ShoPPinG = InVEStMENt

You're a wise investment shopper

You are a smart shopper who sees your purchases as an investment. Which is why you won't sacrifice quality for low price -- you're willing to fork out more on well-made pieces such as a well-tailored dress or a pair of comfy leather heels because you know they go a long way.

That doesn't mean you're a spendthrift, because you know exactly what's worth splurging and what isn't. For example, you won't be easily seduced into buying things you don't need -- even if they're on sale. But if your favorite beauty products are marked down, you'd stock a couple of bottles to take advantage of the discount.

Thanks to your savvy shopping strategy, you own an impressive wardrobe without breaking the bank!

oh well, call it watever u want... it's the GSS! but sigh... muz check account... cannot splurge... but it's ok! coz Allah is kind and I'm thankful for the rezeki that He gave to me. :)

U MeLAyu?

last week, i went to an indian rest at little india wif az. this waiter came up and started speaking to me in malay. he spoke so fast, i couldn't catch wat he was saying! da la my melayu ni power sangat... i was like thinking.. pak cik.. if wanna speak malay oso, at least slow down ah. and so.. as much as i tried to speak in malay while using some english words... after a while.. he asked, "Awak Melayu tak? Awak Melayu kan? Apersal tak cakap Melayu?" I'm like... pak cik! saya melayu celup lah! bagi lah discount sikit... sheesh... so technically, as long as i know 1/2, in fact 1/4 of teh malay language, i should be alright. aaaaaaaaahahahhahaaaaaa... the excuses i make for myself. :P

ok ok. i'm bad at the language. i admit. and maybe i should work harder to bring honour to the malay community. melayu boleh! Takkan melayu hilang di dunia! oh well...maybe i'm a disgrace. wateva!

so today, i went there again wif mummy. this time, wen he asked, "Melayu?" I said, "Cina! my mother cina!" den he took a good look at my mother. at first he said... "Bukan cina la". den after a while i think he was convinced. lol. *Shakes head.

it was a pretty "strange" conversation over lunch i muz say. i dun usually do this wif my mum. i was saying that one of my gd frens is getting married tmr. and she asked me abt me and Him. i said truthfully, if it's wif Him, 5 yrs. if not, i dunno. she was like.. 5 yrs ah. wah! very long... But i think she really likes Him. but i think she go the hint. she even said that if it doesnt work out, it's His loss. I was like ... wa lao say until like dat. den she cont by saying... "coz it's not easy to find a good mother-in-law like me." I burst into laughter. cheh... mother mother... she say He's a nice boy, haf to go through a lot in life and she sayang Him. lol. again... mother mother...

den here comes the next part... i was telling her that one of my frens divorced recently. den she like go in to "kancheong" mode. she said, "It's ok if you marry late. as long as you dun get a divorce. so it's ok." u see how my mother sayang Him!

oh well... mummy's views aside, for now... let's juz take a choo choo train ride... slow and steady... and see how it goes... no expectations = no disappointments. no more roller coaster please!

err... are u actually managing my finances for me?!?!??! AAAAAAAHAHAHHAHAAAAA. feels like u are my manager! well i'll leave the negotiating to u den since u are the biz guy anyway. watever it is, the best deal sounds goood... at the end of the day, juz gimme the best that u can get ok. lol. i'm actually trusting a friend wif this like 100% and juz going wif the flow... am i for real!?!??! actually, i'm juz plain lazy :P

If I wAit ...

i tot... ok...maybe today will be a gd day. i shall make the call today. but u know wat. that sms, wth was tat all abt sia. i was like HUH? wat makes u or her think that i'll do that? y suddenly i become a suspect? wat did i do this time? do i even deserve that? such an accusing tone. sheesh... *rolls eyes.

so i guess today is not the day. today is not a gd day. i shall let today pass... perhaps it wld be better if i wait... wait for a better day.

*takes a deep breath. ergh!!!!! it's coming back. it always comes back when such things happen. it's a biological rxn i guess. the way it handles the stress. i'm feeling sick. sick in the stomach. again. ergh! i might juz throw everything up. i'm trying to keep it down. help!

in the mean time, i shalll wait...

Crying In The Rain ~ A-ha

I'll never let you see

The way my broken heart is hurting me

I've got my pride and I know how to hide

All the sorrow and pain

I'll do my crying in the rain

If I wait for cloudy skies

You won't know the rain from the tears in my eyes

You'll never know that I still love you

So though the heartaches remain

I'll do my crying in the rain

Raindrops falling from heaven

Will never wash away my misery

But since we're not together

I'll wait for stormy weather

To hide these tears I hope you'll never see

Someday when my crying's done

I'm gonna wear a smile and walk in the sun

I may be a fool

But till then, darling, you'll never see me complain

I'll do my crying in the rain

I'll do my crying in the rain

I'll do my crying in the rain

I'll do my crying in the rain

oh well... it doesn't help with such erratic weather nowadays. sigh...

BeCOz OF YoU

Because Of You- Kelly Clarkson

I will not make the same mistakes that you did
I will not let myself
Cause my heart so much misery
I will not break the way you did,
You fell so hard
I've learned the hard way
To never let it get that far

Because of you
I never stray too far from the sidewalk
Because of you
I learned to play on the safe side so I don't get hurt
Because of you
I find it hard to trust not only me, but everyone around me
Because of you
I am afraid

I lose my way
And it's not too long before you point it out
I cannot cry
Because I know that's weakness in your eyes
I'm forced to fake
A smile, a laugh everyday of my life
My heart can't possibly break
When it wasn't even whole to start with

Because of you
I never stray too far from the sidewalk
Because of you
I learned to play on the safe side so I don't get hurt
Because of you
I find it hard to trust not only me, but everyone around me
Because of you
I am afraid

I watched you die
I heard you cry every night in your sleep
I was so young
You should have known better than to lean on me
You never thought of anyone else
You just saw your pain
And now I cry in the middle of the night
For the same damn thing

Because of you
I never stray too far from the sidewalk
Because of you
I learned to play on the safe side so I don't get hurt
Because of you
I try my hardest just to forget everything
Because of you
I don't know how to let anyone else in

Because of you
I'm ashamed of my life because it's empty
Because of you
I am afraid

Because of you
Because of you

sigh... i dunno lah... this whole emo thing is juz sooo tiring. im juz too tired to think or argue anymore. is this working out? well i'm trying my best. really i am. but i guess sometimes, my best is just not good enough. not in your eyes. and i'm tired. i'm tired of trying to be the best that i can be and yet still feel all the heartache. yes, I HATE HER. the very sound of her name juz irks the living hell out of me. so, i should call her she-who-shall-not-be-named. hmm.. sounds like a harry potter character, but it sounds better to my ears. u can say watever u wanna say la, i still feel that way. ya ya ya ya ya.. u can say it's me. well.. it was HER in the 1st place. u know.. people should juz stay away fr what is not theirs. coz feeling sorry after dat juz dun work. it's like driving a car over u on purpose, after the injured person haf to go thru operation and all, u say, oh, i'm sorry. like... hello... do already den say sorry ah. i say, think before u do it ok. coz it hurts. but oh well, what goes ard comes ard.

so is it me or it is me? different perspective. depends on which viewpoint u r looking at. ok, so much of pointing fingers... so... here goes...

i'm sorry for screaming,

i'm sorry for being the way i am,

im sorry for being incomplete,

im sorry for being imperfect,

im sorry for not being able understanding completely,

im sorry for not being there all the time,

im sorry for being annoying,

im sorry for being so difficult,

im sorry for not being able to chill,

im sorry for being such an inconvenience,

im sorry for being so bothersome in your life,

i guess, im juz sorry for being me.

so perhaps, this me should juz go and not bother you any longer. den perhaps, life would be better for YOU.

CLAsSIC

She said, "Why are u doing this again? You are doing this for a MEAL?! From ******?!" LOL. that was CLASSIC! i juz cant help remembering that expression. it was sooooooooo farnieeeeee. LOL. i think the next line would probably be, "GOODNESS! WHYYYYYY????" LOL. before that could come out, i was already giving a sheepish smile. LOL. *shakes head. yah yah yah yah yah... i dunno okie. i dunno why. it has been like this for the past 10 years or so. the things i do... MADNESS!

tho i haf His no., i never tot i wld actually contact Him personally. at least the last time, u asked for me but yes, i would agree it'll be too much of me to ask u to contact Him over this matter. so yes... i did it. what could the worst outcome be right? the most He'll juz say that He's not interested. anyway, i'm not counting on meeting up wif Him anytime soon. for a cheap thrill ride (which came at a good time), i would haf called Him directly. but then, after pondering for a while, better not let emotions get in the way. let's sms n test water 1st. at least i'll save myself from some embarrassment and rejection if any. lol.

so she asked me who this person is. i said he's the male version of me. ok well, i hafn't talked abt this for some time now. anyway, not in terms of looks, but character and personality. pretty interesting eh, finding some1 who's like u. it's like talking to "yourself". but somehow, it's scary. so she said, "I think u guys can be good friends." I was like "hmm..." *raise eyebrow. well, given the history behind it all, highly unlikely. then She said, "well, at least there's some1 you can do the things u like with."coming from Her, that's quite a shock. i was like... "ya hor..." except for canoeing and running. but... but... but... no lah. i think it'll still be awkward. lol.

so yes... i'm still waiting for a reply. if there isnt, well... i guess it's juz not meant to be. the ball is in His court.

ShoCk TheRApY

some shock therapy would to some good at times. but at 2 am in the morn, i'd say thanks for waking me up to do my assignment! sheesh... i din expect Him to know him. ok, this might get confusing but, ergh... juz thinking abt him (2nd him) makes me shrug my shoulders. well, i knew that he knows some of my frens, but i din know he knew Him. i was randomly looking at his photos when i saw His foto and i actually blurted out his name. as she would say, terperanjat bobo! and at the time when i'll need her help to get to Him. Well having 2 Lorynn(s) around can be quite fun rite rite? or perhaps awkward. Hmm...

oh yes, and this, tho it might have come as a shock, i wanna say,

If ever (or i maybe should say WHEN) a day comes when you find a better person than me, juz remember that what i gave you is the best of what i have and what i am to you is the best that i could be.

EnoUGH?

sigh... i'm tired. tired, tired, tired... no, it's not abt studies this time. i'm like... hai... tired. when do you tell yourself enough is enough? do u know that enough is enough when u get to that point in time? sigh...

i did say that 1 mth thing like don't work on me rite? i dunno la... it feels like going back to those months prior to it... macam... sigh... sakit hati pun ada. malas pun ada. want to say live and let live, move on... den dun keep bringing it back ah. if keep bringing it back, how to move on rite. den if everytime oso sakit hati, i dun think that's the solution to it. u can say, oh, i dun haf to see wat. while it might be the case of wat u dun know u dun miss. but is ignorance really a bliss? it's coz of ignorance in the 1st place that things escalate to an unbearable level sometimes.

maybe it's me? fine it's me then. watever la eh. u can put the blame on me if it makes u feel any better. wat is all these worth again? is it even worth it or not? sigh... i'm juz tired. as i've said, to go back to those months, somehow, that quiet 1 mth seems more serene. shhh.... perhaps, i was juz getting used to it, away from arguments, away from benda2 yg sakitkan hati.

are u really happy wif this?

Weeeeeeeeeeeeeeee.....

we had such a fun time on sun, rolling on the grass (well ok, i was the only one who did it), and picniking on the grass, all under a black and white roof. lol. minah minah... u r still as funny as ever. but hey, it's a nice place. i like the way u did it up. and those little cups and saucers. :)

it's been a whole since i met some of them. it was fun fun fun. all the updates a.k.a. gossips! and for the 1st time, i played wii! it was fun. but i think it was funnier than fun. lol. u c teachers turning into kids all over again. and i can imagine those guys playing wii on the floating kelong. mesti riuh rendah! wif the place bobbing up and down, it's dangerous! lol. but once u r into the game, nothing else matters! i muz say it was a work out man. but good, coz i need to burn off the calories. like real eh. lol. rabbids! after that, minah introduced monopoly deal... i looked at her, she look at me, i said, can we play wii instead? lol. thinking game... alamak... maybe next time ah. i'm the no-brainer game type ah. too lazy to think so much at that point in time. hee.

the next day, my arms hurt. that's how lazy n weak i've become! lack of exercise. juz bumming ard at home. sheesh... m suppose to study and all. but wat am i doing? PROCRASTINATING AGAIN. heh... maybe i should get a wii too. so i can exercise at home while playing. hehe. but i guess it's no fun playing alone. that's y she was so excited to haf playmates ard. *smiles and shakes head.

well, it oso got me thinking... are the youth nowadays more violent? i wont be surprised if they are and wii is one of the reasons y. the act of beating up a poor rabbid in the name of a game might sound fun and harmless. but with wii, the player actually performs the act physically in with the sole motive of hitting the rabbid. hmm... well, it's only a game and a cute little rabbid. but wat if we were to replace the controller wif a sword? or a baton? the act of hitting is real enough to cause hurt in real life. while attitudes can lead to behaviour, likewise, behaviour can lead to attitudes. so what kind of attitudes do these behaviour lead to then? scary eh... we are adults, so i'd say we are probably more sensible. but kids? teenagers? hmm.. sth to think abt. in the last crime watch, an 18 yr old boy committed murder and the mastermind is a 16 yr old girl. sheesh...

and i'm not surprise y our kids dun engage in outdoor activities nowadays. y do we need to go to a tennis court when we can do it right in front of our tv sets, regardless day or night, rain or shine.