Give it Today

Give it Today

Just because you're sad, doesn't mean it's forever
Just because it happened, doesn't mean it's all bad
Give it one more day
Give it today

Just because you stumble, doesn't mean that you'll fall
Just because you're scared, doesn't mean you'll unravel
Give it one more day
Give it today

Just because it's an ordeal, doesn't mean it's the end
Just because you've been wounded, doesn't mean you won't heal
Give it one more day
Give it today

Just because you ache, doesn't mean there's no answer
Just because you crack, doesn't mean you will break
Give it one more day
Give it today

It's just a matter of time
Time will make it different
What will make it change?
It's just a matter of mind
Give it one more day
Give it today

Don't think about yesterday
Don't worry about tomorrow
Today is the only day
Give it today

Just because you don't know it, doesn't mean it'll change
There is hope for the taking if you just try to permit
The tough times to roll, the hard times to be
Light in the darkness
And today is your goal
It can get better
It will get better
Give it today.

~Annonymous

PerfeCTly ImpERfECt

"I'm not a perfect girl.
My hair does not always
stay in place & I spill things alot.
I'm pretty clumsy and sometimes
I have a broken heart.
My friends and I
sometimes fight & maybe
some days nothing goes right.
But when I think about it
and take a step back
I remember how amazing life
truly is & that maybe, juz maybe,
I like being imperfect..."

MuMMy

We cant choose our mothers. like duh. but hey... u can somehow choose your mother-in-law no? if you cld choose, if i may say, my mummy will make one GREAT MIL man. in fact no need to wait for marriage. even b4 marriage already she so nice. too nice if there is such a thing. SHESSHHH. she surprises me at times. wif the things she does and say abt him! *shrugs shoulders. even NOW. and i go like -_-. as ironic as this might sound, she needs to get over it. seems like she sayang him a lot, maybe too much. -_- so it's his loss in this sense. haha. well... hopefully i'll give her a son-in-law in a few years time, for her to be nicer to. haha. how lucky that guy wld be. somehow i dun think my sis-in-law gets that treatment. not as great i wld say. in the meantime, hang on tight. :p

heard abt some horror PIL. Scaryyyyy... THAT was one of the reasons y i'm too scared to consider him right fr the start. it's not him. the guy's alright. but the MOTHER scares me A LOT. but err... as my mum wld say, "i dowan you to suffer in her hands." A living matriarch. scary u know. but the guy's nice. really nice. the dad's ok too. but buy one get one free leh. no choice how... well if i ever go Aust, i shall look for him. Pretty sure he has a nice hse which i can bunk in. and probably the car too? pretty please...? ok la, u drive. i prefer to be driven. haha. ;p but not mad ah! *knocks riz on the head. but i like your wit, as always ;)

MY Guy

okie... let's talk abt this in the open coz i'm in the "W" state.

so so so... hmm.. wat can i say. disappointed? well, maybe a little. den again, i din haf much expectations in the first place. i haf to say i'm no saint. tho i might be nice. or i can choose to be nice. this post WAS meant to be really really really hurtful. you know how good i can be at that. but ok la, i shall be nicer. tho i haf to reiterate, im no saint.

hmm... i wonder how some people sleep at night. don't their conscience bug them when they've done sth so wrong? do they even haf conscience at all? how do you live life without moral values? how do you even live your life? do watever you want, be it right or wrong? sociologists wld say crime and deviance is culturally instilled in everyone. however, there are more universal ones which most societies wld frown upon. this includes what you did. people don't need to be sociologists to know that. in fact, even animals do. except one which i have decided to delete after typing. i'm suppose to be nicer so i'll try to keep that in mind.

somehow, i'm glad people around you still have some moral values instilled in them and values they hold true. surely that's important. we should have principles in life and hold them true coz them it helps to shape who we are and keeps us strong.

words fr a fren (somewat similar):

she: so what do you look for in a guy?

me: i dunno. i dun haf a checklist. i try not to expect too much.

she: you shouldn't do that. coz if u think that way, u'll just say "yes" to just about anyone who comes along, and then realise he's not the one you want or deserve. you should at least think of some qualities that you want in your guy. qualities that you think is important for them to have. and look for those who have those qualities.

so i sat and thought. wat qualities do i really want in my guy? qualities which i cant live without. of coz there are many. too many to state. then again, cannot have too much expectations.

one of the most important quality that i want in my guy is trustworthiness and the fact that he can gimme a sense of security. i'd give my guy space for him to do whatever he wants and with whoever he wants, girls and guys alike. surely i'd be jealous once in a while, but i'll still trust him. i want a guy who is strong enough to say "Don't even try. I'll not be taken in," when temptations arise. i want a guy who has principles strong enough to say "i want to protect the girl" and thus draws clear boundaries to others and myself. i want the guy to be in control of himself and tell me, "Yes, but control ah!" i want a guy whom i can trust my life with and tell me "Can work something out" when things dont seem to go our way or when i feel that things are not going to work out. Yes, i need that assurance. Following that, he does something about it. i want a guy who is creative enough to think of rational possibilities to make things happen. i want a guy who dares to say "Bottomline is, anak dara orang, dun play play."

i also think having a sense of humour is important. i want him to be able to see the lighter things in life even when the going gets tough. saying matter-of-fact things in a not-so-matter-of-fact way and make me laugh it off. i want him to be able to make me smile, laugh and cry tears of joy. i want him to be quick and witty enough in his jokes to sweep me off my feet. that ain't easy i muz say. jokes which are lame yet intelligent at the same time. i likkeeeee.... *smitten-ed

chances are, if he has strong moral values to guide his actions now, i'm banging that they will continue to do so in the future.

yes, i want such a guy. with the rest of the other virtues if i may add. Then qn is, is there such a guy? one in a million? one in two million? maybe more? am i asking for too much?

*smiles. the above quotes are not said by me but to me.

Then you'll ask, do these guys want me? well... i'd say, "Can work something out". or at least i'll try. haha. ;) bottomline is, THE Teacher (not me. i'm not a teacher anymore) has given them a tick: PASSED. and they are NOT ATTACHED. i ain't going to be a witch with a capital "B" in that sense, if u get wat i mean. Y? coz it hurts. and i wouldn't want another woman to feel how i felt before. It just ain't right.

The StORy OF thE EAgLe

nice one. fr a gd fren. :)

Your heart decides who you want in your life.

But your behaviour decides who will stay in your life.

The story of the Eagle

The eagle has the longest life-span among birds.
It can life up to 70 years.
But to reach this age, the eagle must make a hard decision.
In it's 40s,
Its long and flexible talons can no longer grab prey which serves as food.
Its long and sharp beak becomes bent.
Its old-age and heavy wings, due to the thick feathers, become stuck to its chest and make it difficult to fly.
Then, the eagle is left with only two options: die or go through a painful process of change which lasts 150 days.
The process requires the eagle to fly to a mountain top and sit on its nest.
There the eagle knocks its beak against a rock until it plucks out.
After plucking it out, the eagle will wait for a new beak to grow back and andd then it will pluck out its talons.
When the new talons grow back, the eagle starts plucking out its old-aged feathers.
And after five months, teh eagle takes its famous flight of rebirth and lives for 30 more years.

Why is change needed?
Many times, in order to survive, we have to start a change process.
We sometimes need to get rid of old memories, habits and other past traditions.
Only freed from past burdens can we take advantage of the present.

When it rains, most birds head for shelter; the eagle is the only bird that, in order to avoid the rain, starts flying above the cloud.

Winners win by pushing their limits until their limits become the norm.

Nice story that one. Perhaps its time for rebirth. everything happens for a reason and Allah knows best. sometimes we wonder why things happen to us. well... there's a reason for sure. tho we might not know it now... perhaps in the future... perhaps never. but i trust Him for he is All-Knowing.

so ok, after all the roller coaster rides over and over again, YOU win. happy? you can have the "one in a million" trophy which you have always dreamed of. provided that trophy wants you and past resons are out of the window. but hey, chances are, NOW is a good time to make your move!

funny actually this one in a million thingy, i guess it's subjective bah... those were the days i wld say. yes, i remember that feeling. and it's still stuck in here, well somewhere, if i really bother to find it. after all these years... darn thing is he knows it! and takes advantage of it. -_- at least now, i stand up and tell him not to do so. hehe. but no, never going thru THAT wif you again. 1 decade has taught me well enough! a million or not! :P

for me, like wat people here like to say (still wondering if its a a culture), moving forward... ;) The change is painful yes, but i guess we got to endure the pain to get stronger so that we can spread our wings and fly. :)

HeeLLARIouSSSSSS WeEKEnD! Part 2

so that was fri. it was real fun n funny.

sat was overcrowded!!!! lucky get to leave at 3. that oso late. so cannot make it. hope i din scare our new volunteer away. hee. glad its not so crowded now, thankfully. :)

so rushed down to masjid alkaff for my cousin'e farewell doa selamat. may Allah bless your journey to and fro. do well and do us proud. :) this year not bad. got to meet most of my family members. take picture2 some more. been a while since i saw some of them. so big already. and soalan bonus "kak lyna, why everyone call you adik ah?" aaaaahahahhaaaaaaaaa... well im always the adik in the family. and yes, i still kecik! wateverrrrrrrrr.... sesiapa yg panggil saya tante, tak dapat duit raya next yr! HMPH!

after that, the fun n laughter continued...

met one of the most hilarious bunch of friends i have. the ELDDS group!!! been a while and as usual, some people dont turn up at the last minute. but the 6 of us were gd. started wif a scare, then gossips den we said, "dunno wats wrong wif the kids nowadays. we went thru the same thing n we turned out alright." den C juz had to say, " We THINK we turned out alright! we need a third party opinion to be objective." and we really LOL. den i said, "looking at wat we are doing now, ya, i think we do need another opinion." the whole time, we were laughing away at every little thing that someone did. asking the stooooopidessstttttt questions and doing the stttttoooooopidddddeestttttttttt thing. how can we every get bored with each other. oh oh oh the choco cake was GGGOOOODDD.... and we were not shy abt it. went for a few rounds. T n C had a whole bottle of wine! wonder if the wine eventually kicked in.

den we had a tour of the hse. even the toilet and storeroom. we were like... eerrr... ookk.... storeromm no neeed.. and juz before we stepped onto the stairs, T asked... "is this hard wood?" and all of us jus LOL! T!!!! wat are you asking?!!??! of coz laaaaaaaaaaaaa!!!!! HAIYOOOOOOOOO...

But i got to say, the highlight of the day, we were playing wii. and T said that her nephew was playing when the controller flung onto the wall. and well, no points for guessing.. i was playing table tennis wif C. half way thru the game, while i was looking at the tv screen... a controller slammed onto the corner of the tv! one one thousand, two one thousand, three one thousand... silence... Then M went up to the TV. we all looked at each other and was like... OMG! wat happened siaaaaaa.... C was already... OMG! I'm so sorry! and we burst out laughing while feeling worried at the same time. WA LAO EHHHHHH.... sld haf videoed it man. Y almost turned pale! we were like.. eh eh eh... tv ok or not? and M checked the corner, thankfully, it was ok coz got the rubber casing! SHEEESHH! C!!!!!! den we realised the importance of the strap! den we started laughing n laughing n laughing. goodnesssss... and continued playing. LOL.

end of teh day, C was still sorry but no harm done. went to the car and teh couple started their own table tennis match. now we understand the meaning of "help me help you". ;)

all in all.. it was a good weekend. funny fun fun. :)

but somehow, right now, i still wish someone was here.

hEEEEEElIAriOUS WeEKenD! part 1

The weekend started on friday this week. coz we were closed. had Fun Day.

went to HQ and a very serious meeting in the meeting room. we even drove out the other group member! so people, this is serious business! we need to strategise! what is our strategy to win? we should divide our group. who can do the physical stuff? we oso need the brains. think going to have acting. who can act? how do we get there? muz park car nearer to lab. let's look at the individual members. how can we bring each one of them down? we have to bring them down psychologically too! distraction strategy! we need a code!

Nis and San- pretend to fall and get hurt. they'll surely come to help.
Sar - talk abt rabbits. anything abt rabbits
Spen - frisbee
Lee- don't underestimate her.

Muz tell cab uncle to drive fast coz we playing survivor. gif exact chnage. reach here already, alamak, lift not working coz emergency announcement came on. kena climb stairs!!

GOODNESSSSSSSSSS!!!!!!!!!!!!! people.... this is FUN DAY!!! arent we taking this too seriously?!?!?! LOL. it was hilarious!!!!! listening to these doctors, psychologists and cms playing survivor! farnieeeeeeee!

everyone was so hyped up! running here and there and everywhere! so competitive! even the game masters were like... "CHILDREN!!! LISTENNNNNN!!!! you guys are acting like the patients!!!" they couldnt control us. lucky never kena restrain by the cisco people. if kena caught, suj will say, "hey i'm the doctor!" guard will reply, "yeah, that's what everyone says here." *shakes head. and water guns!!!! sheeshhhh... think we were worse than kids!

also, i haf to say budding channel U, suria and vasantham actors and actressess we haf in our team! woohoo!!! noone could tell... LOL. hot, bitter, sour and sweet. YUCKS!!!

it was fun people... and the after part... i dint know! at first was alright. den as time passed by.. it became darker and noiser. and i was like... err.. ok.. where am i again?? *shakes head. i think the guys had too much to drink. wasnt sure if they were trying to be funny wif the cross dressing and homo jokes or it's the alcohol kicking in. don't sit so close to me. i scared. lol. and he made me dance!!!!!!!! dont bully me horrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr....

all in all, it was great fun. and im now munching away wif the tidbits left behind. unhealthy! but thanks. you made my day people. love my department! ;)

ScARy? Or Am I JusZ ScAriNg MySeLF?

so i love my job.
but it's getting scarier by the days. or am I jus scaring myself?

1) He who called juz to tell me that he would not be coming down here like he always does on this particular day. i tot to myself... oookkk... tho you dont haf to tell me...

2) He who comes by a few times a day juz to check if the aircon was working well. sure it was faulty. but i dun think need to come down so many times rite? if got further problem i'll surely call. perhaps he was bored. nothing better to do. came in a few times juz to chat. even after his shift, together wif the receptioninst to play game! The receptioninst oso semangat come here during her break. hmm...

3) He who comes to check if the place is ok... if i'm fine... ok... it's your job to make sure security is maintained and my unit is the only one in use on this floor at the moment... still... hmm... and of coz he came in to chat for a while. hmm...

4) He who came in while i was out. Asked the volunteer if i was working... stayed for a while and left before i came back. wat was that abt??? i never knew who he was. hmm...

5) He who comes in almost everyday during his break. asks me if i had eaten, offered to buy food and bring it to me!!! I'm like HUH???

OK.... when i put it this way, this IS getting scary!!!! maybe i'm juz thinking and analyzing too much. bottom line is... jgn nak SS. nanti paiseh sendiri, dunno where to put my face. perhaps they are juz being friendly.

but on another note, i wonder why some people juz dont get the hint. sacrificial some might say? or juz plain *toot*. well i can be very the straightforward and blunt. and it hurts. but some people juz dont get it even when it is being told to them at point blank! sheesh... how else should anyone put it to you?!

sometimes, you should save yourself some dignity and love yourself a little more. been there, done that, learnt it the hard way. never going to do it ever again. like wat a friend once told me, "I don't think he's the kind who likes girls flinging herself at him." likewise, i wanna say it to guys. coz at the end of the day, someone, maybe more, will eventually get hurt. coz people can get opportunistic and take advantage of the situation. including myself i muz say. so i admit it. guess the question is, wat are we going to do abt it? do we sit, enjoy the attention, pounce on the opportunity to take advantage of the other person juz coz he/she has a soft spot on us? or do we treat them like every other friends we have and not give in as much? the devil whispers..."aren't the benefits juz too much to give up?" what do you say?

to the one who keeps giving in n getting the worse end of the bargain remember, "sometimes, he's juz not that into you" or "she" for that matter. do read the previous post on that.

Thank YOU!

ok, so the ranting's done.

now let's look at the brighter side.

i do love my job. yes i do. despite trying times... i still do and i'm thankful for it. but still, yes, i wish someone was here.

wanna say a big thank you for the people who helped when i needed them the most.

Thanks to F, who have always been around keeping me company and jaga-ing this place while i'm out. and packing the stuff. to do it alone wld haf taken a much longer time and energy! i'm so drained out. till today! TGIM!

Thanks to K. yes, it's your job. still, i appreciate it. i really needed to sit and rest. i'm tired. really tired. so thanks for doing wat i told you to do. appreciate it.

Thanks to S for listening to my whines when i needed to vent it out the most. for the first time the conversation was THAT serious. haha. and i know emo sh*t is NOT your style and you are probably turned off right away. but thanks for tahan-ing and listening. the more i talk to you, the more i see the me in you! scary!!! it makes it easier when we are on the same ground. at least you understand wat i'm trying to say. but hey, don't read all these in the wrong way ya. ;)

Thanks to Z, who happened to be around and helped me carry the heavy stuffs. gimme a break can... not heavy to you but to me heavy lor. the whole day counting and packing stuff. shift here and there. my back pain liao... but glad u were ard to carry them to the utility room tho it wasnt part of your job scope. :P

thanks to those who are so understanding towards my weaknessess in any way.

thanks for the smses, they make my day.

and thanks for all the little things that helped in one way or another.

and thanks to the instructor and tester for making it so easy for me. i got myself a great birthday present this year. after spending so much money, time and effort... like FINALLY... and they made it happen. so thanks. :)

still... i wish someone was here.

i wish someone was here....

ok.. been out if sync fro a while. time to rant. so if u dun haf the time, energy or mood, come back another time. hee.

it's been a crazy 2 weeks or so. wif my partner doing an oreo disappearing act. now you see him, now you don't. well thanks man. and of all times, it juz has to be NOW rite? wen we are having lots of events going on and referrals streaming in. at times like this, i just wish that SOMEONE was around. but oh well... no choice, haf to suck it up and handle this alone. but i sure wish someone was around...

haf you ever been in a situation whereby everything that can happen all happen at the same time? i sure have. wif assessment inside, handling screening on the phone, aircon got screwing up, people walking in and the internet's not working. sure i'm a woman. i probably can multi task better than men. but hey, i'm not an octopus! i dun haf 8 arms to handle everything all at the same time!!!! -_- HELPPPPPPPPP!!!!!! i wish someone was here...

She mentioned, "I've never seen you this busy before leh." i haf to second that. i am TIRED. tired tired tiiiiiiirrrreddddddddddd.

hardly had the time to actually sit and rest. no time for fb, not even on my birthday! sigh... really appreciate all the wonderful messages. but apologies for the late replies my friends. my bad. i wish someone was here...

it's crazy trying to work everything out here on my own. it doesnt help that everyone wants their things done, based on their expectations, at their specific time! sigh... oh well.. got to stay strong. sure i can handle it. i wouldn't say "no probs" coz there is a prob. i know i can do it and do it well given my nature. but still i do wish someone was here...

WaT'S WrONg?

i've been hearing this song over and over again over the radio and i still don't get it. what the heck is wrong wif her? ok la, some people are juz masochistic. i cant say anything abt them but i sure can say abt myself. me no like pain. and for those who know me better, i have a very low threshold of pain. yes, still working on that. sheesh... and lies... i get so turned off by them, instantly. say wat u mean n mean wat u say. otherwise, it takes too much energy to try filtering out the things you say. which is the truth and which are pure lies or jokes. after a while, believe me, i'll be very the malas to layan. if i cant even trust your words, how can i trust anything else. maybe u can say i take things too seriously. but hey, lies ain't jokes to me. they are so not funny lor.

been there. done that. been through worse. like duh of coz i can handle this. well one thing abt pain i haf to say is that it makes one grow stronger and wiser. but that doesn't mean i'm going to sit here, allow you to inflict the pain on me and i have to continue suffering. i'll do wat i haf to do to save myself the pain. unless there's someone else who wld bear it for me. :p ya ya... but who would rite... a girl got to do wat a girl got to do man.

for those who like seeing others suffer, unless they are masochists themselves, go get a life. what goes around comes around. beware of what you do coz u'd never know when they'll slam right back at your face. you'd be lucky if they're not any worse.

Eminem - Love The Way You Lie

Just gonna stand there
And watch me burn
But that's alright
Because I like
And hear me cry
But that's alright
Because I love
The way you lie
I love the way you lie
I love the way you lie

FaiRy TaLe Emo S**T

Do fairy tales happen in real life? Maybe yes. Maybe no. Perphaps they are just not meant for me.

Emo mode turned on. Thanks to Spence!!! wa lao eh...i din know u are some emo sh*t man. at THAT age?!?!? lol. but i guess u've been through though times. perhaps, you've reached a point where enough is enough. hang in there brudder. you might reached the point with Her. but hey, don't close your door just yet. you'd never know who's walking by. the society doesn't need to lose an eligible bachelor like you! it'll be such a waste! remember, 40s is the new 30s. no fret. ;) and of coz, 30s is the new 20s! haha. fine, i might be living in the Nile. At least i'm not delusional. hehe.

have always liked this song. very the touchy feeling. yes, i admire those who can play the waiting game with me. The longer you can wait, the more smitten i'll be. lol. Insya Allah when the time comes, the time comes. and we'll both be ready. I'll tell you one day. but today is not the day. one day it shall be. Let's see how it'll go from there. ;)

HOWEVER... for those who are doing things to make themselves feel better, pray thee spare me. Spare me the time, energy and agony. I don't have much left.

some smses juz make my day. keep them coming please. no expectations tho. coz then, wen they come through, i'll be pleasantly surprised. :)

Love Me ~ Collin Raye

I read a note my Grandma wrote back in 1923
Grandpa kept it in his coat, and he showed it once to me
He said, "Boy, you might not understand, but a long, long time ago, Grandma's daddy didn't like me none, but I love your Grandma so.

We had this crazy plan to meet and run away together
Get married in the first town we came to and live forever
But nailed to the tree where we were supposed to meet instead
I found this letter, and this is what it said :

"If you get there before I do
Don't give up on me
I'll meet you when my chores are through
I don't know how long I'll be

But I'm not gonna let you down
Darling wait and see
And between now and then
Til I see you again

I'll be loving you
Love, Me."

I read those words just hours before my Grandma passed away
In the doorway of the church where me and Grandpa stopped to pray
I know I've never seen him cry in all my fifteen years
But as he said these words to her, his eyes fill up with tears

"If you get there before I do
Don't give up on me
I'll meet you when my chores are through
I don't know how long I'll be

But I'm not gonna let you down
Darling wait and see
And between now and then
Til I see you again

I'll be loving you
Love, Me."

Let'S CeLEbrAte No?

my jinx when it comes to comp is still here to stay. right fr the start of my worklife here till today. fr changing of password, to cannot access this and that... and many more. think ITD scared of me liao. probably cursing and swearing everytime they hear my name. most recently, a super annoying quiz kept popping up in my fb profile. couldnt take it anymore. changed password. didn't work. decided to deactivate my account for a while. den what happened? now i can reactivate it. y? they cant recognise my email. haizzzzzzzzzz... y am i not surprised that this juz has to happen to ME. perhaps some other people too. but surely it has to be ME! y oh y cant comp n i just go together? haizzzzzzzzzz...

anyway, the holy month has juz gone by. no mood to celebrate. is there anything to celebrate? sure i fasted. but could haf done more. much much more. but work commitments dun allow me to do so. haizzzzzzzzz. still, i love my job. i really do. and i thank Allah for it. juz wished i could take the evenings off. so it doesnt feel like raya. never even go to geylang. noone to go wif. too lazy to go too. dun even haf mood to do the yearly spring cleaning. no mood. dowan to do. penat. letih. malas.

ok fine, not going to be a wet blanket for the rest of my bros and sis in Islam. so here's wishing all Muslims a very Selamat Hari Raya. Maaf zahir and batin for all my wrong doings in every possible way. Please also halalkan segala yang termakan dan terminum. Semoga ibadat kita diterima Allah dan kita direstuinya selalu. :)

I woULd iF i CouLd

If I Could Tell You - WH Auden

Time will say nothing but I told you so,
Time only knows the price we have to pay;
If I could tell you I would let you know.

If we should weep when clowns put on their show,
If we should stumble when musicians play,
Time will say nothing but I told you so.

There are no fortunes to be told, although,
Because I love you more than I can say,
If I could tell you I would let you know.

The winds must come from somewhere when they blow,
There must be reasons why the leaves decay;
Time will say nothing but I told you so.

Perhaps the roses really want to grow,
The vision seriously intends to stay;
If I could tell you I would let you know.

Suppose the lions all get up and go,
And all the brooks and soldiers run away?
Will time say nothing but I told you so?
If I could tell you I would let you know.

fLy BuTTeRFLy

I guess if it's meant to be, it's meant to be. Time will tell. Who knows what the future brings.

Butterfly - Mariah Carey

ooh ooh
When you love someone so deeply
They become your life
It's easy to succumb to overwhelming fears inside
Blindly I imagined I could
Keep you under glass
Now I understand to hold you
I must open up my hands and watch you rise

*Chorus
Spread you wings and prepare to fly
For you have become a butterfly (Oooh)
Fly abandonedly into the sun
If you should return to me
We truly were meant to be,
so spread your wings and fly
Butterfly

I have learned that beauty
Has to flourish in the light
Wild horses run unbridled
Or their spirit dies
You have given me the courage
To be all that I
And I truly feel your heart will
Lead you back to me when you're
Ready to land

*Chorus

I can't pretend these tears
Aren't overflowing steadily
I can't prevent this hurt from
Almost overtaking me
But I will stand and say goodbye (stand and say goodbye)

For you'll never be mine

Until you know the way it feels to fly

*Chorus

Spread your wings and prepare to fly
For you have become a butterfly
Fly abandonedly into the sun
If you should return to me
We truly were meant to be (you and I)
So spread your wings and fly (spread your wings and fly)
Butterfly
So flutter through the sky
Butterfly
Fly
Spread your wings and fly
Butterfly.

MuSIc 4 MotHErS AWaItINg JOy

"Music for Mothers Awaiting Joy" that was the title of the album where you can find the following song. Heard it first in Glee. well, it's a way of breaking the news of a shot gun. but to happily married mothers-to-be out there, Hubbies! do dedicate this to your loving wives. :)

(you're) Having My Baby- Paul Anka

Having my baby
what a lovely way of saying
How much you love me.
Having my baby
what a lovely way of saying
What you're think
I can see it your face is glowing

I can see it in your eyes.
I'm happy knowin' that you're having my baby.
You're the woman I love and I love what it's doin' to you.
Having my baby
you're a woman in love and I love
What's goin' through you.
The need inside you
I see it showin'
Oh
the seed inside you
baby
do you feel it growin'
Are you happy in knowin' that you're having my baby?

I'm a woman in love and I love
What it's doin' to me.
Having my baby.
I'm a woman in love and I love
What's goin' through me.

Didn't have to keep it
wouldn't put you through it.
You could have swept it from your life
But you wouldn't do it
no
you wouldn't do it.
And you're having my baby.

I'm a woman in love and I love

I'll StAnD By YOu

Was watching Glee on a wednesday night as usual. i really like the way messages were communicated thru songs. let's juz say it's a gentler way. yes, please be gentle. cos wen u know that the message is going to hurt, there're more than enough reasons to be nice and help reduce the pain. that's teh least that you could do. thru songs is one of the ways i guess. even if you don't sing well, at least do a dedication.

been crying again lately. for various reasons. at times, i don't even know why. this emo thing has hit me lately. i guess it comes and goes as and wen i go thru phases in life. or perhaps, im juz not that much of a head person anymore. probably comes with age?

at times like this, i wish someone wld dedicate this song to me:

I'll Stand By You - The Pretenders

Oh, why you look so sad?
Tears are in your eyes
Come on and come to me now.
Don't be ashamed to cry,
let me see you through
Cause I've seen the dark side too.
When the night falls on you,
you don't know what to do,
Nothing you confess could make me love you less

I'll stand by you,
I'll stand by you,
won't let nobody hurt you,
I'll stand by you.

So, if you're mad get mad,
don't hold it all inside,
Come on and talk to me now.
And hey, what you got to hide?
I get angry too
But I'm alot like you.
When you're standing at the crossroads,
don't know which path to choose,
Let me come along,
cause even if your wrong

I'll stand by you,
I'll stand by you,
won't let nobody hurt you,
I'll stand by you.
Take me into your darkest hour,
and I'll never desert you.
I'll stand by you.

And when, when the night falls on you baby,
you're feeling all alone,
You won't be on your own,
I'll stand by you.
I'll stand by you
I'll stand by you,
won't let nobody hurt you.
I'll stand by you
Take me in into your darkest hour
and I'll never desert you
I'll stand by you.

Anyone out there?

Look Away

Look Away - Chicago

When you called me up this morning,
told me 'bout the new love you found,
I said "I'm happy for you,
I'm really happy for you."
Found someone else,
I guess I won't be coming 'round.
I guess it's over, baby;
it's really over, baby, whoa...
And from what you said
I know you've gotten over me;
it'll never be the way it used to be.
So if it's gotta be this way,
don't worry, baby,
I can take the news okay.

But if you see me walking by,
and the tears are in my eyes,
look away, baby, look away.
If we meet on the streets someday,
and I don't know what to say
look away, baby, look away.
Don't look at me;
I don't want you to see me this way.

When we both agreed as lovers,
we were better off as friends,
that's how it had to be,
yeah, that's how it had to be.
I tell you I'm fine
but sometimes I just pretend;
wish you were holding me,
wish you were still holding me,
whoa... I just never thought,
that I would be replaced so soon
I wasn't prepared to hear those words from you.
I know I wanted to be free;
yeah, baby, this is how we wanted it to be.

But if you see me walking by,
and the tears are in my eyes,
look away, baby, look away.
If we meet on the streets someday,
and I don't know what to say
look away, baby, look away.
Don't look at me;
I don't want you to see me this way.
[Repeat chorus 2x]

When you called me up this morning,
told me 'bout the new love you found.
I said "I'm happy for you,
I'm really happy for you."

AishITeRu

I'm so hooked to this song rite now. like always, i tend to relate my travels to a song this time round, see below. Nor was so semangat, borrowed cd to listen and wrote down the lyrics for us. tu la.. at first ketawakan orang n said dun like. after that, get so hooked to it. lol. familiarity can induce likeness i guess. hehe. ni untuk sesiapa yg orang tersayang tiada disisi. cheh... melayu kot. dah brapa hari kat indon pun masih CMI. sampai kena sindir... ish!

Aishiteru - Zivilia

Menunggu sesuatu yang sangat menyebalkan bagiku
Saat ku harus bersabar dan trus bersabar
Menantikan kehadiran dirimu
Entah sampai kapan aku harus menunggu

Sesuatu yang sangat sulit tuk kujalani
Hidup dalam kesendirian sepi tanpamu
Kadang kuberpikir cari penggantimu
Saat kau jauh disana

[*]
Walau raga kita terpisah jauh
Namun hati kita selalu dekat
Bila kau rindu pejamkan matamu
Dan rasakan a a a aku

[**]
Kekuatan cinta kita takkan pernah rapuh
Terhapus ruang dan waktu
Percayakan kesetiaan ini
Pada ketulusan a a ai aishiteru

Gelisah sesaat saja tiada kabarmu kucuriga
Entah penantianku takkan sia-sia
Dan berikan satu jawaban pasti
Entah sampai kapan aku harus bertahan

Saat kau jauh disana rasa cemburu
Merasuk kedalam pikiranku melayang
Tak tentu arah tentang dirimu
Apakah sama yang kau rasakan

Back to [*][**]

Satu sendiri pikiran melayang terbang
Perasaan resah gelisah
Jalani kenyataan hidup tanpa gairah
Owu..wo..o..

Lupakan segala obsesi dan ambisimu
Akhiri semuanya cukup sampai disini
Dan buktikan pengorbanan cintamu untukku
Kumohon kau kembali

Kimita tuokukitemo
Kiminoi shuaguaratala
Shiniteruyo shiniteruyo

Back to [*][**]

Wo wo wo..
Wo wo wo..a a ai aishiteru

For My FreNZzzZ

b4 i gif this to them, lemme post it up here for juz to share...

To icequeen:

Ten Rules for a Happy Marriage

1. Never both be angry at the same time.
2. Never yell at each other unless the house is on fire.
3. If one of you has to win an arguement, let it be your mate.
4. If you must criticize, do it lovingly.
5. Never bring up mistakes of the past.
6. Neglect the whole world rather than each other.
7. Never go to sleep with an argument unsettled.
8. At least once every day say a kind or complimentary word to your life partner.
9. When you have done something wrong, admit it and ask for forgiveness.
10. Remember it takes two to make a quarrel.
~ advice from a couple who reached their 50th anniversary and successfully made their marriage a promise for life.

To PS:
And nwo here's my secret, a very simple secret. It is only with the heart that one can see rightly. What is essential is invisible to the eye.
~ The Little Prince

To Hali:
Life is beautiful.
Dance like no one is watching.
Love like you will never get hurt.
Sing like no one is listening.
Live like it's heaven on earth.
Enjoy this day.

ShoPPinG = InVEStMENt

You're a wise investment shopper

You are a smart shopper who sees your purchases as an investment. Which is why you won't sacrifice quality for low price -- you're willing to fork out more on well-made pieces such as a well-tailored dress or a pair of comfy leather heels because you know they go a long way.

That doesn't mean you're a spendthrift, because you know exactly what's worth splurging and what isn't. For example, you won't be easily seduced into buying things you don't need -- even if they're on sale. But if your favorite beauty products are marked down, you'd stock a couple of bottles to take advantage of the discount.

Thanks to your savvy shopping strategy, you own an impressive wardrobe without breaking the bank!

oh well, call it watever u want... it's the GSS! but sigh... muz check account... cannot splurge... but it's ok! coz Allah is kind and I'm thankful for the rezeki that He gave to me. :)

U MeLAyu?

last week, i went to an indian rest at little india wif az. this waiter came up and started speaking to me in malay. he spoke so fast, i couldn't catch wat he was saying! da la my melayu ni power sangat... i was like thinking.. pak cik.. if wanna speak malay oso, at least slow down ah. and so.. as much as i tried to speak in malay while using some english words... after a while.. he asked, "Awak Melayu tak? Awak Melayu kan? Apersal tak cakap Melayu?" I'm like... pak cik! saya melayu celup lah! bagi lah discount sikit... sheesh... so technically, as long as i know 1/2, in fact 1/4 of teh malay language, i should be alright. aaaaaaaaahahahhahaaaaaa... the excuses i make for myself. :P

ok ok. i'm bad at the language. i admit. and maybe i should work harder to bring honour to the malay community. melayu boleh! Takkan melayu hilang di dunia! oh well...maybe i'm a disgrace. wateva!

so today, i went there again wif mummy. this time, wen he asked, "Melayu?" I said, "Cina! my mother cina!" den he took a good look at my mother. at first he said... "Bukan cina la". den after a while i think he was convinced. lol. *Shakes head.

it was a pretty "strange" conversation over lunch i muz say. i dun usually do this wif my mum. i was saying that one of my gd frens is getting married tmr. and she asked me abt me and Him. i said truthfully, if it's wif Him, 5 yrs. if not, i dunno. she was like.. 5 yrs ah. wah! very long... But i think she really likes Him. but i think she go the hint. she even said that if it doesnt work out, it's His loss. I was like ... wa lao say until like dat. den she cont by saying... "coz it's not easy to find a good mother-in-law like me." I burst into laughter. cheh... mother mother... she say He's a nice boy, haf to go through a lot in life and she sayang Him. lol. again... mother mother...

den here comes the next part... i was telling her that one of my frens divorced recently. den she like go in to "kancheong" mode. she said, "It's ok if you marry late. as long as you dun get a divorce. so it's ok." u see how my mother sayang Him!

oh well... mummy's views aside, for now... let's juz take a choo choo train ride... slow and steady... and see how it goes... no expectations = no disappointments. no more roller coaster please!

err... are u actually managing my finances for me?!?!??! AAAAAAAHAHAHHAHAAAAA. feels like u are my manager! well i'll leave the negotiating to u den since u are the biz guy anyway. watever it is, the best deal sounds goood... at the end of the day, juz gimme the best that u can get ok. lol. i'm actually trusting a friend wif this like 100% and juz going wif the flow... am i for real!?!??! actually, i'm juz plain lazy :P

If I wAit ...

i tot... ok...maybe today will be a gd day. i shall make the call today. but u know wat. that sms, wth was tat all abt sia. i was like HUH? wat makes u or her think that i'll do that? y suddenly i become a suspect? wat did i do this time? do i even deserve that? such an accusing tone. sheesh... *rolls eyes.

so i guess today is not the day. today is not a gd day. i shall let today pass... perhaps it wld be better if i wait... wait for a better day.

*takes a deep breath. ergh!!!!! it's coming back. it always comes back when such things happen. it's a biological rxn i guess. the way it handles the stress. i'm feeling sick. sick in the stomach. again. ergh! i might juz throw everything up. i'm trying to keep it down. help!

in the mean time, i shalll wait...

Crying In The Rain ~ A-ha

I'll never let you see

The way my broken heart is hurting me

I've got my pride and I know how to hide

All the sorrow and pain

I'll do my crying in the rain

If I wait for cloudy skies

You won't know the rain from the tears in my eyes

You'll never know that I still love you

So though the heartaches remain

I'll do my crying in the rain

Raindrops falling from heaven

Will never wash away my misery

But since we're not together

I'll wait for stormy weather

To hide these tears I hope you'll never see

Someday when my crying's done

I'm gonna wear a smile and walk in the sun

I may be a fool

But till then, darling, you'll never see me complain

I'll do my crying in the rain

I'll do my crying in the rain

I'll do my crying in the rain

I'll do my crying in the rain

oh well... it doesn't help with such erratic weather nowadays. sigh...

BeCOz OF YoU

Because Of You- Kelly Clarkson

I will not make the same mistakes that you did
I will not let myself
Cause my heart so much misery
I will not break the way you did,
You fell so hard
I've learned the hard way
To never let it get that far

Because of you
I never stray too far from the sidewalk
Because of you
I learned to play on the safe side so I don't get hurt
Because of you
I find it hard to trust not only me, but everyone around me
Because of you
I am afraid

I lose my way
And it's not too long before you point it out
I cannot cry
Because I know that's weakness in your eyes
I'm forced to fake
A smile, a laugh everyday of my life
My heart can't possibly break
When it wasn't even whole to start with

Because of you
I never stray too far from the sidewalk
Because of you
I learned to play on the safe side so I don't get hurt
Because of you
I find it hard to trust not only me, but everyone around me
Because of you
I am afraid

I watched you die
I heard you cry every night in your sleep
I was so young
You should have known better than to lean on me
You never thought of anyone else
You just saw your pain
And now I cry in the middle of the night
For the same damn thing

Because of you
I never stray too far from the sidewalk
Because of you
I learned to play on the safe side so I don't get hurt
Because of you
I try my hardest just to forget everything
Because of you
I don't know how to let anyone else in

Because of you
I'm ashamed of my life because it's empty
Because of you
I am afraid

Because of you
Because of you

sigh... i dunno lah... this whole emo thing is juz sooo tiring. im juz too tired to think or argue anymore. is this working out? well i'm trying my best. really i am. but i guess sometimes, my best is just not good enough. not in your eyes. and i'm tired. i'm tired of trying to be the best that i can be and yet still feel all the heartache. yes, I HATE HER. the very sound of her name juz irks the living hell out of me. so, i should call her she-who-shall-not-be-named. hmm.. sounds like a harry potter character, but it sounds better to my ears. u can say watever u wanna say la, i still feel that way. ya ya ya ya ya.. u can say it's me. well.. it was HER in the 1st place. u know.. people should juz stay away fr what is not theirs. coz feeling sorry after dat juz dun work. it's like driving a car over u on purpose, after the injured person haf to go thru operation and all, u say, oh, i'm sorry. like... hello... do already den say sorry ah. i say, think before u do it ok. coz it hurts. but oh well, what goes ard comes ard.

so is it me or it is me? different perspective. depends on which viewpoint u r looking at. ok, so much of pointing fingers... so... here goes...

i'm sorry for screaming,

i'm sorry for being the way i am,

im sorry for being incomplete,

im sorry for being imperfect,

im sorry for not being able understanding completely,

im sorry for not being there all the time,

im sorry for being annoying,

im sorry for being so difficult,

im sorry for not being able to chill,

im sorry for being such an inconvenience,

im sorry for being so bothersome in your life,

i guess, im juz sorry for being me.

so perhaps, this me should juz go and not bother you any longer. den perhaps, life would be better for YOU.

CLAsSIC

She said, "Why are u doing this again? You are doing this for a MEAL?! From ******?!" LOL. that was CLASSIC! i juz cant help remembering that expression. it was sooooooooo farnieeeeee. LOL. i think the next line would probably be, "GOODNESS! WHYYYYYY????" LOL. before that could come out, i was already giving a sheepish smile. LOL. *shakes head. yah yah yah yah yah... i dunno okie. i dunno why. it has been like this for the past 10 years or so. the things i do... MADNESS!

tho i haf His no., i never tot i wld actually contact Him personally. at least the last time, u asked for me but yes, i would agree it'll be too much of me to ask u to contact Him over this matter. so yes... i did it. what could the worst outcome be right? the most He'll juz say that He's not interested. anyway, i'm not counting on meeting up wif Him anytime soon. for a cheap thrill ride (which came at a good time), i would haf called Him directly. but then, after pondering for a while, better not let emotions get in the way. let's sms n test water 1st. at least i'll save myself from some embarrassment and rejection if any. lol.

so she asked me who this person is. i said he's the male version of me. ok well, i hafn't talked abt this for some time now. anyway, not in terms of looks, but character and personality. pretty interesting eh, finding some1 who's like u. it's like talking to "yourself". but somehow, it's scary. so she said, "I think u guys can be good friends." I was like "hmm..." *raise eyebrow. well, given the history behind it all, highly unlikely. then She said, "well, at least there's some1 you can do the things u like with."coming from Her, that's quite a shock. i was like... "ya hor..." except for canoeing and running. but... but... but... no lah. i think it'll still be awkward. lol.

so yes... i'm still waiting for a reply. if there isnt, well... i guess it's juz not meant to be. the ball is in His court.

ShoCk TheRApY

some shock therapy would to some good at times. but at 2 am in the morn, i'd say thanks for waking me up to do my assignment! sheesh... i din expect Him to know him. ok, this might get confusing but, ergh... juz thinking abt him (2nd him) makes me shrug my shoulders. well, i knew that he knows some of my frens, but i din know he knew Him. i was randomly looking at his photos when i saw His foto and i actually blurted out his name. as she would say, terperanjat bobo! and at the time when i'll need her help to get to Him. Well having 2 Lorynn(s) around can be quite fun rite rite? or perhaps awkward. Hmm...

oh yes, and this, tho it might have come as a shock, i wanna say,

If ever (or i maybe should say WHEN) a day comes when you find a better person than me, juz remember that what i gave you is the best of what i have and what i am to you is the best that i could be.

EnoUGH?

sigh... i'm tired. tired, tired, tired... no, it's not abt studies this time. i'm like... hai... tired. when do you tell yourself enough is enough? do u know that enough is enough when u get to that point in time? sigh...

i did say that 1 mth thing like don't work on me rite? i dunno la... it feels like going back to those months prior to it... macam... sigh... sakit hati pun ada. malas pun ada. want to say live and let live, move on... den dun keep bringing it back ah. if keep bringing it back, how to move on rite. den if everytime oso sakit hati, i dun think that's the solution to it. u can say, oh, i dun haf to see wat. while it might be the case of wat u dun know u dun miss. but is ignorance really a bliss? it's coz of ignorance in the 1st place that things escalate to an unbearable level sometimes.

maybe it's me? fine it's me then. watever la eh. u can put the blame on me if it makes u feel any better. wat is all these worth again? is it even worth it or not? sigh... i'm juz tired. as i've said, to go back to those months, somehow, that quiet 1 mth seems more serene. shhh.... perhaps, i was juz getting used to it, away from arguments, away from benda2 yg sakitkan hati.

are u really happy wif this?

Weeeeeeeeeeeeeeee.....

we had such a fun time on sun, rolling on the grass (well ok, i was the only one who did it), and picniking on the grass, all under a black and white roof. lol. minah minah... u r still as funny as ever. but hey, it's a nice place. i like the way u did it up. and those little cups and saucers. :)

it's been a whole since i met some of them. it was fun fun fun. all the updates a.k.a. gossips! and for the 1st time, i played wii! it was fun. but i think it was funnier than fun. lol. u c teachers turning into kids all over again. and i can imagine those guys playing wii on the floating kelong. mesti riuh rendah! wif the place bobbing up and down, it's dangerous! lol. but once u r into the game, nothing else matters! i muz say it was a work out man. but good, coz i need to burn off the calories. like real eh. lol. rabbids! after that, minah introduced monopoly deal... i looked at her, she look at me, i said, can we play wii instead? lol. thinking game... alamak... maybe next time ah. i'm the no-brainer game type ah. too lazy to think so much at that point in time. hee.

the next day, my arms hurt. that's how lazy n weak i've become! lack of exercise. juz bumming ard at home. sheesh... m suppose to study and all. but wat am i doing? PROCRASTINATING AGAIN. heh... maybe i should get a wii too. so i can exercise at home while playing. hehe. but i guess it's no fun playing alone. that's y she was so excited to haf playmates ard. *smiles and shakes head.

well, it oso got me thinking... are the youth nowadays more violent? i wont be surprised if they are and wii is one of the reasons y. the act of beating up a poor rabbid in the name of a game might sound fun and harmless. but with wii, the player actually performs the act physically in with the sole motive of hitting the rabbid. hmm... well, it's only a game and a cute little rabbid. but wat if we were to replace the controller wif a sword? or a baton? the act of hitting is real enough to cause hurt in real life. while attitudes can lead to behaviour, likewise, behaviour can lead to attitudes. so what kind of attitudes do these behaviour lead to then? scary eh... we are adults, so i'd say we are probably more sensible. but kids? teenagers? hmm.. sth to think abt. in the last crime watch, an 18 yr old boy committed murder and the mastermind is a 16 yr old girl. sheesh...

and i'm not surprise y our kids dun engage in outdoor activities nowadays. y do we need to go to a tennis court when we can do it right in front of our tv sets, regardless day or night, rain or shine.

I'M An ARtiSaN... sO it SAyS

Your Keirsey Temperament Sorter Results indicates that your personality type is that of the

ARTISAN

Artisans are the temperament with a natural ability to excel in any of the arts, not only the fine arts such as painting and sculpting, or the performing arts such as music, theater, and dance, but also the athletic, military, political, mechanical, and industrial arts, as well as the "art of the deal" in business."

Artisans are most at home in the real world of solid objects that can be made and manipulated, and of real-life events that can be experienced in the here and now. Artisans have exceptionally keen senses, and love working with their hands. They seem right at home with tools, instruments, and vehicles of all kinds, and their actions are usually aimed at getting them where they want to go, and as quickly as possible. Thus Artisans will strike off boldly down roads that others might consider risky or impossible, doing whatever it takes, rules or no rules, to accomplish their goals. This devil-may-care attitude also gives the Artisans a winning way with people, and they are often irresistibly charming with family, friends, and co-workers.

Artisans want to be where the action is; they seek out adventure and show a constant hunger for pleasure and stimulation. They believe that variety is the spice of life, and that doing things that aren't fun or exciting is a waste of time. Artisans are impulsive, adaptable, competitive, and

believe the next throw of the dice will be the lucky one. They can also be generous to a fault, always ready to share with their friends from the bounty of life. Above all, Artisans need to be free to do what they wish, when they wish. They resist being tied or bound or confined or obligated; they would rather not wait, or save, or store, or live for tomorrow. In the Artisan view, today must be enjoyed, for tomorrow may never come.

There are many Artisans, perhaps 30 to 35 percent of the population, which is good, because they create much of the beauty, grace, fun, and excitement the rest of us enjoy in life.

Artisans at Work

Artisans seek to make an impact upon the organizations where they work and upon society at large. Their alertness to current realities, the joy they take in variation, and their tendency to follow their instincts to 'what works' make them good troubleshooters and negotiators, talented performers and craftspeople and excellent leaders in all kinds of emergencies and chaotic situations.

On the job, you are apt to have an extraordinary memory for facts and details, as well as superior powers of observation. Ideally, the work you choose will make use of these vast databanks of knowledge and impressions. In the workplace, you can be excited by the chance to capitalize on opportunities others don’t perceive, and applying information to present or emerging challenges.

RoSe FroM The LitTLe PRInCE

since i was talking abt roses, here are some quotes fr the book titled The Little Prince by Antoine de Saint-Exupery. I love this book... such a meaningful story. again, read between the lines.

Pg 25 -

Flowers are weak, they are naive. They reassure themselves as best as they can. They think they are being frightening with their thorns.

Pg 71 -

Go and look at your roses again. You will understnad that yours is after all, unique in the world.

Pg 71&72 -

You are nothing like my rose. As yet, you are nothing at all. Nobody has tamed you, and you have tamed nobody.

Pg 72 -

you can only see things clearly with your heart. What is essential is invisible to the eye.

It is the time you have wasted on your rose that makes you rose so important.

You become responsible, for ever, for what you have tamed. You are responsible for your rose.

Pg 76 -

The stars are beautiful, because of a flower that cannot be seen.

Pg 77 -

What affects me so strongly about this sleeping price is his loyalty to a flower, to the image of a rose, which shines inside him like a flame of a lamp, even as he sleeps...

And I felt him to be more fragile still. A leamp needs to be shielded with care: the nearest puff of wind can blow it out.

Pg 79 -

people grow five thousand roses in one garden-and still they do not find what they are looking for.

Yet what they are looking for can be found in a single rose, or a handful of water.

Pg 81 -

you run the risk of a few tears when you allow yourself to be tamed...

Pg 85 -

If you love a flower that lives on a star, it is sweet to look up at the night sky. All the stars are in bloom.

Pg 88 -

You know - my flower... I am responsible for her! And she is so weak! She is so naive! She has four tiny little thorns to protect her against the world.

A fren told me: Love = Devotion + Responsibility. Interesting perspective. i'd like to think abt it that way too.

TrEAt ME LiKe A ROSe

on a lighter note fr the previous post, i remembered singing this for one of my frens years ago. ok, i cant sing well but the meaning is good. he was wondering what he could have done to win his then gf back. what he could have done better. so i sang him this song. well, most of us girls (including yours truly of coz) would like to be treated like a rose. so guys, catch the hint. ;)

Like a Rose - A1

and as i look into your eyes
i see an angel in disguise
sent from god above
for me to loveto hold and idolise

and as i hold your body near
i'll see this month through to a year
and then forever on
til life is gone
i'll keep your loving near

and now i've finally found my way
to lead me down this lonely road
all i have to do
is follow you
to lighten off my load

you treat me like a rose
you give me room to grow
you shone the light of love on me
and gave me air so i can breathe
you open doors that close
in a world where anything goes
you give me strength so i stand tall
within this bed of earth
just like a rose

and when i feel like hope is gone
you give me strength to carry on
each time i look at you
there's something new
to keep our loving strong

i hear you whisper in my ear
all of the words i long to hear
of how you'll always be
here next to me
to wipe away my tears

and now i've finally found my way
to lead me down this lonely road
all i have to do
is follow you
to lighten off my load

you treat me like a rose
you give me room to grow
you shone the light of love on me
and gave me air so i can breathe
you opened doors i closed
in a world where anything goes
you give me strength so i stand tall
within this bed of earth
just like a rose

and though the seasons change
our love remains the same
you face the thunder
when the sunshine turns to rain
just like a rose

you treat me like a rose
you give me room to grow
you shone the light of love on me
and gave me air so i can breathe
you opened doors i closed
in a world where anything goes
you give me strength so i stand tall
within this bed of earth
just like a rose

you give me strength so i stand tall
within this bed of earth
just like a rose

My PrEtTy RoSe TrEe

This is going to be rather interesting. If you get it, u get it, if you don't well, read harder. lol. read between the lines. think of the imagery. reminds me of mrs teo during lit class. most of the time, we simply dun understand wat she's trying to say as she related the imagery to things which we never thought of. a single word like "red" and she can go on and on and on and on leaving us going "huh? got meh?". well, blake din really make sense den. but now, i'm glad i know this guy by the name of william blake. presenting My Pretty Rose Tree from Willam Blake's collection of Songs of Experience.

My Pretty Rose Tree ~William Blake

A flower was offered to me,
Such a flower as May never bore;
But I said "I've a pretty rose tree,"
And I passed the sweet flower o'er.

Then I went to my pretty rose tree,
To tend her by day and by night;
But my rose turned away with jealousy,
And her thorns were my only delight.

ah... yes... i see smiles. not that difficult to understand. well...

a flower offered herself, according to this poem a really pretty and unique one. but our fren said he has a pretty rose tree so passed the flower over (how nice). poor flower eh. (yeah rite. offering herself even tho she knows he has a rose tree? bluegh! go find someone else.)

when he went back to his rose tree and told her abt it (in contrast to her finding out for herself), trying to be extra nice (not sure if it's cos of guilt or juz being nice generally), obviously the rose tree got pissed wif jealousy and shows off her thorns as a form of defense.

sth else that's missing fr blake's poem, ok, he meant it the way it was. but i was juz thinking, wat if the guy didn't really pass the rose over? or maybe he did. but the rose choose to remain closeby (and that's juz blardy annoying) and he "can't help" (so he says) having the "extra" company or glancing at her fr the distance or juz walking by her. ah... now u c the reason y the rose tree is pissed? is it her fault when he continues to do it, being that popular friendly and helpful boy towards the rose? is it her fault to be extra cautious especially when she's annoyingly nearby? let's take a while to think about it.

some might say, the rose tree dun trust the guy. others might say, no self-confidence. a handful might say inferiority complex. or juz insecurity. like duh! u try being in this position and u tell me if u get insecured. is it the tree's fault? everyone needs to fend for themselves when they are put in a vulnerable situation. it's an animal instinct.

jealousy? initially yes. now, i would say it's a matter or integrity, sincerity and honour - in terms of words and acts. oh well...upholding them might be a challenge to some. wat about u?

Don't go breaking my

Was watching chicken little. So small and CUTEEEEEEE... adn ugly duckling is kinda charming. lol. well, looks are just superficial.

but then again, once someone asked us, what's a "no no" to us. we said mats! (with all due respect to all mats in the world) den he asked, wat if the mat has a good heart? and we said... still... it's a mat. so much for "looks are superficial". heeeee... however, i do know of frens who are really nice tho some might not find them good-looking. :)

anyway... was just thinking how this "time out" thing works. wat are we supposed to do again? wat i tot was... to somehow do a reflection of what happened, how it could be handled, and how things are going to be like in the future. am i getting this right? so... does that oso mean that during this window period we can like do watever we want and they cannot be used against us in the future?

i've said it b4 and i'm saying this again, somehow, i don't understand how this works. and it doesn't work for me. but if it works for u... all i've got to say is, watever that works for u la eh. coz fr wat i c, there's not much difference anyway. perhaps u still dun get where i'm coming fr. or isit i don;t get where u are coming fr. ok la.. too malas to think too much abt it liao. wat will be will be.

In the meantime,

Today is a brand new day. ~ Chicken Little :)

I dunno how this song is related to the show, but i juz wanna relate the message to Him. Y? Coz i don't wanna go through it again.

Don't go breaking my Heart

Don't go breaking my heart
I couldn't if I tried
Oh honey if I get restless
Baby you're not that kind

So don't go breaking my heart
You take the weight off of me
Oh honey when you knock on my door
I gave you my key

Nobody knows it
When I was down
I was your clown

Nobody knows it
Right from the start
Gave you my heart
Gave you my heart

So don't go breaking my heart
I won't go breaking your heart
Oh yeah
Don't go breaking my heart

And nobody told us
'Cause nobody showed us
And now it's up to us baby
I think we can make it

So don't misunderstand me
You put the light in my life
Oh you put the sparks to the flame
I've got your heart in my sights

Nobody knows it
When I was down
I was your clown

Nobody knows it
Nobody knows it
Right from the start
I gave you my heart
Gave you my heart
Oh you gave it

Don't go breaking my heart
I won't go breaking your heart
Don't go breaking my heart

Nobody knows it
When I was down
I was your clown

Right from the start
Gave you my heart
Gave you my heart
Oh no baby don't go

Don't go breaking my heart
I won't go breaking your heart
Don't go breaking my
Don't go breaking my
I won't go breaking your heart

Don't go breaking my heart
Don't go breaking my
I won't go breaking your heart
Don't go breaking my
Don't go breaking my
I won't go breaking your heart
Don't go breaking my
Don't go breaking my

PsyChoLOGy LEsSon - Stress

alright... let's start wif a psyc lesson. *takes out my psyc books. well... since my brain haf gone on an overdrive for the past week, wats a little blog entry compared to 15oo words essays. ;) hopefully readers will understand. i'll try to make it easy, and well.. readers, u can try and fit it into your stressful situation. :)

According to Coon and Mitterer (2009), "stress is the mental and physical condition that occurs when we adjust or adpat to the environment" and "a stessor is a condition or event that challenges or threatens a person" (p. 463-464). While short-term stresses can be uncomfortable, long term ones are totally different (Coon & Mitterer, 2009).

Therefore, when there's a change in environment or situation, you get to experience stress, mentally and physically. This is due to the stressor which intimidates you based on your current condition, or if i might say, "comfort zone". While it's manageable to handle stress in the short run, continued expose to stress can lead to graver conditions in the long run.

Basically, stress depends on your personal outlook at the situation. While some people might find it distressinsg (like me in my case), it gives others a thrill, also called eustress. So, if you perceive a situation to be a threat, then a stress reaction automatically follows (Folkman & Moskowitz, 2004; Lazarys, 1991 cited from Coon & Mitterer, 2009). However, a threat is about control. If you think you can't control a situation, then it's threatening. If you think you can, then it's not, and thus not stressful. Idea is, you've got to be in control! Take charge! There are things that you can control and there are things that you cant. For the latter, throw them out of the window and don't bother. Focus on controlling the former.

Now let's move on to handling threats or stress. To cope with emotions, we can use the emotion-focused coping method and basically, control our emotions. To cope with the situation, we use the problem-focused coping method and try to mange or correct the situation itself. Sometimes, both methods are used concurrently (Coon & Mitterer, 2009). Personally, one efficient way is to, REMOVE THE STRESSORS. Den both emotions and and situations are in check. ;) However, sometimes that is easier said than done right? For instance, how do you remove an irritating person from the face of the earth?

Let me now introduce you to the diathesis-stress model (ok, it's actually for extreme cases of disorder). According to this model, "individuals inherit tendencies to express certain traits of behaviors, which may then be activated under conditions of stress" (Barlow & Durand, 2009). Perhaps this is my B****Y self. hehe. Anyway, i'm juz using this as an oversimplified version of handling stress. Simply put, metaphorically, each of us have a glass with a certain limit to the amount of water (stress) we can fill (handle). Some of us can handle more, while others are more vulnerable due to many different reasons. As long as the water (stress) is below the limit, we are alright. But beyond that, a disorder will surface.

So, it is imparative to say that we should try, as much as possible, to keep the stress level below that limit before we drive ourselves crazy by the situation. You can try methods stated in the second paragraph. Well, there are other methods of coz, whatever that works for you.

Right now, regarding this whole matter, my glass is filled up till my limit line. I'd have to say, i would have tolerated a lot of shit in the past. But the stressor juz brought it up the the highest level. Therefore, unless i get to bring the level down, it's definately not a healthy sign, even after all this time. Any events that poses a threat to me will mean that it'll go beyond the limit and i'll juz go "crazy" again. So i'd say, I don't wanna tolerate any more shit from this whole fiasco. The ball is in your court. It's not about wat you say, coz well.. u don't seem to mean wat u say sometimes, but wat you DO. As the saying goes, Action speaks louder than words. No use being a NATO.

References:

Barlow, D. H. (2009). Abnormal psychology: An integrative approach (5th ed.). Wadsworth Cengage Learning.

Coon, D. & Mitterer, J. O. (2009). Psychology: Modules for active learning. Thomson Wadsworth.

Wajah Rahsia Hati

ok some how the "paste" f(n) (A maths!!!! sheesh.. im getting nerdy again. but wateva... i like nerds anyway. lol.) is not working here. but since i owe this to the teenagers out there, here's the thing for you. enjoy while it lasts. well.. teenage years were the best and worst time in my life. but hey, i won't trade my teen years for anything else. That's where it all started... :)

Wajah Rahsia Hati – Ali Setan

Dalam kehidupan ini
Yang terindah
Melalui usia remaja
Senda gurau suka duka
Sering berganti
Meninggalkan kesan abadi

Oh berdebar-debar hatinya
Kali pertama bertentang mata
Inilah pengalaman
Harus ditempuhi tiap insan

Kenakalan atau kesungguhan
Sukar mencari perbezaan
Betapa kau cuba melindungi
Jelas di wajah rahsia hati

TiREd

i am TIRED. tired tired tired tiiiiiiiireeeeeeeeeddddddddd... mentally and physically. ok, u get the drift. it's been another crazy week. lucky dun haf work to do. but the assignments were jammed pack. and i didn't get any help this time round. hee. but it had caused me to be physically drainedddd... fr mon all the way.. by the time it'd fri, i cant take it liaooooo... my brain had gone on a major overdrive. the eyes cant decide when to open or close anymore. and i'm not feeling too good... feels like im going to fall sick. :S still.. one more assignment to go, supposedly due at midnight. and i hafnt even started! ergh... it's ok it's ok.. got grace period. every since this thing started... i've not been handing my assignments on time. always haf to extend to grace period. and this cant continue esp for next sem, if i actually get to the crimonology module. at first was not interested at all. but asa i read the description, somehow i got a good feel abt it. den again of coz my choice is not abt feeling, im a head person after all. so i based it on the psy test i did befoer and hey, law was ranked pretty high. but this time round, got to do ECA. so cannot go beyond midnight to submit. hmm...

well emotionally, all i wanna say for now is that i might not be too sure abt what i really want. but i's absolutely sure what i don't want. i don't want to get hurt... again. over? it's far fr over and hey... as wat u used to say, it ain't over till it's over baby. so knowing what i don't want, i'm juz being cautious in every step and move i make. it's going to take time, but i'm going to take my time... juz to be on the safe side. and hey, i wont be surprised over the things that i would do juz to "protect" myself fr being hurt again. perhaps, that's juz a survival and animal instict... to avoid danger or potentially harmful things. in this case, situations and people.

PaREntS N TeeNs

was surfing channels and happen to come across a prog titled "PG" on suria. ok, i cant remember wat "PG" stands for.. it was in malay. so no surprises.

anyway.. this episode was abt how parents handle their teenage children. then it got me thinking... boy it's certainly not easy to be a parent. esp of hormone raging teenagers, trying to find some form of rootedness in who they are while trying to keep their hormones and sexuality in check.

so this episode (or probably the rest too, i duno, this is the 1st time im actually watching it.. in MALAY! wow. im so proud of myself. but then again, i've been more in touch wif my melayu these days. but that's another story.) was abt the different parenting styles with regards to their teen children having BGR. lol. been sooooooooo long since i used that term. and to think someone used that on me lately, GOSH! tu zaman kental siaaaaaaaaaa... when i saw her msg, "is it a BGR problem?" i almost burst into laughter. BGR eh... that is like so juvenile. den again. she's much younger. so i juz smiled to myself answering "sorta..." tho i wont call it "BGR". *shakes head.

it's interesting how some parents, or perhaps most parents, handle this whole thing. fr the super strict, cornering the child, giving curfew, confiscating the hp and limiting communication and all. how that i'm at this stage of life, i guess, the parents are juz being concerned and duh, all of us know, parents and child alike, studies should be your top priority. His mum used to tell him, "Umm... don't neglect your studies ah. Studies comes 1st." dat's not saying that she wanted us to break up or sth... juz that watever it is, if wanna haf a relationship, make sure your studies are not affected. i guess parents are concerned that if their child haf a r/s den thier studies wld be affected -vely coz less focus or spend less time on it. oh well.. perhaps they are right? or perhaps, the children can prove them wrong? come to think abt it, my parents never really said anything. den again, i dun really talk to them abt such stuff. do you?

well, at that point in time, let's really ask ourselves, how many of us haf used THAT as an excuse. or well... heard that as an excuse to get out of a relationship? The excuse... "it's not you, it's me. i don't think it's the right time. i need to concentrate on my studies." and leaving u asking... what the.. after all these months/yrs??? u suddenly decided that having a r/s is not for you? if u were so concerned abt studies, y even start in the 1st place? and the irony is... you actually do better than him/her after the brakeup. and worse, he/she gets attached to someone else. den u wld know... it's NOT abt studies. it hurts but hey, take pride.. at least u do better in your studies wifout him/her. ;) so does dat mean that our parents are right in the 1st place? Hmm...

My parents? well... like everyone else... it was a hush hush thing at first. LOL. hey.. being "open" is not eactly in my dictionary esp when dealing wif them. but it's nice to know that when they found out, they were pretty cool abt it. i guess i've gained their trust. I have been a goody-two-shoes all this while. or was i? *winks. if they knew.. they'd probably skin me alive. hey... like 99% of people in the world, i've done things i'm not proud of. i'm not a saint. are you?

being parents is not an easy task. they simply want the best for their children in every way possible and it's juz natural for them to protect us fr harm... only to lead us to the better gd. That is, their perception of "good" while ours might differ. but that doesnt mean we should be rude or anything towards them, and likewise, parents should probably cut us some slack. den again, wat do i know... i'm not a parent... yet.

for the teenagers out there who's in love which seems so real,
here's sth for you. hmm... ok, sth's wrong, cannot cut and paste. perhaps some other time.

for those who haf already gotten over the puppy love, teenage phase and are in for the "real" deal, here's sth for you. did i say i've been in touch wif my melayu self? here's some jual beli pantuns for you, by yours truly. Dun laugh! I really come up wif this on my own ok... tho might not be up to standard wif the additional eng word, but hey, it's a great achievement coming fr this melayu celup and i'm proud of it. lol. juz a little back grd, was talking to a fren abt MJ12 whereby there are some malay people who sends flowers wif dunno wat they jampi2 to the girl they want.

here goes,

Me:
Tadi pagi main layang-layang,
Terjatuh ia di kolam sana,
Jangan takut wahai cik abang,
Kalau dah jodoh takkan ke mana.

Jawapan (fr my fren):

Buat kek di dapur sana,
Kek bantut Cik Poet merana,
Yelah jodoh takkan ke mana,
Tapi kalo jodoh ngan those melayu cammana?

(*lol. 1stly, i still dunno wat bantut means. 2ndly, "those melayu" refers to those who uses hocus pocus techniques to get the girl.)

Me:
Hang tuah seorang laksamana,
Laksamana Melayu di dunia,
Bila choosing tu biarlah bijaksana,
Insya'Allah dapat yang mulia.

considering i use sejarah, hey tu markah bonus! LOL. ok... this pantun2 thing is juz not my thing and my brain went on an overdrive.

soo... pandai2 lah eh.. cik abang and cik adik di luar sana... :)

Friends with Benefits

Interesting read... There's even a term for this!

Can We Be More Than Just Friends with Benefits?

Question:I have been really good friends with a guy, but I don't want us to remain as only "friends with benefits." Whenever I see him flirting with other women, I get terribly upset because he acts as if there is nothing between us -- and there is. But I can't voice out my true feelings and tell him, "I don't want you to flirt with other women" because we're not having a relationship and I'm not his girlfriend. What should I do?

Answer:

But you are already having a relationship – just a one-sided one, without any emotional involvement on his part.The thing about friends with benefits is that, often, only one partner gets all the benefits while the other gets heartbroken. It's the nature of the deal – a friendship with benefits only serves to satisfy the physical needs without the emotional commitment. And because women are pretty much wired to form emotional attachments to men they are intimate with, casual relationships tend to be a bad bargain for the fairer sex.

That's why having friends with benefits can get so confusing: You are emotionally attached to him, believe that he must feel the same about you and so you expect him to demonstrate some level of affection, for example, by being attentive to your feelings and certainly by not being overly friendly with other women. But then you realize he won't even recognize a relationship.

The result: You're hurt and confused.

I know it's hard, but you have to put an end to this friends-with-benefits arrangement between you. Then, hopefully, he'll start paying more attention to you and take you seriously. But even if he doesn't, at least you'll get back your self-respect. You deserve better.

Well ladies, maybe,

Is TiS A COnVERsaTIon?

ok.. its been a while since i've chatted in malay. as much as my ic states "Malay", it wont take long for anyone to realise that i suck at the language and talking abt Malay classes juz sends a shiver down my spine. Ok, i'm dat bad. I admit.

but i haf to say im pretty proud of myself to be able to understand, or at least pretend to know what is going on. lol. of coz it took some time to really read and try to make out wat is being said. but hey, how in the world do people understand this:

sape?
ntah ey
nnt thur drg confem
but i thk luh kn
confm2 drg g nye uh
nk blikn ape ey?
kac duit tk leh?
blh kn?
nnt prg i slip

now i'm no gramamr police. but the above? hmm... are they even words?! let's juz say i was overwhelmed. never had to decipher such statements before! i guess its juz the culture. different cultural background. or perhaps generation. hehe. so i got a culture shock. guess it's time to work on my CQ! but let's oso not be deculturalised. hey, i'm paying attention during lecture! ;)

AnALoguE

The future is analogue!!!!!!!! WOO HOO!!!!!!! u heard me? u read that? way to go lomo! i likeeeeeeee....

it's not boring. it gives pleasant surprises. and who's to tell you how to take great photographs?!

prob is.. we've go to find shops that sell film! it's been like ages since people buy film.. but we still need those 3-in-1 packs to save cost. we still haf to pay for developing the fotos u know...

SpOOkY TALeS #4

Prior to joining a new company, this guy A was working at boat quay area. In those tall building offices like UOB and such. His office was quite high up the level at least 30 and above. Normally he will have to stay back for OT and in the evening, all the lifts will be stopped due to security reasons. Whenever he wanted to leave, he will need to call the old security uncle to activate the lift from ground floor to his level. Then the uncle will send the lift up..

After sometime, he left the company and joined another place where his office also very high up in the building. Hence if do OT, also need to call uncle to send lift up. Then it came the day that he's working OT for the first time at the new place. He stayed back till 12 plus am and When he's about to leave, he called the security uncle to send the lift up. After packing up he went to the lobby to wait for the lift. He waited and waited. 10 mins passed, Lift not up. He waited for another 10 mins and call the security uncle. S denotes security here.

A: Hello Uncle ah, have you send the lift up?
S: Yeah sent liao.
A: No leh I been waiting for 20 mins liao leh
S: No meh? okie okie I send again.

Another 5 minutes went by. No lift came up. The guy got worried. He's the last person to leave and there's no one around. He called the uncle on his handphone again.

A: Er... Uncle ah, you sure you sent the lift up?
S: Yeah I sent it up twice liao leh.
A: But I saw the lifts all on the first floor leh!
S: Aiyoh. Nevermind. I take the lift up and look for you.

Again, A waited. 5 minutes passed but none of the lift are moving. Then suddenly, his hp ring. The uncle voice was on the other side of the line sounding very weird.

S: Where are you? I am here. But I cannot find you.

All this while A was staring at the display of the lifts. All at level 1..... and the uncle is here.... shit something is not right.

A straight away chiong to the stairs and dashed down the building... When he reached ground level, he chiong to the security counter and he found out that....

He had actually called the old security uncle in the building of his ex-company and not the security uncle of his new office -_- He work till sian liao and was damn blur. Feeling very pai seh, he also never call back to explain to the security uncle from the building of his ex-company.

Blur cock and poor uncle. He must be the one who actually freaked out going all the way up and saw no one there hahaha

Moral of the story - dun work till becoming like sotong.... :)

SpOOkY TaLeS #3

When I was young, I went to town to work with a group of friends during our summer holidays of two months. Being young and away from home for the first time, we drank and smoke like nobody's business. One night, we were pissed drunk and flagged the last bus down to go home. Being tired, we slept in the bus. It had been awhile that I fell asleep. I was awake by the chilly wind. I was shocked to find that there was no one in the bus, and I was the last passenger. I looked in front tocheck out for the driver. But the driver was no where in sight. Yet, the bus was moving. I panicked shitless. I rubbed my eyes to make sure that I was not dreaming. The night was dark and cold. I hysterically jumped out from the bus and tried to run as hard as I could to get away. Then I heard someone yelled at me from behind the bus.

"Hey! Don't run away! Come over here and help to push the bus!" yelled the bus driver. I saw my other friends helping to push the bus, which broke down while I was asleep.

SpOoKY TALeS #2

When I was young, I have two friends who were very close to each other. They played with each other everyday. It was like, if you see A, you would see B next to him. They were always together. A loved fried eggs. Whenever he went out for lunch or dinner,without fail, he would ask for fried egg on top of his noodles, fried rice, etc. One day, A involved in an accident and died. B was devastated. B went to the cemetery to pray everyday. He would go to the nearest restaurant and ta pao a box of fried rice with an egg on top to be offered to A when he went to pray to him. The next day, he opened the box and there was no egg inside!B was petrified. He thought, must be A who came and took the fried egg away. The same thing happened the next day and the day after that. B was confused. So, one day, he asked the chef to make the same fried rice with a fried egg again. Then, he went to the cemetery to offer it to A. Curious, he opened the box to check for the egg. He was angry to find that, there was no fried egg in the box after all. Feeling that he had been cheated, he went back to the restaurant and demanded to see the Chef. "Where is the fried egg?? I told you there must be a fried egg inside!! You have cheated me for a few days now! Gimme back my money!!"

Then, the Chef got really angry and opened the box - the fried egg was inside the box. The Chef said, "Stupid! You open the box upside down. No wonder you cannot see the egg!!"

SpOKy TALeS #1

was listening to MJ 12 lately... the guy in black gave me a shock! it muz haf been a priceless reaction from me. well wat do u expect? it was in the middle of a quiet night. tu lah.. tak de keje lain! anyway, came across these stories in my inbox.

When I was young, I lived in a deserted kampong deep in the jungle. Every night, my mother would ask me not to go home too late as there won't be any transportation after a certain time. One night, before going home, I ta pao a kueh teow soup for supper. I was late and I waited for the taxi/bus but there was none. I was getting worried as the night was getting darker and darker. So I tried to flag down private vehicles to take me home. There was no one stopping for me, till one motorcyclist took compassion on me and stopped to give me a lift. He was a man with a kind face. I accepted his offer and got onto his motorbike On the way home, we would pass by a temple. At night, the temple would look eerily spooky with the dim lights from the candles. At first,the motorcyclist was warm and friendly. When the temple was approaching, the motorcyclist eyes grown bigger and bigger. His kind face turned to a face of anger. He was muttering something loud but was not audible to me. I was so scared that I closed my eyes in order not to see his angry face. Then, the motorcylist stopped in front of the temple and then yelled at me.

"Your kueh teow soup is so hot!! It is burning my thigh! Can you please move it away???"