MY Guy

okie... let's talk abt this in the open coz i'm in the "W" state.

so so so... hmm.. wat can i say. disappointed? well, maybe a little. den again, i din haf much expectations in the first place. i haf to say i'm no saint. tho i might be nice. or i can choose to be nice. this post WAS meant to be really really really hurtful. you know how good i can be at that. but ok la, i shall be nicer. tho i haf to reiterate, im no saint.

hmm... i wonder how some people sleep at night. don't their conscience bug them when they've done sth so wrong? do they even haf conscience at all? how do you live life without moral values? how do you even live your life? do watever you want, be it right or wrong? sociologists wld say crime and deviance is culturally instilled in everyone. however, there are more universal ones which most societies wld frown upon. this includes what you did. people don't need to be sociologists to know that. in fact, even animals do. except one which i have decided to delete after typing. i'm suppose to be nicer so i'll try to keep that in mind.

somehow, i'm glad people around you still have some moral values instilled in them and values they hold true. surely that's important. we should have principles in life and hold them true coz them it helps to shape who we are and keeps us strong.

words fr a fren (somewat similar):

she: so what do you look for in a guy?

me: i dunno. i dun haf a checklist. i try not to expect too much.

she: you shouldn't do that. coz if u think that way, u'll just say "yes" to just about anyone who comes along, and then realise he's not the one you want or deserve. you should at least think of some qualities that you want in your guy. qualities that you think is important for them to have. and look for those who have those qualities.

so i sat and thought. wat qualities do i really want in my guy? qualities which i cant live without. of coz there are many. too many to state. then again, cannot have too much expectations.

one of the most important quality that i want in my guy is trustworthiness and the fact that he can gimme a sense of security. i'd give my guy space for him to do whatever he wants and with whoever he wants, girls and guys alike. surely i'd be jealous once in a while, but i'll still trust him. i want a guy who is strong enough to say "Don't even try. I'll not be taken in," when temptations arise. i want a guy who has principles strong enough to say "i want to protect the girl" and thus draws clear boundaries to others and myself. i want the guy to be in control of himself and tell me, "Yes, but control ah!" i want a guy whom i can trust my life with and tell me "Can work something out" when things dont seem to go our way or when i feel that things are not going to work out. Yes, i need that assurance. Following that, he does something about it. i want a guy who is creative enough to think of rational possibilities to make things happen. i want a guy who dares to say "Bottomline is, anak dara orang, dun play play."

i also think having a sense of humour is important. i want him to be able to see the lighter things in life even when the going gets tough. saying matter-of-fact things in a not-so-matter-of-fact way and make me laugh it off. i want him to be able to make me smile, laugh and cry tears of joy. i want him to be quick and witty enough in his jokes to sweep me off my feet. that ain't easy i muz say. jokes which are lame yet intelligent at the same time. i likkeeeee.... *smitten-ed

chances are, if he has strong moral values to guide his actions now, i'm banging that they will continue to do so in the future.

yes, i want such a guy. with the rest of the other virtues if i may add. Then qn is, is there such a guy? one in a million? one in two million? maybe more? am i asking for too much?

*smiles. the above quotes are not said by me but to me.

Then you'll ask, do these guys want me? well... i'd say, "Can work something out". or at least i'll try. haha. ;) bottomline is, THE Teacher (not me. i'm not a teacher anymore) has given them a tick: PASSED. and they are NOT ATTACHED. i ain't going to be a witch with a capital "B" in that sense, if u get wat i mean. Y? coz it hurts. and i wouldn't want another woman to feel how i felt before. It just ain't right.