

2010-03-29T13:53:00.003+08:00

during one of the activities in class last tues, we were posed this question. "What is love? Write 10 sentences what you think love is or what does it mean to you." i was stunned. i've never really tot abt that b4. hey, im not the emo type. what do i know? the only thing that comes to my mind, "Love is in the air." so as we discussed the answers, some stated what they think love is. of coz i had lots to say but remained quiet.

so what is love? someoone once said, love is irrational. so is that wat it is? well... love makes people irrational. if you do something and you dont know why, that's love. if you do something and there's no reason why, that's love...

"No man deserves your tears. The one who does will not make you cry." Heard that from somewhere before. That's what the head thinks... but the heart can't control the tears.

so y do i find myself crying? i dont know. y do i find this whole thing so hurtful? i dont know. i dont have the reasons y i do the things i do. and perhaps, there is no reason y. probably the reason is as simple as being in love... with you. and it hurts to know that perhaps...juz perhaps... i'll lose you again one day. and that very thought juz hurts. it feels like being stabbed over and over again everytime u do things like that. it hurts so much, i'm so afraid of the pain. perhaps u might call me a weakling. but that pain that i have to go through... seems so unbearable at times.

but y do i find myself trying to cry myself to sleep last night? y are these tears wetting the keyboard as i type these words? i dont know. perhaps the simple reason is because i'm juz in love... in love with you...

QuIT PLaYinG GAmEs

2010-03-28T19:59:00.002+08:00

quit playing games because it hurts.
quit playing games because it's not nice.
quit playing games because you are playing with fire.
if you are, you might get burnt.

Backstreet Boys - Quit Playing Games (With My Heart)

Baby...Ooh...
Even in my heart, I see
You're not being true to me
Deep within my soul, I feel
Nothing's like it used to be
Sometimes I wish I could
Turn back time
Impossible as it may seem
But I wish I could
So bad, baby
Quit playing games with my heart

Chorus
Quit playing games with my heart
Before you tear us apart (with my heart)
Quit playing games with my heartI
should've know from the start
You know you've gotta stop (from my heart)
You're tearing us apart (my heart)
Quit playing games with my heart

I live my life, the way
To keep you coming back to me
Everything I do
Is for you
So what is it that you can't see
Sometimes I wish I could
Turn back time
Impossible as it may seem
But I wish I could
So bad, baby you'd better quit playing games with my heart

Chorus
Quit playing games with my heart
Before you tear us apart (with my heart)
Quit playing games with my heart
I should've know from the start
You know you've gotta stop (from my heart)
You're tearing us apart (my heart)
Quit playing games with my heart

Quit playing games
Baby, baby
The love that we had was so strong
Don't leave hangin' here forever
Oh baby, baby this is not a lie
Let's stop this tonight

Baby, ohh, quit playing games
Nah nah nah nah nah nah nah
Nah nah nah nah nah baby
Nah nah nah nah

Sometimes I wish I could
Turn back time
Impossible as it may seem
But I wish I could
So bad baby
Quit playing games with my heart

Chorus
Quit playing games with my heart
Before you tear us apart (with my heart)
Quit playing games with my heart
I should've know from the start
You know you've gotta stop (from my heart)
You're tearing us apart (my heart)
Quit playing games with my heart
Quit playing games
Nah nah nah nah nah nah nah
Nah nah nah nah nah baby
Nah nah nah nah
Quit playing games with my heart
With my heart, with my heart
With my heart, with my heart

What Do You Want From Me

2010-03-27T22:38:00.003+08:00

just tot of this song, but not from a gay's point of view. just for the people who are too nice. well i juz found out there is such a thing as being too nice. well, i guess that's y nice girls and guys end up getting hurt; and dumped. for being too nice. i don't understand. isnt being nice, a nice thing to do? wat's bad about being too nice? this whole star craft thing, i don't know how to play it well. i don't understand the rules of the game. perhaps i need a daniel henny to teach me the ropes. but to manipulate people? that's not being nice. y can't i just be nice? or too nice for that matter. thus, the song...

Adam Lambert - What Do You Want From Me

Hey, slow it down
whataya want from me
Whataya want from me
Yeah I’m afraid whataya want from me
Whataya want from me

There might have been a time
And I would give myself away
Oooh once upon a time I didn’t give a damn
But now, here we are so whataya want from me
Whataya want from me

Just don’t give up I’m workin it out
Please don’t give in, I won’t let you down
It messed me up, need a second to breathe
Just keep coming around
Hey, whataya want from me
Whataya want from me
Whataya want from me

Yeah, it’s plain to see (plain to see)that baby you’re beautiful
And it’s nothing wrong with you(nothing wrong with you)
It’s me, I’m a freak (yeah)but thanks for lovin’ me
Cause you’re doing it perfectly(it perfectly)

There might have been a time
When I would let you step away
I wouldn’t even try
But I think you could save my life

Just don’t give up I’m workin’ it out
Please don’t give in, I won’t let you down
It messed me up, need a second to breathe
Just keep comin around
Hey, whataya want from me (Whataya want from me)
Whataya want from me (Whataya want from me)

Just don’t give up on me(uuuuuuh)
I won’t let you down
No, I won’t let you

(So I) just don’t give up
I’m workin it out
Please don’t give in, I won’t let you down
It messed me up (It messed me up)
Need a second to breathe
Just keep coming around
Hey, whataya want from me

Just don’t give up I’m workin’ it out
Please don’t give in, i won’t let you down
It messed me up, need a second to breathe
Just keep coming around
Hey, whataya want from me (whataya want from me)
whataya want from me (whataya want from me)whataya want from me

*this excludes the times when the red *B* button is being pressed. when that happens, u can forget about me being nice. at all.

deAR GoD

2010-03-25T13:19:00.003+08:00

I asked for a sign.
The problem is, I don't know how to read it.
Was there any in the first place?
Perhaps I should open my eyes wider.
But what if they come in the form of dreams?
Been having strange dreams lately.
The problem is, I can't seem to remember them.

So now I'm asking, pleading, praying,
If the time should come,
Please.... give me the strength, courage and wisdom to make the right choice, decision, stand.
Though we'll probably never know what the right choice is till it's made.
There are lots of "ifs" to consider.
But to be bogged down by all the ifs is not the way out too.
It's too draining, tiring, time-consuming.

As what Ms M. love saying,
choose your battles.
Don't fight a losing battle.
Some might disagree. But me? Well, I don't even start if I know I'm going to lose.
Yes... I'm a risk taker. A calculated one.
Please give me the strength, courage and wisdom
should the time ever come for me to do what I should do.
What I have to do.

SonGS FoR HEr(S)

2010-03-25T01:51:00.002+08:00

For the one who's caught in a bad romance... it's ok darling, it's part of growing up ;)...
Bad Romance - Lady Gaga

Rah-rah-ah-ah-ah!
Mum-mum-mum-mum-mah!
GaGa-oo-la-la!
Want your bad romance
Rah-rah-ah-ah-ah!
Mum-mum-mum-mum-mah!
GaGa-oo-la-la!
Want your bad romance
I want your ugly
I want your disease
I want your everything
As long as it's freeI want your love
Love-love-love
I want your love
I want your drummer
The touch of your healing
I want you leather dirty kiss in the scene
And I want your love
You know that I want you
Love-love-love
I want your love
Love-love-love
I want your love
You know that I want you
And you know that I need you
I want it bad
Bad and bad
I want your loving
And I want your revenge
You and me put on a bad romance
I want your loving
All your love is revenge
You and me put on a bad romance
Oh-oh-oh-oh-oooh!
Oh-oh-oooh-oh-oh!
Caught in a bad romance
Oh-oh-oh-oh-oooh!
Oh-oh-oooh-oh-oh!
Caught in a bad romance
Rah-rah-ah-ah-ah!
Mum-mum-mum-mum-mah!
GaGa-oo-la-la!
Want your bad romance
Rah-rah-ah-ah-ah!
Mum-mum-mum-mum-mah!
GaGa-oo-la-la!
Want your bad romance
I want your horror
I want your design
'Cause you're a criminal
As long as your mine
I want your love
Love-love-love
I want your love
I want your psycho
You're burning this stick
Want you in my room
When your baby is sick
I want your love
Love-love-love
I want your love
Love-love-love
I want your love
You know that I want you
And you know that I need you
I want it bad
Bad and bad
I want your loving
And I want your revenge
You and me put on a bad romance
I want your loving
All your love is revenge
You and me put on a bad romance
Oh-oh-oh-oh-oooh!
Oh-oh-oooh-oh-oh!
Caught in a bad romance
Oh-oh-oh-oh-oooh!
Oh-oh-oooh-oh-oh!
Caught in a bad romance
Rah-rah-ah-ah-ah!
Mum-mum-mum-mum-mah!
GaGa-oo-la-la!Want your bad romance
Rah-rah-ah-ah-ah!
Mum-mum-mum-mum-mah!
GaGa-oo-la-la!
Want your bad romance
Work-work fashion baby
Work it
Work the bitch crazy
Work-work fashion baby
Work itWork the bitch crazy
Work-work fashion baby
Work it
Work the bitch crazy
Work-work fashion baby
Work it
Work the bitch crazy
I want your love
And I want your revenge
I want your love
I don't wanna be friends
Said I want your love
And I want your revenge
I want your love
I don't wanna be friends
Oh-oh-oh-oh-oooh!
Oh-oh-oooh-oh-oh!
Caught in a bad romance
Oh-oh-oh-oh-oooh!
Oh-oh-oooh-oh-oh!
Caught in a bad romance
I want your loving
And I want your revenge
You and me put on a bad romance
I want your loving
All your love is revenge
You and me put on a bad romance
Oh-oh-oh-oh-oooh!
Oh-oh-oooh-oh-oh!
Caught in a bad romance
Oh-oh-oh-oh-oooh!
Oh-oh-oooh-oh-oh!
Caught in a bad romance
Rah-rah-ah-ah-ah!
Mum-mum-mum-mum-mah!
GaGa-oo-la-la!
Want your bad romance

I can't it with this one... esp when i keep seeing his look-alike nowadays *shudders*
Januari - Glenn Fredly

Berat bebanku
Meninggalkanmu
Separuh nafas jiwaku
Sirna...

Bukan salahmu
Apa dayaku
Mungkin benar cinta sejati
Tak berpihak
Pada kita

Kasihku
Sampai disini kisah kita
Jangan tangisi keadaannya
Bukan karena kita berbeda

Dengarkan
Dengarkan lagu.....lagu ini
Melodi rintihan hati ini
Kisah kita berakhir di Januari
Selamat tinggal kisah sejatiku
Wow....pergilah

SonGS fOr HiM(s)

2010-03-25T01:32:00.004+08:00

oh yes.. talking abt songs, there are some songs which i reminds me of some people whenever I hear them. some are funny. some are just lame. and well... some are just so them! and more often than not, I'll miss them. For example:

For the one who finds it so difficult to apologise...
Sorry seems to be the hardest word - Blue

What do I have to do to make you love me?
What do I have to do to make you care?
What do I do when lightning strikes me?
And I wake to find that you're not there?

What do I have to do to make you want me?
What do I have to do to be heard?
What do I say when it's all over?
Sorry seems to be the hardest word

It's sad, so sadIt's a sad, sad situation
And it's getting more and more absurd
It's so sad so sad
Why can't we talk it over?
Oh it seems to me
Sorry seems to be the hardest word...

Yeah.....
What do I got to do?
What do I got to do?
When sorry seems to be the hardest word

For the one wif the rock voice... and the gang for that matter
Earth Wind And Fire -Fantasy

Every man has a place,
in his heart there’s a space,
And the world can’t erase his fantasies
Take a ride in the sky,
on our ship fantasii
All your dreams will come true, right away
And we will live together, until the twelfth of never
Our voices will ring forever, as one
Every thought is a dream,
rushing by in a stream,
Bringing life to our kingdom of doing
Take a ride in the sky,
on our ship fantasii
All your dreams will come true, miles away
Our voices will ring together until the twelfth of never,
We all, will live forever, as one
Come see victory,
in the land called fantasy
Loving life, a new decree,
Bring your mind to everlasting liberty
Our minds will explore together,
old worlds, we conquer, forever
We then, will expand love together, as one
Come to see, victory
in a land called fantasy,
Loving life, for you and me, to behold,
to your soul is ecstasy
You will find, other kind,
that has been in search for you,
Many lives has brought you to
Recognize it’s your life, now in review
And as you stay for the play,
fantasy, has in store for you,
A glowing light will see you through
It’s your day, shining day,
all your dreams come true
As you glide, in your stride with the wind, as you fly away
Give a smile, from your lips, and say
I am free, yes I’m free, now I’m on my way

SonGs FoR Me

2010-03-25T00:56:00.004+08:00

once, my frens and i talked about the different songs that wld depict our personalities. Songs like Lady Gaga, Joy to the world came up. For me? They couldn't put a finger on it but it has to be one that starts slow... then there'll be a part that's really upbeat to show the side of me that says "Don't mess around with me". Didn't get to the ending part but i'm hoping it'll end on a gentler note. They got the middle part right for sure. I may be tolerant, but hey, i'm no push over and of coz, I'm not a saint, so don't push it. there's a little red button that spells out "B.I.T.C.H.". i highly suggest that button should be avoided. you don't want that little monster to creep out and cause mayhem. Come to think about it, it's like inuyasha turning into a real demon when his life is being threatened and he's away from his sword . and when that happens, it's very difficult to stop him. real hard. while he is trying to overcome that weakness and not turn into a beast, well it ain't an easy task i would say. it takes a lot of effort and time. hey i cant help it, i'm hooked to inuyasha tho it's getting a little boring along the way.

so hmm... i wonder y I see this happening over and over again. is it suppose to be "normal". cos if it is, it's bloody warped. for those in the party i'm in, i don't blame them for doing what they did. i finally understood. now don't blame it on genetic factors. stop trying to be pitiful and blame it on circumstances. that's juz cowardice if i may say. take control and shun away from being the victim of crcumstances. we have more control than we think we have. frankly, i dunno if this might seem obvious, i'm a person who holds and highly regards the principles i have in life. so, I don't know whether or not i should make it an exception. hmm...

i'm saying it now, and i'm still going to say it in years to come. I HATE HER. "Hate" is probably a strong word. but i do. she should just stay away, from me, from you, from us. the further, the better. now and forever. as i've said, i'm not a saint. i'm still trying to get it out of my head. i don't know how they do it, i'm still trying. probably it just takes time. that's for us to find out.

Jangan Lafazkan

2010-03-18T23:08:00.001+08:00

Jangan Lafazkan
Artist: KRU

Jangan lafazkannya hasrat di jiwa
Oh kerana ia kan menambah luka
Biar ku sendiri mengubati hati
Jangan lafaz kau sudah membenci

Ku tahu dari gerak gerimu
Adanya sesuatu mengganggu fikiranmu
Ku tahu kau tak seperti dulu
Masa telah mencemar
Kemesraan kita
Ku sedar sinaran kian pudar
Hati semakin tawar
Menguji kesabaran
Namun ku sukar 'tuk melepaskan
Andai kau ingin pergi
Tunai permintaan ini

Jangan lafazkannya hasrat di jiwa
Oh kerana ia kan menambah luka
Biar ku sendiri mengubati hati
Jangan lafaz kau sudah membenci

BeEn A wHILe.. tHinK n ThiNK n ThiNK

2010-03-17T21:05:00.003+08:00

so it has been a while since i last updated. not that there's nothing much to say. there are lots of stuff actually. from bitter sweet goodbyes, to a great time in the philippines, to the super long term 1 and the end of another chapter of my life's events.

but not going to write that much.... juz doing lots of thinking lately. think think think... well i'm more of a head person than a heart person so i think, think and think. it's been mind blowing and mind boggling. more thinking and rethinking needed here. i dun even know what to think anymore actually. perhaps i'm juz going wif the flow but ain't too sure of the direction.

wif all that's going on, it's juz nice and comforting to realise that you are not that far away after all. you've always been there. and that's nice to know. thanks.

aLL thE WorLd'S A StaGE + HYpoCriCy

2009-12-02T20:33:00.002+08:00

William Shakespeare - All the world's a stage (from As You Like It 2/7)All the world's a stage,

And all the men and women merely players:
They have their exits and their entrances;
And one man in his time plays many parts,
His acts being seven ages. At first the infant,
Mewling and puking in the nurse's arms.
And then the whining school-boy, with his satchel
And shining morning face, creeping like snail
Unwillingly to school. And then the lover,
Sighing like furnace, with a woeful ballad
Made to his mistress' eyebrow. Then a soldier,
Full of strange oaths and bearded like the pard,
Jealous in honour, sudden and quick in quarrel,
Seeking the bubble reputation
Even in the cannon's mouth. And then the justice,
In fair round belly with good capon lined,
With eyes severe and beard of formal cut,
Full of wise saws and modern instances;
And so he plays his part. The sixth age shifts
Into the lean and slipper'd pantaloon,
With spectacles on nose and pouch on side,
His youthful hose, well saved, a world too wide
For his shrunk shank; and his big manly voice,
Turning again toward childish treble, pipes
And whistles in his sound. Last scene of all,
That ends this strange eventful history,
Is second childishness and mere oblivion,
Sans teeth, sans eyes, sans taste, sans everything.

Some choose to wear the mask of Hypocricy in their performance. Watever stage that might be, BEWARE to the audience, and performer alike.

SuSHEeeee

2009-11-30T01:54:00.011+08:00

This is for the people who did not turn up. Thanks ya!

WaT's YouR ORdER?

2009-11-04T21:58:00.005+08:00

Came across an interesting take:

Birth Order & Your Love Life

How your birth order affects your romantic compatibility.

Everyone has a birth order or the order you were born into a family. And whether you're a firstborn, middleborn, lastborn, an only child or a twin, your birth order can influence your personality and your relationships, say experts."While other factors, such as age, race, and gender, all play a role in shaping personality, research indicates that the number one factor influencing personality is birth order," explains William Cane, author of The Birth Order Book of Love, who has analyzed the birth order of 6,000 celebrities, historical figures and couples.

Birth order personality

Firstborn

Because firstborns are usually tasked with more responsibility from young to look after their siblings, they typically grow up to be dominant, super-responsible, organized and competitive.

Middle child

The middle child is a people-pleaser. He or she is diplomatic, and it's difficult to get them to take a stand. The middleborn also tends to be a little manipulative.

Lastborn

Lastborns are friendly, creative individuals who love challenging the status quo. They're more adventurous than their siblings and are the risk-taker in the family, although they also tend to be needy at times.

Only child

An only child is used to being in the spotlight within the family, so he or she tends to crave attention. Being an only child also means that he or she is unlikely to know very much about the opposite sex.

Twins

Twins have a strong bond and therefore always think of the other before making a decision. Their thoughtful nature makes them considerate romantic partners.

Birth order compatibility

When it comes to birth order compatibility, studies suggest that opposites attract and the best birth-order mixes have the least of what Cane refers to as rank conflict: "Two firstborns, for example, have the same rank and would be expected to fight over who's the leader," says Cane. "Similarly two lastborns could be expected to experience conflict over who's to be considered the baby of the relationship."So which marriage combinations work best? Dr. Kevin Leman, author of The Birth Order Connection, shares his findings:

Most compatible birth orders

Firstborn and lastborn / middle child and lastborn / only child and lastborn

This relationship works great, because the lastborn is going to be the fun-loving partner who teaches the other that it's okay to kick back and relax every now and then, while the firstborn/middle child/only child teaches his or her partner the importance of perseverance and why life should be taken seriously at times.

Least compatible birth orders
Firstborn and firstborn

When two bossy firstborns pair up, there is likely to be high friction. There could be plenty of conflict as both parties fight for control or they could fall into a controller-pleaser mode.

Lastborn and lastborn

Two adventurous individuals may mean double the fun and craziness at first, but with nobody to take charge, this relationship could turn chaotic very soon.

Only child and only child

Control issues aside, neither have much of a clue about the other gender.

Me?

Lastborn. I want my mummy!

Him?

"Real" family - Middle child. Twin. But i guess it might not be applicable considering that they hardly meet nor talk to each other.

"Other" family - lastborn.

Hmm...

SpiCY

2009-10-20T21:57:00.003+08:00

i need some sugar, spice and everything nice. no, not the power puff girls. juz something to spice things up in life. it's getting mundane. i'm getting bored... well those who know me well enough will know i cant stil still for long. ADHD? maybe a little. haha. sometimes i admire those who can sit for hours without moving. how do you do that?! the only time i can perhaps do that is when doing assignments. hee. but yeah... juz some little pleasant things in life to look forward to. how about that?

some salt over the shoulders for luck. some pepper to spice things up. and a little cinnamon somewhere to make it sweet... that would be nice.

but no drama pls. the last i recall, i had enough drama to last me a lifetime.

oh i love the mentalist. is he for real? how does he do the things he does? i wanna be like him! but not too much of a pain in the ass and being humble wld be good too. hee.

BecAUSe I WaNT TO

2009-10-18T20:43:00.003+08:00

someone once told me, "Don't do it because of me. Do it because you want to."

At that time, I didn't really know what it really means and juz went with the flow. over time, i think i understand exactly what he meant. by choosing to do something because i wanted to (like duh! it wasnt as easy and clearcut then), i'm accountable for it and not others. it helps to know that watever that's going to happen next is out of my own personal choice and noone else should be "blamed" if anything should go wrong. and by doing it because i wanted to, i don't go back to the same old path again.

juz food for thought...

PerFeCTiON

2009-10-18T14:23:00.002+08:00

surprise? nah... was in that situation b4 so i understand. kinda cool if u think abt it - and some others do think it's unbelievable. haha. we're happy for you but u know we are concerned too. u haf our support nonetheless even if the rest of the whole world don't. that's what friends are for. ;)

once i watched a show- it's a christmas story wif this girl who keeps going back into a snow globe in her dreams. anyway, what struck me was the idea that perfection comes in different forms. sometimes, it's not in ways that we expect. For eg (in a very simplified way), ice cream is perfect when having wif waffles. well, it's also perfect if you make it into a milkshake which is in a totally different form. and u will never know the other prefect forms of ice cream until u happen to try them and be surprised-ice cream float, ice cream in a bread, fried ice cream etc. which might be pleasantly different from your initial idea of "perfection" or "ideal". however, like everything else, it's also based on personal preferences. wat's likeable to you might not be for others.

juz thot this is appropriate for you. enjoy. :)

I knew I love you - Savage Garden

Maybe it's intuition
But some things you just don't question
Like in your eyes
I see my future in an instant
And there it goes
I think I've found my best friend
I know that it might sound more than a little crazy
But I believe
I knew I loved you before I met you
I think I dreamed you into life
I knew I loved you before I met you
I have been waiting all my life
There's just no rhyme or reason
Only this sense of completion
And in your eyes
I see the missing pieces
I'm searching for
I think I've found my best friend
I know that it might sound more than a little crazy
But I believe
I knew I loved you before I met you
I think I dreamed you into life
I knew I loved you before I met you
I have been waiting all my life
A thousand angels dance around you
I am complete now that I've found you
I knew I loved you before I met you
I think I dreamed you into life
I knew I love you before I met you
I have been waiting all my life

KidS Say THe DarNEsT THinGS

2009-10-18T14:02:00.002+08:00

since adults are soooooooo confusing as they twist words and meanings ard and it's too tiring to try and figure out wat they mean, how abt looking at things at surface level. kids do say the darnest things - real life instances! as usual, pseudo names are used.

k-kid, t-teacher

1) the class was writing a Mother's day card for their mums:

t: k, what's your mother's name?
k: XXX
t: ok, how do you spell your mother's name?
k: M.U.M.M.Y.

*well, that's how he spells it. he is answering the question.

2) the class was having a discussion on community helpers.

t: the person who helps to design buildings is an architect. K, your dad does that. So what does your dad do?
k: he design buildings.
t: so what do you call him?
k: ... Daddy!

*again, answering the question.

3) k just came back fr a holiday and celebrated her birthday.

k: ms j, i just had my birthday.
t: so how old are you now?
k: five.
t: oh, i thought u are sixteen. (jokingly)
k: no, I'm sandy (her name).
t: ... (while the kid went to play with her friends).

4) a kid was being scolded by a teacher during recess at the canteen and was crying.

t: (wanting to know which level he was from shouted:)which level are you in?
k: (sobbing) ground level.

LOL. sheesh... *shakes head. if only adults are like them. wouldnt the world be so much simpler to understand.

innocence... kids... one of the little things in life that makes u smile (and scream).

WoRDs

2009-10-18T13:48:00.003+08:00

hmm... if words carry meanings, what do u mean? if u r saying that wat u say has zero value, doesnt it mean that it has no meaning? if it doesnt haf any value, den y even say it at all? wouldn't it juz mean that it's redundant? u say that it doesnt haf a value, wat abt the receiving part? communication surely involves 2 parties. the sender and the receiver. everything else is juz noise that can impair the comm process. i guess i'm juz part of the noise.

in some instances it carry this meaning and in some it doesnt. in some cases it carries meanings and in some cases it doesnt even haf a value to it. it's simply too tiring to figure out when it means something to u and when it doesnt. if i were to juz stick to the general view, apparently it it doesnt work that way for u and them. well i'm not part of them. don't put me in that category and assume i would understand coz i don't, and so won't the rest of the world who's not part of them. if meanings keep changing, how m i suppose to trust wat u r saying? it's too confusing and tiring. and i'm overreacting. hmm...

i tot it's simple (isn't it?): say wat u mean and mean wat u say. if u don't mean it, dun say it.

RanDoM StuFf - BurFDaE ToY

2009-09-13T19:23:00.003+08:00

yes yes.. i've turned 17 once again. aaaaaahahhaha... ya ya.. some people say delusional. :P as long as i dun look my age, i'm alright. and as long as i've gained more wisdom and yet remain child-like (NOT childish), i'm fine.

it was so fun yest. i've got a new toy. woo hoo! thanks bee. considering that i can't afford, or rather choose not to spen $$ on a d90 or d5000 as yet... might as well get a camera dat takes artistic fotos instead. as opposed the the kinds that photograhers of nikon or canon wld ever nod to. ahahahah... so happy so happy. it was fun fun fun. felt like a child all over again.. one who juz got her very 1st camera. and yes.. it was like my very 1st camera. the kind where you have to manually load the film and turn it round and round to lock it in place. old-school! hehe. the only reason for the batt is the flash function. other than that, everything goes manual.

how photography have changed over the years. fr my 1st cam, to the auto film wif zoom. to the digital era. those days, we had to look thru the viewfinder to compose our pics carefully before hitting the shutter button so that we dont waste film. the anticipation of waiting for the pics... wat a feeling. if it turned out good, kudos to you. u know that u haf taken the time and effort to capture a good pic. then came the digital era. live view of the pic. people dun use the viewfinder anymore. clicking away and deleting pics as we go along... wat happened to the care that we used to prioritise when we used the film camera? good and bad.

now comes the time when you dun even haf to look at the viewfinder nor the screen! welcome to the world of lomography. haha. wat fun... makes photography all so fun once again.

10 golden rules:

Take your camera everywhere you go.
Use it any time – day and night.
Lomography is not an interference in your life, but part of it.
Try the shot from the hip.
Approach the objects of your Lomographic desire as close as possible.
Don’t think. (William Firebrace)
Be fast.
You don’t have to know beforehand what you captured on film.
Afterwards either.
Don’t worry about any rules.

let's take some pics - lomo style. or sld i say.. YOUR style. haha. thanks for the wonderful gift. oxoxox tho i got to choose it for myself and top up wif my voucher.. thanks all the same. hehe.

RAnDoM StuFf - FriEndS

2009-09-13T18:38:00.002+08:00

let's talk abt frens. kpak bing bing. over the national day weekend... 2 weddings. plus 1 for farn and 1 for liz.

congrats to mnah and tigore. look so demure and taking 'proper' pictures at last. cant help it rite. and sorry but i juz cant help laffing to myself. the candid shopts are more you for sure. din make it to henna night. bet it was a blast. anyway, nikah day was gd too. the spot light was really hot tho. she looked soooooooo pretty. good for u minah. now u can buy a hse of ur own and get out! yes.. out u go! haha. got to meet up and catch up ya. since din get to do so b4 the big day.

congrats to faz too. decor oso muz follow s'pore b'day hor. hehe. and wat a small small world! to think ai is now your sis in law. sheesh. who wld haf guessed! anyway.. happy for you. hope u both haf a blissful marriage till teh end of time. amin...

farn.. my 'abang'. so sad.. din get to see him at all! din get to see him b4 the big day - thanks to self-quarantine since he came back fr states. and din get to see him on the pelamin. tgk pelamin and amik bau je la... sigh sigh sigh... been longing to see him. now he's back there for who knows how long. been too long a time. din even get a chance to catch up. and i seriously dun like communicating via email. well.. i dun check my eamail ofthen and even if i do.. i dun like looking at the comp for a long time :S oh well.. hope to c u again 1 day. all the best in your research over there and take care...

ok.. liz one a bit the far but i shall still include it. first and foremost.. berapa susah da nak ari tempat tu... pusing nye pusing da... so sad hali cant join us. wld haf completed the team. and we were all in pink! such coincidence. hehe. but hey.. u look GREAT! true blue malay beauty! a bit confusing coz it's a 2-in-1 wedding but it's the 1st for me. hehe. ineresting way of celebrating your joyous occasion. ;)

sady was an exception. coz she's going away. :( so we had a dinner wif some other ats people. the most ex dinner for me i wld say. but hey.. once in a while up market a bit. haha. it was fun. food was good. lots of food. probably hafnt eaten that much for awhile. catch up session. even after the meal, sitting in front of ion was funny. haha. but not enough time to update everything. muz meet up more often k. i miss u people!

rANdOm stUfF -fAMiLy

2009-09-13T18:26:00.004+08:00

ok so i dun talk abt my family much. juz a little snap shot.

went oto the airport to c my cousin off. hafnt seen her for a long time. hafnt seen many extended family members for a long time anyway. she was going off to egypt to do her degree there. no prizes for guessing... she's a madrasah girl. so i went there thinking i'd be easy to find my aunt. she has a really big family anyway. 8 kids! and to my greatest surprise (or horror as i can put it), the whole place was filled wif all the tudung family... males wif the songkok! for a wahile it felt as if these peopel were going for umrah or hajj. yes, it's THAT crowded. i couldnt find my aunt! who can find anyone in that mess of people anyway. and i dun haf her number! panic.. called a few other family memebrs. finally got her number and she was only abt 2 metres away! sheesh... saw my other cousins. cant even figure out who's who. cant remember their names too. ok, that's bad. let's not talk abt trying to recognise them. all i can say is that they've grown so big over the years. then it hit me.. i cant even recognise my own cousins. this is not a healthy sign. when oh when will i make the effort to get to know my own family memebr better. perhaps i shoud start fr my own home. i dun even know what the guy in the nxt room is doing. :P anyway.. i'm happy for my cousin for making it so far.. it aint easy wif such a big family. responsibilities now falls on the younger ones... stay strong. Inyaallah we'll see each other before 4 yrs is up. anyone wanna sponsor me for an egypt trip? ;P

locally.. went to ikea wif my mum. met this nenek who's 71 yrs old going there by herself. din know the way so wanted to follow us. apparently her chn din haf the time to bring her there so she went there all by herself to get photo frames. they were quite heavy my mum said. and my mum was commenting that next time when she's old, i'd better take her to ikea and that she din wanna gothere by herself. :P Insyaallah.. i shall be a good daughter. heh.

RanDom S+uFF - ScH

2009-09-13T17:54:00.002+08:00

yes yes.. this is juz abt sch... not work. not getting confused i hope.

this sem started out realy slowlly for me. sigh. even tho there was an assignment due juz 1 week after the 1st seminar... i was and still am not motivated. haiz. this is not good. been leaving everthing to the last min. never do required readings. only do the minimum for TMAs. so let's not talk abt grades. sigh...

besides the tech module ahich was ssssoooooooooo BORINGggggggggg... so im not a techy savvy person. watever. the gender issue module was an overdose of feminist viewpoints. and to top it off the lecturer is a feminist herself. anyone wanna join AWARE? it was intimidating at first. but she got nicer over the weeks. the feminist comments that she made juz make me smile. i cant help it ok. dun blame fiz for hating this module. i would probably feel the same way if i were a guy in there. feel bad for the guys too. ego bursting sessions. haha. and the really bad one was that poor guy.. she said that she din get his TMA and thus was not sure if he was still in the class. he went to the comp lab to check and was sure he handed in his assignment. and after all that heart-pumping drama for him.. she juz got him mixed up wif another person. was wpndering abt that at the back of my mind when she started it all. wa lao eh. poor chap. wanna laugh oso feel bad.

12 hrs grace. good and bad. good coz we wont be penalised of coz. bad coz i'd juz procratinate more. since im not motivated to do them anyway. ever since this implementation.. i've been late all the time! not after the grace perios. but later than 12 midnight for sure. haiz... bad bad bad.. i know! i know! ergh... how oh how can i motivate myself??? another due this coming wed. ERGHHHHHHHHHHH...

RaNDoM StuFF - WorK + ScH

2009-09-13T17:06:00.003+08:00

so it's been a while. blame it on lack of time. or juz plain laziness. it doesnt help when u dun work behind a comp all day. good and bad considering that i dun exactly love the comp and only turn it on when i really really need to. heh. Oh well... let's move on... going to ramble on some stuff that happened days, weeks and months back. watever that comes to mind. here goes...

work + sch. can be a tricky qn to ans considering that i do work in a sch. so when someone ask me... where are u going? sch? work? both? dun really know how to ans. and when someone ask: what are u working as? clear ans: a teacher but NOT in an MOE sch. WHY??? coz i juz got sick of the system. simple as that. so am i happy in here? well happier for sure. but as i've said, i cant afford to stay here for long even tho i might like the work and working hours. let's be practical people... some can live their lives earning juz that much. but me? call me materialistic... watever... i need some more to save and travel of coz. hee.

so work... wat can i remember. for one, some people can be real irritating and i'm sorry to say this coz it might sound mean.. but i'm glas someone else heard it and told her. better to juz stay away as much as possible. coz if u get me on the wrong day at the wrong time... u'd never guess what i can do. and i'm very sure i can make it real bad. i'm not one who's bloody hard up for this job anyway. ok ok... fasting fasting... better stop it :X

on another note... national day celeb... din think i'd be wearing red and white again this year. tot i was going to get out of it. tho i might know spore stuff and songs (thanks to propaganda and SS lessons)... i'm not exactly a hard core patriotic sporean. heh. but i still call it home for sure... like every year... kids were in red and white. sth unpleasant happened that morn... and it wasnt only to me... but haiz... better juz stop here before i start bitching. :X other than that... all was well... wif everyone waving the spore flag way up high. oh yes... there was this particular house with 3 flags! talking abt being patriotic man.

book week was fun. besides the part when I haf to help out juz because some people are juz so irresponsible. i mean.. hey its her job so y blame it on us? y do you or the rest of us haf to do it. ask her to do it lah. and she gets away wif it?!??! *shakes head. sheesh... ok besides that.. it was fun fun fun. the kids were sssoooooooo adorable in their costumes. we were supposed to dress up as a storyubook character. esp Bumblebee! yes! bumblebee was in sch. haha. he was sooooooo cuteee. the rest were cute too. pirates, ballarinas, mary poppins and others. i muz say.. the teachers were also cool! we all dress up. something minah wld like. as she wld put it: feeling feeling. haha. and guess what i was... a cat wearing boots ;) sorry.. pics not uploaded in comp yet.

end of term checklist is the most tedious to check off. had to scrub chairs, tables, cubbies.. areas of responsibilities. sheesh... tiring! stayed back late that day juz to finish things off juz so i dun haf to come back during the hols. heh. juz glad i dun haf to do the discovery table anymore. and hoping the things are still intact. things that goes onto the table sometimes juz dun come back the way it was. scary things these kids can do. some call it exploring and creativity. i'd juz call it vandalism.

HiNi

2009-07-19T21:40:00.002+08:00

wa lao eh... for the second time!!!!! i should be upstairs!!!! why oh why did they put me downstairs... see lah... no extended holiday. haiz.. and both brothers are fr my class!!! erghhhhhhhhhhhh... i should be upstairs!!!! or they should close my class too!!! :/

tmr's ratio wld probably be 1:1. wont be surprised. muz wash toys everyday again. erghhhhh... such tedious work!!!

*tries to calm down... things happen for a reason... things happen for a reason... maybe the sch wld shut dwn for a week starting fr tues? well i dun mind that too since i haf an assignment due next sun.

term starts fr tmr. the mad rush starts again. at least i'm not crazy enough to take 6 modules again. 4 this time. hope can cope and do better. Insyaallah...

BE ThAnkFuL

2009-07-16T21:54:00.002+08:00

"Be thankful that you don't already have everything you desire,
If you did, what would there be to look forward to?
Be thankful when you don't know something,
For it gives you the opportunity to learn.
"Be thankful for your mistakes.
They will teach you valuable lessons.
Be thankful when you're tired and weary,
Because it means you've made a difference."

hmm...

RoSeS

2009-06-30T00:20:00.002+08:00

Meaning of Color of Roses:

Red
Sincere Love & Respect, Courage & Passion
Send red roses to convey the message of your passionate love for that someone; saying "I love you"

Pink
Grace and Gentility, the rose of sweet thoughts.
Send deep pink roses to show your appreciation & gratitude; saying "Thank you" Send light pink roses to convey admiration and sympathy

Yellow
In the Victorian times, yellow roses meant jealousy. But today, they signify friendship, joy, gladness and freedom, the promise of a new beginning.
Send yellow roses to brighten up someone's day; to congratulate your friends and loved ones during Joyous occasions.

White
Spiritual love & Purity, the rose of confession, the bridal rose; "You are heavenly", "I am worthy of you"
Commonly used as traditional bridal bouquet during weddings to symbolize a happy love. You can nevertheless use them to convey the message of "You are heavenly, I miss you"

Lavender
Love at first sight and enchantment
Send lavender roses of course, to convey the message of your "love at first sight" with that special someone. You can nevertheless also send them if you would like to make a special impression.

Orange
Passionate desire, pure enthusiasm and fascination

1 stalk - Love at 1st Sight
3 stalks - I Love You
7 stalks - I am Infatuated by You
9 stalks - Together as Long as We Live
10 stalks - You are Perfect
11 stalks - You are My Treasured One
12 stalks - Be My Steady
13 stalks - Friends Forever
15 stalks - I am Sorry
20 stalks - I am Sincere Towards You
21 stalks - I am Committed to You
36 stalks - I Will Remember Our Romantic Moments
40 stalks - My Love is Genuine
99 stalks - I Will Love You Till the Day I Die
100 stalks - I am Totally Devoted to You
101 stalks - You are My One and Only
999 stalks - My Love Will Last Till the End of Time

Responses:

1. there's this "brilliant rose" from soo kee which will transcend all traditional meanings given to colored roses. present it to any lady and watch her eyes sparkle in delight.

2. yellow roses are meant for breakup, hence the significance of "friendship, joy, gladness and freedom, the promise of a new beginning."

3. 999 stalks - My Love Will Last Till the End of Time aka "I'm broke till payday next; let's go dutch"

4. who came up with all these in the 1st place anw?? maybe the florists?

5. so orange roses are for f**k buddies... shite, i've been sending white roses

MJ

2009-06-28T22:41:00.002+08:00

end of the King of Pop. Ironic how some critisized him for the past few years when he was still alive and yet cry and grief when he's dead. Anyway, still wondering how one can be in debt of $500 000 000! (did i get the numbers right? or maybe it was 1 zero short. but still... that's a lot of zeros)

oh well... we'll still remember him thru his music and he's someone we'll probably tell our grandchildren about. the "during my time..." kinda conversation and stories. his music will still live on. 2 of my personal favourite:

Black or White

I took my baby
On a saturday bang
Boy is that girl with you
Yes were one and the same
Now I believe in miracles
And a miracle
Has happened tonight
But, if
Youre thinkin
About my baby
It dont matter if youre
Black or white
They print my message
In the saturday sun
I had to tell them
I aint second to none
And I told about equality
An its true
Either youre wrong
Or youre right
But, if
Youre thinkin
About my baby
It dont matter if youre
Black or white
I am tired of this devil
I am tired of this stuff
I am tired of this business
Sew when the
Going gets rough
I aint scared of
Your brother
I aint scared of no sheets
I aint scare of nobody
Girl when the
Goin gets mean
(l. t. b. rap performance)
Protection
For gangs, clubs
And nations
Causing grief in
Human relations
Its a turf war
On a global scale
Id rather hear both sides
Of the tale
See, its not about races
Just places
Faces
Where your blood
Comes from
Is where your space is
Ive seen the bright
Get duller
Im not going to spend
My life being a color
(michael)
Dont tell me you agree with me
When I saw you kicking dirt in my eye
But, if
Youre thinkin about my baby
It dont matter if youre black or white
I said if
Youre thinkin of
Being my baby
It dont matter if youre black or white
I said if
Youre thinkin of
Being my brother
It dont matter if youre
Black or white
Ooh, ooh
Yea, yea, yea now
Ooh, ooh
Yea, yea, yea now
Its black, its white
Its tough for you
To get by
Its black , its white, whoo
Its black, its white
Its tough for you
To get by
Its black , its white, whoo

Heal the World

Spoken by child:
'Think about the generations,
and say we wanna make it a better
Place for our children and our children's children, so that they...
They, they...
They know it's a better world for them.
And think if they can make it a better place...'

There's a place in your heart
And I know that it is love
And this place could be much
Brighter than tomorrow
And if you really try
You'll find there's no need to cry
In this place you'll feel
There's no hurt or sorrow
There are ways to get there
If you care enough for the living
Make a little space
Make a better place
Heal the world
Make it a better place
For you and for me
And the entire human race
There are people dying
If you care enough for the living
Make a better place
For you and for me
If you want to know why
There's a love that cannot lie
Love is strong
It only cares of joyful giving
If we try we shall see
In this bliss we cannot feel, fear or dread
We stop existing and start living
Then it feels that always
Love's enough for us growing
Make a better world
Make a better world
Heal the world
Make it a better place
For you and for me
And the entire human race
There are people dying
If you care enough for the living
Make a better place
For you and for me
And the dream we were conceived in
Will reveal a joyful face
And the world we once believed in
Will shine again in grace
Then why do we keep strangling life
Wound this earth, crucify its soul
Though it's plain to see
This world is heavenly
Be God's glow
We could fly so high
Let our spirits never die
In my heart
I feel you are all my brothers
Create a world with no fear
Together we'll cry happy tears
See the nations
Turn their swords into plowshares
We could really get there
If you cared enough for the living
Make a little space
To make a better place
Heal the world
Make it a better place
For you and for me
And the entire human race
There are people dying
If you care enough for the living
Make a better place
For you and for me
Heal the world
Make it a better place
(Oh, my friends)
For you and for me
And the entire human race
There are people dying
If you care enough for the living
Make a better place
For you and for me
You and for me
You and for me
Heal the world we live in
Save it for our children

PamPErInG HoLiDaY

2009-06-28T22:11:00.003+08:00

ok... it's been a while. been too lazy to update this blog. no surprises. heh. well, been busy too. juggling work n study has been challenging. not that there wasnt any interesting things that happen lately esp in sch, juz kinda lazy to jot it down here. for short, i'm surrounded by the word STRANGE. sometimes i juz wonder why people do the things they do and it's sure tough to look at ourselves in the mirror and realising our own faults.

the hols is almost over. in a few hours time. it was a pampering holiday. since i din travel far, batam oso jadi la. pampered ourselves wif a spa massage by the sea. the sound of the natural waves. that was relaxing. shopping wa gd too. many great buys. fav buy: swimming suit for muslimah. got it at a 50% discount! woo hoo! tho i tot the taxi ride was kinda dangerous. esp when the doors cant be opened fr inside! and kept bumping into "Laurie Chan". the younger and smaller version. hehe. and once again, we were in search of sotong and ikan kering. tak abis abis! *shakes head.

qn of the trip: "Where are all the people?"
qn back fr the trip: "Why are there so many people?"
s'pore's juz too crowded for comfort at times. quote "they are in your face whether you like it or not"

so besides the very short trip tp a place where you can still see the s'pore city skyline (is that sad or wat?!) decided to paper myself back here too. hee. went for manicure + pedicure, hair wash + hair cut and full facial.

what can i say? it's been a pampering holiday... :)

ReASoN

2009-04-08T22:40:00.003+08:00

things happen for a reason and He knows best. that's wat I believe...

so i went to sch on sat. stepped in at 9.10 a.m. lectuerer not there. heng ah... waited.. 9.20... still not there.. hmm... now where is she... 9.30... people start to make enquiries... 9.40... call came in. lecturer uncontactable so class cancelled! ERGH! bloody toot!!! it's a saturday morning!! our precious weekend!!! we could haf been sleeping!!! and haf make up lesson. how irresponsible!! the school's personnel din even bother to come down to tell us personally.ERGH! yes, we cursed and swore. so what next? some of us tot we should crash another lect and we did. haha. the last time i remembered crashing a lect was in NIE... crashed an engineering lect. :P the lecturer was kind enough to accomodate the lost sheep.

but u know what.. things happen for a reason. and it's probably for the best. y? the deadline is extended!! haha. so happy. it turned out positive after all. considering that i was supposed to hand in 2 assignments on the same day... now only one. not so stressed. hee... i dunno wat happened to her, but thank God for the extension.

went to Az's house wif jas after that and played dress up. haha. deprived childhood :P well i envy kids nowadays... in my sch at least. their indoor time is so fun! i dun remember it to be that fun during my good old days. so had to take the opportunity to dress up in a saree. maybe that'll be the only time in my life. wif a professional camera in hand... ah hui.. take picture take picture. so the makeover sessions prove to be useful after all.. so drama mama. haha. hoping to get the pics soon.

went to little india after that to shop. i wanna go to india!!! i miss india. in fact, i travelling. :( it's incredible india yr this year so it might probably come true. good bargains ard... anyone wanna go wif me?

LiFe Is ShoRt

2009-03-24T00:12:00.002+08:00

Life is short
Break the rules
Forgive quickly
Kiss passionately
Love truly
Laugh constantly
And never stop smiling no matter how strange life is
Life is not always the party we expected to be but as long as we are here, we should smile and be grateful.

Just realised I made some mistakes in my assignment but what the heck, I've already turnitin. juz moving on n hope for the better. Next time, no more last min work! tho i did quite a no. of readings... which i din use. sigh. juz looking at it as extra info learnt. whatever... life's too short for regrets. ;)

A = x + y + z

2009-03-08T23:09:00.002+08:00

This cant wait. Juz saw this quote fr einstein.

If A is a success in life, then A equals x plus y plus z. Work is x; y is play; and z is keeping your mouth shut.

LOL. tho funny, true ain't it? :X

CuLTURe SHoCK

2009-03-08T22:38:00.002+08:00

first, i wanna say, "UniSIM website is SCREWED!!!" i dunno what the tech team is doing, but think they should spend more time to improve their security system or firewall or whatever u call it. the one that prevents hackers fr entering and putting virus on the website! it doesnt take a comp geek to know that! gosh! hello... u r putting our computers at risk!

oh yes, i forgot to mention in my previous post. went midnight cycling a few days wif th e Onzah team before CNY. coverd 40 clicks! achievement! hee. it was tiring. but fun. well, it was one of my "to do" list and now i can check it off. ;) yes, i was whiny. haha. but theeveryone was nice. even mr germany. hee. they cld haf gone much faster for sure but they were accomodating. thanks peeps. till next time!

now the culture shock. so i like surprises. i oso like planning for them. BUT, when i do, they are meant for FRENS whom i hold dear. i mean, at this age, we dun really celebrate our birthdays much anyway. ok, at most, my fren's kids. yes, time haf evolved such that fr engagements to weddings to kids birthday parties. TODAY tho... i was involved in a surprise birthday party. i mean... who dare to put their name in the "no" column anyway. pressure pressure. i muz say to those involved in the planning, they are very semangat. flowers, gift, cake, decor, food and even games lah! it was special to some i guess. for the rest/most of us, we are juz going wif the flow. imagine going to a birthday party for your principal or manager or someone WAY UP there (whom u hardly speak to, and probably dun even remember much of u after the interview, unless you screw up)! like...err... ok... what do u say or do? or even put a face to it.

hmm... so i still need to get used to a new culture...

PerHApS x3

2009-03-03T14:45:00.003+08:00

well i'm glad its over (took too long actually) and moving on... this just reminds me of u. no offence ya. hee.

Perhaps Perhaps Perhaps - Doris Day

you won't admit you love me
and so how am i ever to know
you always tell me
perhaps perhaps perhaps
a million times i've asked you
and then
i ask you over
again
you only answer
perhaps perhaps perhaps
if you can't make your mind up
we'll never get started
and i don't wanna wind up
being parted
broken-hearted
so if you really love me
say yes
but if you don't dear
confess
and please don't tell me
perhaps perhaps perhaps
perhaps perhaps perhaps
if you can't make your mind up
we'll never get started
and i don't wanna wind up
being parted
broken-hearted
so if you really love me
say yes
but if you don't dear
confess
and please don't tell me
perhaps perhaps perhaps
perhaps perhaps perhaps
perhaps perhaps perhaps

It'S BeEn a WhiLe

2009-03-03T14:09:00.003+08:00

ok so it's been a while now. well maybe more than a while considering that it's almost 2 months since i last logged in. cant even remember my password. heh. not that i've got nothing to write abt since jan. there're lots actually. let's juz blame it on the lazy bug.

for short, jan and feb passed by very quickly as i got to meet frens whom i havnt met for a long time. let's c...
ex colleagues even sha who's living down under came back for a while...
hss frens at breeks wif lots of funny pics...
nie frens to celebrate burfdays and special treats. such a sporting bunch...
surina and baby (ok, maybe toddler)...
nyjc classmates (to think we are ALL still STUDENTS! after 10 years!)...
eldds frens (crappy as usual wif lots of laughter)...
a fren of a fren (haha. wierd. but i cant put a finger on this one. ponyo! ;) ) after 2 yrs? ...
nin's frens (well some of them are common frens) for the "tak menjadi" futsal at ECP so played on the sand in the dark and got bruises the next day. PAIN!...
and him of coz (to some special/different places) ...

so thats about most of my frens. love to meet up wif them once in a while. missing u already!

ok, lets get back to the present. so jan was gd. in fact fr sep to jan was GREAT! feb, reality sets in. u know.. sometimes, no matter how much u plan, only He can make it happen. Fate, as some ple call it. no matter how far one tries to run away fr it, it doesnt get any further.

so... i left the profession thinking i wanna do sth else. die die say wanna find sth else. i gave myself till end of feb b4 i will try for the same job again considering that my account probably wont hold much longer. applied for many many jobs and only ONE teaching job. in fact, i dun even know what i was applying for. when the call for interview came, i dint even know the position i was applying for! i had to ask another interviewee. nice makcik. hee. and yes, i got the job, to my surprise. it was that easy. so i say, it's fated. i'm fated to teach! no matter how much i try to run away fr it. perhaps there's more to it than meets the eye. perhaps, perhaps, perhaps. praying that it's all for the best.

JuMpiNg ShiP

2009-01-07T16:26:00.003+08:00

Considering that Friendster blog decides to screw up every now and then, just tot i should jump ship. Not that I have lots to say or write abt, but hey, sometimes, i just wanna jot it down somewhere. Diaries just dun work for me. It never did.

Anyway, the timing ain't so bad. Well, I've closed a significant chapter in my life last Sep and since it has just turned 2009, it's time to open a new chapter in my life. Going back to writing "student" as my occupation needs some getting used to. Tho i still need to find a job. I must say, as I read my past entries since 2005, many of them were written in angst. Some of which I cant even recall what I was so angry abt. Perhaps it's better this way. Why harbour the negative thoughts rite. That makes life even bitchier than it already is. A fren once said, "Nobody said it was easy. No one ever said it would be this hard." As I mentioned in my very first post before,

"well, for those who are reading this blog of mine, dun expect much of those "life is beautiful" or "it has been a great day" or "ain’t the present a gift indeed" kinda postings coz the harsh reality of life is, life sucks. it’s what you do to a sucky life and hopefully it wont be THAT sucky after all. good times never last long. it’s a sad thing but its true isn’t it?"

A pessimist some might say. I can't say I'm feeling that way now coz I'm currently enjoying a bummer's life - while it lasts. Sadly, I've got to face the reality of life as my bank account starts depreciating slowly but surely. Anyway, I'll try hard to look at the brighter side of life. Hey, I'm still hopeful for better years and memories ahead. Insya' allah.

For anyone who wanna know where i left off, it's http://lorynnm.blog.friendster.com/